avidtraveler Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Hi, I'm needing some advice dealing with personal relationships. This has been bothering me for a while. I've been in Belize for about a two months now with some friends and my fiance, I flew back home to attend a friend's wedding, and my fiance is flying out with me again next week. Now the two of us (and some friends later on) are planning to travel around Central America for the next six months. There is just one problem, my fiance has to go back home for about a month to deal with work issues. My friends won't be with me at this time either. I'm not thrilled about the prospect of being in a third world country alone (at this time, I'm planning to be in Brazil), so I was thinking of asking my ex-fiance to join me. My ex-fiance and I had quite a bad break up, we dated for five and a half years starting when he was 15, then I dumped him but we stayed best friends. About a year later, I found out that he had a girlfriend (which he hid from me because he didn't want to hurt me) and I got sooo jealous, and convinced him to cheat on her with me. He did, and then dumped her and got back together with me, and told me he had never really cared for her, he had just been dating her because he couldn't have me. We dated again, and then got engaged. Unfortunately, about six months later I met someone else and thought I could do better, and cheated on my fiance with him, and then dumped him for him. I wanted to stay best friends with him (I still consider him my best friend) but he didn't want to. That relationship with the other guy didn't end up working out, but I eventually ended up with the man I'm with now. I know he never got over me, we have several mutual friends and they all say that they had never seen anyone more heartbroken than him, and that he couldn't date for a long time after. It has been three years now, and I heard that he is seeing someone, but I don't think it's anyone serious. I know he would drop her in a heartbeat and go back to me if I asked him, but at this stage I'm happy with my fiance. In some ways I feel bad that I ruined his life and that he'll never love anyone but me, but it is also nice to know that if things don't work out in my current relationship, I can always go back to him. Now, the problem with inviting him is he might take this as an excuse to try to get back together with me. I know he never got over me (we have a lot of mutual friends who confirmed this) and I don't want to mislead him. Right now, I like having the option that if my current relationship doesn't work out, I can always go back to him because I know he'd take me back in a heartbeat, but as of now..I'm happy with my fiance. I know he's dating someone, but I'm pretty sure it's not serious. DISCLAIMER: this is not racist what I'm about to say. I know she's Asian, and I know family is really, really important to him as he lost his mom at a young age and he adopted my mother as his "foster mother" when we were dating. Both our families are French Canadian and we got along as one big family (as I don't have a dad, and he doesn't have a mom), having dinner together every night. Therefore I don't think he would ever be serious about an Asian girl due to the cultural and language barrier, and not being able to be close to her family like he was to mine. I also know she's in law school, and I don't think my ex-fiance is the type who'd want the kind of girl who was in law school. Like I said in my other post, he dumped a girl who was going to go to law school for me and said she wasn't smart enough to be with him. I also don't think most guys find girls in law school attractive. She is also younger than him, and I KNOW my fiance likes older women (I am several years older than him), so I can't imagine why he would want to date her. My best friend also saw them together and told me it looked like he hated her. So I don't think it's anything serious. As I said before, me and my ex-fiance had a break once before, where I dumped him and we were apart for a year (but still remained best friends). He started dating someone else for about six months. When I decided I wanted him back, *boom* he dumped her and got back together with me. So I know if I asked him back he would dump this girl and get back together with me. My mom tells me that I shouldn't ask him to come along because it would just make things messy. But I really don't want to be overseas alone in a country where I don't know the language. What do you think I should do?
avidtraveler Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Anyone? I would really like some advice with this please
KittenMoon Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 I, personally, feel very sorry that this guy has a "friend" like you. If you had even half a heart you'd stop stringing him along, ruining his other relationships, and using him as your back-up. You obviously care far less for his feelings than you do for the "someone likes me" high you get from having him around.
THX2000 Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Anyone? I would really like some advice with this please You need help sweety. Leave the guy alone for Christ's sake. You have f***ed up his life on several occasions in a big way and now you want to bring him back into your life because it's what YOU want. Grow up and leave the guy alone if you really care about him - interfering in his life will only continue to hurt him.
tikigods Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 I agree its time to let him move on and get over you, stringing him along and using him for your own purpose is just curel
MadDog Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 I'd totally get with the Asian law school chick over you.
avidtraveler Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 How is being Asian and being in law school attractive? I find most caucasian guys who date asian girls only do so because they can't get a caucasian girl to date. as for being in law school, well I will let that speak for itself, other than it is NOT attractive for a girl. I do not think I am stringing him along because I would get back together with him if it didn't work out with my FH. so it's not as if he has no hope.
catgirl1927 Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 How is being Asian and being in law school attractive? I find most caucasian guys who date asian girls only do so because they can't get a caucasian girl to date. as for being in law school, well I will let that speak for itself, other than it is NOT attractive for a girl. I do not think I am stringing him along because I would get back together with him if it didn't work out with my FH. so it's not as if he has no hope. I call troll.
MadDog Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 How is being Asian and being in law school attractive? I find most caucasian guys who date asian girls only do so because they can't get a caucasian girl to date. as for being in law school, well I will let that speak for itself, other than it is NOT attractive for a girl. I do not think I am stringing him along because I would get back together with him if it didn't work out with my FH. so it's not as if he has no hope. Well being Asian doesn't make her any more or less attractive but being in law school does. It means she's relatively smart & has career goals (e.g. isn't counting on me to be her sugar daddy.) I'd date a hot girl like that any day of the week.
Iron Maiden Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 I'm going to make things clear and I'm going to do it once. Stop asking for advice on things you've already done and pretend they didn't happen. This is what the third thread you have on this? All of which you made after you asked me and I didn't reply. You've invited me what three or four times now I believe, but who's counting. Of course I've ignored all of your emails, yet you continue to spam me on both personal and work emails. I wished you a nice life over three years ago and I haven't said a word to you since. Why do you still call me your best friend? I figured by ignoring you, you would eventually go away. Obviously, you aren't very quick with those things. I mean because spamming my mail boxes with weekly emails (sometimes what 3 a week?) for 4 months wasn't enough to get the message across. Move on cause I haven't thought of you for a long time. Keep your Nazi views to yourself and stay away from me and my Girlfriend. I hope that clarifies things for you. However, based on past experiences, I'll spell this out for you one more time: I'm not interested in going on a trip with you no matter where it is, even if it was free nor am I interested in coming along on your honeymoon to spent "time with you alone." I'm very happy with my current girlfriend (and who wouldn’t? I mean the girl is an ex-model, a genius, in law school, and a sweetheart – and if you heard otherwise, people are lying to you to make you feel good) and even if I was single, I wouldn't want to talk to you. Ps. I never proposed nor have I ever given you an engagement ring. I was never your fiancé, and therefore, I am not your ex-fiancé – Dream on!
blind_otter Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 How is being Asian and being in law school attractive? I find most caucasian guys who date asian girls only do so because they can't get a caucasian girl to date. That's a nasty, catty comment. This is why I dislike women in general. Because they say stuff like this. - ohhhh. i just read the psot above mine
blind_otter Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 this is so a troll thread. At least it was more creative and entertaining than a "I am a white male who is 6'1 tall and a satanist" thread.
tinktronik Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 At least it was more creative and entertaining than a "I am a white male who is 6'1 tall and a satanist" thread. True ,although I enjoyed some of the replies on that thread.
avidtraveler Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 That person really isn't my ex-fiance, just someone impersonating him. I know because he has facts wrong - he proposed to me a few months after we started dating and bought me a ring, I just didn't accept till much later. Also, we were definitely engaged and had most of our wedding planned out, as well as our honeymoon. Please do not listen to them. It's probably his jealous girlfriend who I know is not a model because everyone I know who has met her told me she was ugly.
CaliGuy Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 If this isn't troll bait, you need to see a Counselor. You definitely have issues.
Iron Maiden Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 That person really isn't my ex-fiance, just someone impersonating him. I know because he has facts wrong - he proposed to me a few months after we started dating and bought me a ring, I just didn't accept till much later. Also, we were definitely engaged and had most of our wedding planned out, as well as our honeymoon. Please do not listen to them. It's probably his jealous girlfriend who I know is not a model because everyone I know who has met her told me she was ugly. - Refer to previous statement. I never proposed, I bought you two cheap rings as gifts, nothing more. If you decided to take them as an engagement ring, that's your own illusion. Yes, you had the wedding planned, I didn't... makes you think doesn't it. I never introduced you as my fiance, you'd figure that was a clue. I even asked you why you wore a ring on your ring finger, I thought that was a clue too. You don't pick up on clues very well and you never did. But then again you are so dense, you failed high school and, having gone into university as a mature student, you can't even graduate from the easiest faculty the University of Calgary has to offer. Considering I love Iron Maiden I thought that would be a good sign for you, plus I had the facts right. Just in case you are still living in your world of illusions, here's an email you sent me at work and on my personal account: Hi [iron Maiden], I am sending out my wedding invitations this week (your's is already in the mail), this is just a general inquiry so I can gage how many people are coming. Occasion: [avidtraveller] wedding Where: Phuket, Thailand When: October 5 - November 5 2006 Actual wedding day is October 17 but most people are coming early to help me prepare. My registry is at the Bay, I will post the link shortly. [iron Maiden] - I will be in Thailand (Bangkok) around September to travel. My fiance will not be there, so you can join me until he comes in October. I could get us a Premiere Suite at the resort to stay in. We will be travelling around the world for a year after that for our honeymoon (with Round the World tickets) so if you need to see me during that time, you will have to fly to where I am, and I can let you know at what times I will be alone. This is the resort I am staying at: http://www.banyantree.phuket.com/ I got a great group discount with my work! I know mom would really love to see you there. I hope you can make it! Sorry I cannot accomodate any guests. [Cause your Girlfriend is Asian and I'm a Nazi] [avidtraveller] *end of email* Last time we spoke over 3 years ago I told you: "have a nice life." Now I'm telling you to get out of my life. I despise white supremacists (and all racism), having dating you puts me to shame. Heck, I called your mother "Mom" but I also called my Korean friend's parents "Mom" and "Dad." I was never racist and I never will be. I wont reply again, the end was 3 years ago, maybe you shouldn't let your vanity blind you.
CaliGuy Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 The plot thickens. Iron Maiden: You are TROOPER (pun intended!) Go you!
avidtraveler Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I really doubt that is you Alex especially due to inconsistencies in your facts. You had the honeymoon planned out, I was in charge of the wedding and I had your approval on the church and the dress. You bought the ring for me and I wore it on my ring finger. You said you haven't talked to me in three years then why did you consistenly follow me around after we broke up, asking mutual friends and my uncle and mother about me, and trying to go to the Embassy when you knew I would be there? You followed me around campus numerous times, you asked marc to meet you at my house so you could see me, you even went to my grandmother's funeral just to see me! How low can you get. I am not racist, I just don't see why you would be dating an asian girl, all the white guys I know who date asian girls are losers who can't get a caucasian girl. or maybe I just destroyed you so badly when I dumped you you felt you were only worthy of an asian girl? whatever it is, I'm sorry it had to come to this. "But then again you are so dense, you failed high school and, having gone into university as a mature student, you can't even graduate from the easiest faculty the University of Calgary has to offer." first, sociology is one of the hardest majors at U of C, ask anyone. I am a lot smarter than your current girlfriend and Nicole. didn't you tell me Nicole was one of the stupidest people you ever met? And she was in law school, hmm, tells you something doesn't it. Being in law school = being stupid. Like your current girlfriend. Why are you robbing the cradle anyway? Shouldn't she be at home in her diapers?
blind_otter Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I am not racist, I just don't see why you would be dating an asian girl, all the white guys I know who date asian girls are losers who can't get a caucasian girl. or maybe I just destroyed you so badly when I dumped you you felt you were only worthy of an asian girl? whatever it is, I'm sorry it had to come to this. You're not racist? What? What was that again? Seek therapy, lady.
CaliGuy Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 You're not racist? What? What was that again? Seek therapy, lady. Where's my troll avatar, B_O? This whole thread wreaks of troll bait
blind_otter Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 Where's my troll avatar, B_O? This whole thread wreaks of troll bait Word.... is there something in the water?
Mary3 Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 Wow ! Lets assume for a minute that these two are not trolls and are ( at least the racist girl ) at least one is a stalker . If you really did all this fuc**ed up sh** to this guy and he is replying here , girl you need to go to He** !
amerikajin Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 I think this is the Jerry Springer thread. I'm waiting for the toothless, mullet-wearing boyfriend to come out and reveal himself.
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