catgirl1927 Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 It is really a sad statement when a bunch of strangers over the internet are more supportive and caring than someone in your life. Break up with her. You can do SO much better. Seriously.
NTB Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 well TB everyone here is in full support of you dumping this girl and finding one that will treat you better. question now is are you going to dump her and move on or wait and see what happenes
SuperMonk Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Dude, it's almost over. Her interest in you is hovering around 50-60%. Don't make the same mistake and hope it'll get better. I've been through this and my ex dumped me about a couple weeks after these 'distancing' acts started to happen. Dump her however method you choose (at least by phone) and then no-contact her. I didn't listen to my internet friends or even my real life friends when they knew full well and told me that I should've done it months earlier. I hope you listen to what most of us are saying and not taking the full meal (not a grain of salt) - It's for your own good.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 It is really a sad statement when a bunch of strangers over the internet are more supportive and caring than someone in your life. That's true.
Sassy Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Tan it is obvious from your other posts she is not that into you. You deserve better maybe it is time to break ties with her before she dumps you. I see alot of red flags that she wants to dump you. Not complimenting ,half ass hugs..
kitten chick Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Honestly, I don't think she's the monster that some of you are making her out to be. It's totally a dick move to disengage from a relationship and string the other person along but I don't think it makes her evil. Either way dude, you've known this was heading downhill for a long time from both sides, might as well end it now instead of prolonging it and letting it get ugly.
brashgal Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Big hugs , even if she is a total b*tch, this must be hard.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 Big hugs , even if she is a total b*tch, this must be hard. Well it's not exactly fun, but I'm not in love with her so it also isn't going to leave me crushed. Thanks, nevertheless, though.
alphamale Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 I don't have much respect for people who have no spine for confrontation. Confront your g/f and kick her to the curb. Do it tonite...
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 Hey man, I was raised by an Irish mother. Confrontation is in my blood.
whichwayisup Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Yes, I agree with everything alpha has said, and the others. Tan, it's only a matter of time before she dumps you, so do it first. She is already in that frame of mind, hate to tell you that...Hense the non-sex, the no compliments etc. Alpha is right again if she was sooo into you, she'd be all over you like flies on s***! (I had think about that one for a second as for some strange reason I usually word it wrong so it comes out like s*** on flies!) Anyway, hang in there, this isn't going to be easy either way. Keep posting!
dazedgal Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 I agree with pretty much everyone on the board -- doesn't sound worth it any more, and you definitely deserve someone who's into you. Things were fine but my gf feels the need to tell me every time a guy touches her or hits on her. Does this bother guys to hear about it, or would you rather not know? If the relationship were going well, would you want her to tell you if she's getting hit on? Just curious.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 Does this bother guys to hear about it, or would you rather not know? If the relationship were going well, would you want her to tell you if she's getting hit on? Just curious. If she were telling me because a guy did something over the line or she was uncomfortable or something then I would definitely want her to tell me. But in this case she was telling me from the standpoint of "See, I'm so hot I get hit on all the time." That I don't need to hear.
kitten chick Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 ... But in this case she was telling me from the standpoint of "See, I'm so hot I get hit on all the time." That I don't need to hear. Perhaps she was looking for validation from you that you find her attractive much like you are looking for validation from her to the effect of her finding you to be a great singer.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 Perhaps she was looking for validation from you that you find her attractive much like you are looking for validation from her to the effect of her finding you to be a great singer. I compliment something she's wearing every time we go out. A couple weeks ago she even made a comment in passing that she likes that about me. I'm also smacking her ass or grabbing her all the time when she's over. Trust me, I'm like a girl in how much affection I like to give and receive.
blind_otter Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Perhaps she was looking for validation from you that you find her attractive much like you are looking for validation from her to the effect of her finding you to be a great singer. Maybe so, maybe no -- but he went about letting her know his needs in a much more mature manner. Unless tuberculosis is getting off stage saying, "damn look at all these fine ladies throwing telling me I sound great. Aren't I just fabulous?" Which I can somehow picture, for some reason.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 Maybe so, maybe no -- but he went about letting her know his needs in a much more mature manner. Unless tuberculosis is getting off stage saying, "damn look at all these fine ladies throwing telling me I sound great. Aren't I just fabulous?" Which I can somehow picture, for some reason. I'm not that bad. She has given me a hard time before saying that my attention while singing immediately shifts to whoever is cheering for me. I just matter-of-factly stated that of course that's where my attention will go. I wouldn't do that if my own gf would be cheering for me as much as total strangers are.
blind_otter Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 I'm not that bad. She has given me a hard time before saying that my attention while singing immediately shifts to whoever is cheering for me. I just matter-of-factly stated that of course that's where my attention will go. I wouldn't do that if my own gf would be cheering for me as much as total strangers are. That's funny. I can picture a stoney-faced girlfriend, which you lovingly sing to while ignoring the people who are cheering for you. Um, I think noooooot.
Raven1845 Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Quote: Originally Posted by tb813 I was basically waiting for her to invite me to her new place but she didn't say anything. Finally I asked if she wanted me to come over. Alpha: mistake #2....if she wanted you over she would have initiated it. you come of as very needy here. that is bad. If I hadn't read more about what a b*tch she's been to you, I would have disagreed with this comment, saying that sometimes a woman wants to hear the guy say he wants to get together. Quote: Originally Posted by tb813 Again, I waited to see if she was going to invite me to that but she didn't. So I asked if she wanted me to attend it with her. She said no Alpha: mistake #3....again you look needy and clingy. she would hav invited you had she wanted you there. I don't think you seemed clingy or needy. Quote: Originally Posted by tb813 That night my gf and I were supposed to meet up with her closest guy friend to make up for missing his birthday a few weeks ago. Alpha: You don't need to see her two nites in a row. And most definitely don't make plans with her and her "guy friend". Why would you agree to go out with her and him together??? There's nothing wrong with seeing her two nights in a row. Quote: Originally Posted by tb813 Things were fine but my gf feels the need to tell me every time a guy touches her or hits on her. Alpha: a woman who is very interested in a particular man won't do this. reverse the situation.....if you were very interested in a particular woman woould you tell her about all the other women hitting on you or whom are interested in you?? probably not. There is a possibility that she was telling you this so that you'd feel lucky to be with her. Not in a conceited or "look at me, I'm so hot" way, but in a "I want you to be glad I'm yours" way. If we know that other people find our gf/bf attractive, it can make us want them more. Then again, from the posts I've read, she's been mean to you for awhile. Quote: Originally Posted by tb813 I was frustrated but the lackluster frequency of sex has been an issue with us since the beginning. Alpha: a woman who really like a man will want to f*** him 24/7. period. This is ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!! Quote: Originally Posted by tb813 The usual hug and kiss at the door was replaced with a half-assed, one-arm hug from her as she gathered her bags. Alpha: she's about to show you the door....take the initiative and break up with her first. I f**king HATE the half-assed, one-arm hugs. I agree with Alpha, she may be on her way to showing you the door. I'm sorry you're going through this. Luckily, you say you're not in love with her -- that should make it easier to end it.
blind_otter Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 There is a possibility that she was telling you this so that you'd feel lucky to be with her. Not in a conceited or "look at me, I'm so hot" way, but in a "I want you to be glad I'm yours" way. If we know that other people find our gf/bf attractive, it can make us want them more. Then again, from the posts I've read, she's been mean to you for awhile. I agree with everything you posted but this. Because this is a universally childish way to ask for attention. Blech. People who do this come off as both arrogant and insecure.
Raven1845 Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Originally Posted by Raven1845 There is a possibility that she was telling you this so that you'd feel lucky to be with her. Not in a conceited or "look at me, I'm so hot" way, but in a "I want you to be glad I'm yours" way. If we know that other people find our gf/bf attractive, it can make us want them more. Then again, from the posts I've read, she's been mean to you for awhile. I agree with everything you posted but this. Because this is a universally childish way to ask for attention. Blech. People who do this come off as both arrogant and insecure. Of course it's childish. It's stupid and immature, and it's something I personally would never do . . . but people DO do it, unfortunately, and for the immature reason I stated.
kitten chick Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Well she is what? 23? IMHO, this thread is overly dramatic. Neither are awful human beings here, just two people who are incompatable. And I don't think there's any real question as to why this relationship hasn't ended yet despite the incompatability becoming apparent quite some time ago.
Raven1845 Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 I agree with everything you posted but this. Because this is a universally childish way to ask for attention. Blech. People who do this come off as both arrogant and insecure. In addition, I have unfortunately dated the most arrogant and insecure person in the world (IMHO), so I know how they can operate. And you're right, it's a way of trying to get attention on their part. Tanbark seems to give her a lot of attention from what I've read, but with some people, it's never enough, unfortunately. Then again, she could have just been being a butthole.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 In addition, I have unfortunately dated the most arrogant and insecure person in the world (IMHO), so I know how they can operate. And you're right, it's a way of trying to get attention on their part. Tanbark seems to give her a lot of attention from what I've read, but with some people, it's never enough, unfortunately. Then again, she could have just been being a butthole. Yeah, and I think it also goes along with feeling the need to "humble" me. It's almost as if she wants me to feel like I'm lucky to have her, rather than have us on equal footing. From the very beginning she's told me she has self-esteem issues and her ex--who is a physical trainer--gave her a hard time about her weight. While she could lose a few pounds (hell, so could I for that matter ) she's not fat by any means. That's another thing that bugs me: She always tells me how hard her ex was on her because of her weight, and she also gives herself a hard time, but I've never said anything mean to her about that. In fact, I make sure she knows that I find her beautiful. But then I turn around and ask for a little verbal support for singing and it's a problem. *edit: Oh, and to NT, yeah, you're close: 24.
Pyro Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 IMHO, this thread is overly dramatic. Neither are awful human beings here, just two people who are incompatable. And I don't think there's any real question as to why this relationship hasn't ended yet despite the incompatability becoming apparent quite some time ago. I agree. You have been voicing your indifferences with this girl for quite some time. From what you have posted its obvious that she will not get any better. So why drag a realtionship out that you and everyone else knows will never last? The sooner that you end it, the better that you will feel.
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