Brittanyjean06 Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Long story short, were together for over two years, traumatizing break up, to where I broke up with him.. and he got a new girl friend...Which was complete shock..we broke up in august so I think that makes it 8 months now? psh who knows.. I have gotten alot better, and showed alot of progress...But i am sooo just living in the past... I am starting to bring him up more now and days, and it just aches me up... Thinking about the past is the most hurtful thing I can imagine.. first love.. I know time heals all wounds and on my part, 8 months is just the time to get back on your feet again, God if i feel like this...Lord knows how long it will take to get over him... God it still makes me teary eyed to write this with it still being 8 months...Is it because its my first love? I meen it was good to here that she cheated on him, and killed a cat by throwing it at some one..but the memories are all I have and I can't stop thinking about them... My friends are so used to be not talking about it, that If I did ...it would kind of be awkward..but they know im secretely hurting, uhhhh ????????/
sick of it Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 brit, i just want to let you know im exactly the same. im 23 and she dumped me after 5.5 yrs. it still hurts its been about 10 months. i still get teary, i still think all the time, i still miss her. she was my first love also. shes with someone else and im told about it. im told how hes getting everything we ever talked about. and that hurts because though i can share it with someone else, i dont want to, i wanted it with her. i dont talk about it with friends anymore either. they know im still ina lot of pian, that im not the same person they knew. this is the only place i talk about it really. just wanted to let you know youre not alone.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted April 3, 2006 Author Posted April 3, 2006 Man I am so sorry you feel the same hurt that I do, You know first loves are a pain in the butt to get over, from what I hear, but why woulden't they be ya know? " First loves " First real heart ache" I bring it up to some people every now and than , and their like " YOOR NOT OVER HIM YET"... I'm like pshh you have no idea man. What you can do is try to look at the bad, and we all know our ex's weren't perfect, and eaither are we..Everyone tells me we fall in love again, It's this struggle right here that will make the other person so much more worthy of our time than our ex's. It hurts, I know I know,hahaha Im giving advice on my on forum thats funny. Hold done to hope though, It's not only a painful process, but a weird one..a crazy one. stay stronggg
dprelz Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 I'm going through the exact same thing you are, and it happened at the exact same time as yours(august). I don't even want to post on here anymore, because I feel pathetic that I'm not fully over it and it has been so long. I find myself living in the past to. I know she's not perfect, but I really truly loved her with everything I had, all I want is her. Sometimes I think it's just part of life to want something so unbelievably bad and not get it. I can't come up with better logic as to why this would happen to someone. It is easily the longest and most intense pain I've ever had in my life. This is coming from someone who has had many physical injuries and surgeries. You're not alone ;]
2020vision Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Unfortunatley, the above mentioned is way too true. I too, have gone through (I believe I am at the tail end of my pain) the loss of a first love. It sucks REALLY bad at first because thats all you have known as far as love is concerned and you have never gone through a serious break up before so you don't know what to do..Well, my advice comes from my experience, so it might not apply to everyone but just thought I would throw some stuff out there. I thought at first that denial would help me overcome my hurt of the breakup. I would tell my friends "I am so over him, He is such a loser" blah blah blah And they were happy and they started to believe me that I was over him and I almost believed it too, then realized I was lying to myself. My advice, your friends are suppose to be there for you, take advantage of that if you are missing him. I had to be honest with my friends after about 2 months of complete and total denial that I was really not over him. My best friend was pissed at me because I wasn't over such a horrible person. but she soon got over it and has been there for me to talk through anything I need help with. I meen it was good to here that she cheated on him, and killed a cat by throwing it at some one..but the memories are all I have and I can't stop thinking about them... I have also had experiences similiar to yours. My ex is seriously a loser. I recently found out he moved in with his new g/f of about 4 months mind you....Anyways, I have a mutual friend who knows his new g/f and I have found out just about every dirty detail about this girl. She is ugly, she is chubby, she is loud and obnoxious ....etc... I also found out the reason she moved in with my ex is because she got kicked out of her parent's house.. at age 25! I also found out that he was fired from yet another job and is now working at a grocery store...what a catch huh? At first, I was so ecstatic and enjoyed sounding out a whole bunch of evil laugh's to myself..Then I realized that while this made me feel good to hear about crappy stuff like this about his new girl and how she pales in comparison to me, it was only temporary. Hearing about things like this doesn't heal your wounds, just puts a band aid on them. I suggest that you just stop letting yourself hear about anything about him, good or bad...out of sight out of mind..and out of earshot out of mind too! Since I have stopped letting myself hear any information about him, I suprise myself with how much I Do not think about him. I just start living my own life for me ,for a change, and he has nothing to do with it.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted April 6, 2006 Author Posted April 6, 2006 Hey thanks so much for the advice! I've heard literally every type of trick to help me get over him, but I meen the only thing that I need is time, It is difficult, and the dreams make me wake up with a heart ache, and I can't stand how eerry it feels to really lose some one, and with it being this long ..I really know how long it might actually take to get over him. But your right, It's my first experience through a break up, and believe me it sucks more than I can put in too words, those memories or what gets me, and everything just feels like sh*t to me sometimes. I've made it this far, and I hope it is possible to get over your first loves. I can't wait to see the other side to this horrible process, CAN'T WAIT!!!
MadDog Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 The first time is always the hardest because you experience all these strong emotions for the first time and you think it's so special that you'll never feel that way with anyone else. The truth is that you will definately experience it again with someone else. Sadly, the only thing special about the first time in most cases is that it's the first time. When you have more experience down the line, you might realize that it wasn't even that great.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted April 7, 2006 Author Posted April 7, 2006 Yeah I understand that perfectly! thats why time is such a great virtue in a process like this..I think falling in love at such a young age Is pretty wonderful, It's just the highschool environment, sneaking out part was always special and fun to do! Now the relationship could have been alot better on my part, First loves are crazy, and their even crazyier when It's with some one who is kind of skyco haha. I think the pain will go away, when some one new comes along, I'm not looking, because it would just be rebound and lord knows I coulden't have real true feelings for any one yet. I hate how everyone makes out the first loves to be something that you'll never get over, I meen there are stories I hear to where It's been five years and people are not yet over them..I don't know but It's a really SH*TTY feeling I meen it still saddness me that its over, thats really hard to believe.. and the whole memories/past thing kinda haunts me in A sick way, but if it was love I woulden't have cried so many times. thanks ya'll
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