PAL06 Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 I'm just after advice/views really. I went out with a girl who I really fell for, but we only lasted 3 months. The relationship ended because she said she did not have the 'spark'. I found this very hard as I thought everything was really good, she even admitted that we got on like a house on fire and when together she felt good, and intimately she had never been with anyone who made her feel more comfortable. Anyway, 4 months later we are still in contact but only through texting/emailing, but she has stated to me that she likes our chit chats, but sees them as nothing more than that. I feel I need to let go now, but finding it really hard. What I find confusing is the fact that she wants to stay in contact and silly things like her texting me just because she drove passed me I find confusing. Why is she finding it hard to let go too? Should I just walk away right now? More generally I would like to know how much importance people put on the 'spark'? Is being in a relationship where absolutely everything seems to be good, even the intimacy, sex etc. when you are together, a sign that things have just become comfortable? does this 'spark' happen when you do think you have meet Mr or Miss Right?
tikigods Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Its hard to let go when you are in contact, any contact with that person, plus you didn't break it off with her. the spark is super important when it comes to a relationship, I think it is the line between a friendship and a relationship
Author PAL06 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 If you both admit that the intimacy part of the relationship is good, and I don't just mean the sex, I mean the showing of affection to each other as well as being very good friends but one admits the 'spark' isn't there, are they possibly looking for too much? Can you become comfortable in a relationship and this means the spark is not 'lit' as there is no excitement?
tikigods Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 you can have sex, without having any feelings towards the other person, I mean look at hookers XD now a good chunk of people will say (and I Am one of them) that something like that is really meant to be with someone that you care about deeply on a real sparky level if you will, but thats not always the case, sometimes a tree is just a tree I have been with my husband for 4 almost 5 years now (married over a year) and each morning I still wake up and feel that "spark" feeling with him, and him with me, its what I think keeps a relationship going since you have that just bond if you will with them. For me the moment that Spark is gone then the relationship is no more
Author PAL06 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 It was not just sex! It was a lot more intimate than that. She actually admitted to me that when she was with me she felt really comfortable and more comfortable than with anyone else she has ever been with and we got on like a house on fire and I am the most caring person she has ever been with. I just think she is looking for too much in my opinion, or with everything else being 'picture perfect' is the missing spark still that important? She hasn't been able to explain to me her reason other than this. Ok she's made her decision, although she still wants to be friends, I think I should just move on.
tikigods Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 The thing is you can be very close to a friend but never ever want to date them. Again I will say YES the spark is important, you can have the most perfect relationship EVER but if you do'nt have that spark then it doesn't matter, that spark like I have said is the driving force in a relationship. Its time to cut her off and let her go, you are dwelling far to much on this, she has moved on and its time that you do it as well
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