zara Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 ok, about three months after my suggesting it - my ex turns round last night and says, as if it was HIS idea, "why don't we have no contact for three months and then see how we still feel about each other". He said that will "give me time to sort my head out" although he won't actaully have a face to face conversatoin with me to discuss this because he finds it difficult to be harsh with me in person and much easier when he's not looking at me. What concerns me though is that he said "3 months will give me time to sort my head out" - we split up in November last year, he sould know how he feels by now and i thought the silent calls and numerous encounters we've had made that clear, but he also said "I can't promise i won't see anyone else in that period" - at which point i told him i couldn't discuss this now and hung up. I know he started to see someone else but it whithered out cuz he kept calling and seeing me, but i don't want to be hanging aorund for 3 months only to have him call and say "Sorry, i'm seeing someone else" since there are an endless parade of women around him but i'm damned fussy and can honestly say no one has interested me in the past 5 months. So what i was wondering was this: is there some sort of 'no contact' guide i can refer to to set some groundrules for our doin this if i decide to go ahead? I think under the circumstances that he "wants to sort his head out" that a rule should certainly be tht we don't see other people cuz that will just confuse matters, but to me it feels as though he desperately wants to go out and find a replacement rather than to genuinely think about how he feels about me. Whereas i've been figuring that out for the past five months and firmly rejecting the people who have pursued me because i'm just not interested. Sorry, this is kinda long and rambling but hope someone can help!
littlekitty Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954 No Foolin's Guide to No Contact. Also look up posts by No Foolin and CaliGuy. Both are the masters of this game.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Try this. I like No foolin and Caliguy's posts, but Lost wrote the advice which helped me the most: The lost guide to no contact v5
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Version 4 of the guide has more debate: Lost guide v4
Author zara Posted April 4, 2006 Author Posted April 4, 2006 Wow! Brilliant! thanks! that tells me everything i need to know! We spoke yesterday and agreed NC for 4-6weeks, during which time neither of us will see other people. we'll just get on with our lives and see how we feel. Thanks for that - i knew The 'Shack would have the answer!
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