More drama . . .

[the_alchemyst]

Yeah, like I really need it.

 

So, here I am trying to deal with my current break-up, wondering if he misses me or if he even thinks about me, and so on.

 

Okay.

 

I found out last night that one of my exbf's best friends . . . likes me. AHH!!

 

He has been so supportive of me during this break-up. I mean, we really don't talk about it or my exbf much; we spoke about it maybe the first 2 days or so, but that's really it. In fact, the night we broke up, I was really sad and messed up, and he knew this, and had no problem coming all the way to my house to take me for a walk and to try to comfort me.

 

For these past two weeks I have been speaking with him a lot via messenger (we stay up every night until 6 AM or so . . . I guess we both have the same sleep problem) and ocassionally over the phone. Basically, we have been talking waaay more since my break-up.

 

He is really nice and kind to me--sometimes he makes me feel kind of bad because he seems to see so much potential in me and really makes me out to be better than I really am . . . so . . . *sigh*

 

Well, as I said already, last night I found out that he actually does like me as more than friends, but is too scared to tell me anything for fear of rejection and also . . . because of my exbf. They have been friends since they were 14 years old, and well, they are really good friends.

 

And now I'm all sorts of confused. I feel really, really bad because I don't want to cause discordance between them.

 

Oh, I just want to hide under a rock.

 

PS: I still have no heard from the stupid exbf. Nothing! Although I did find out he actually did not erase me from his messenger. That made me happy. And yet that is so stupid. Wow. *smacks self

[hurtbeyondwords]

It's very thoughtful of you to think about their friendship... but, his friend is old enough to make his own decisions. You need to think of yourself at this point. Don't deny yourself something because of someone that didn't care enough to think of you during your breakup. Life is full of opportunities but should never be full of regret.

[KittenMoon]

I disagree! It's pretty lousy of him to have designs on you over his friend (your ex).

 

If you date him, you will most likely ruin THEIR friendship. So then you have a broken relationship AND a broken friendship, for the price of something that may be nothing more than infatuation.

 

There are billions more men in the world w/ no connection to your ex. Pursue THEM.

 

Plus if you see your exes friend, he'll just think its a revenge thing.

[hurtbeyondwords]

I never denied the possibility of a downfall but you also cant make decisions based on someone that would not consider you.

[johan]

You didn't say whether you are interested.

[the_alchemyst]

Ah, let me clear some things up:

 

I have known this guy (the friend . . . we'll call him "D") for about 2 years. Before the beginning to this year, we didn't talk very much because he is a rather shy guy and because I'm just not all that talkative, either. However, this January I put it upon myself to really befriend him because I remembered that at one point, my exbf (we'll call him "C") told me that he would like it if I befriended his friends. Well, as some of you know, I have a HUGE hate for several of his other "good" friends. So, only D and some other guys were, well, the only ones I tried to make an effort to talk to. I succeeded in these cases, but admittedly, I became better friends with D than with the three others or so.

 

The thing is that I found out he thought I was very pretty since he first met me two years ago. Apparently, he also thinks highly of me, since he thinks me very smart, nice, thoughtful, and so on. Now since he has been speaking to me more, I guess you can say he has also gotten to know me on a more personal level, and if he thought these things back then, then I can only imgine he has a better image of me now.

 

I really don't want to cause problems between them. I'm stupidly aloof and had no idea he felt this way for me. However, now that I found out, I feel flattered, to be honest, because he himself is an amazing guy, but I feel really bad because I don't want to be the cause for their friendship to end. I honestly believe that D is the best friend C has, but he is to stupid to realize that. He genuinely cares for him, unlike the other idiot bastards he is hanging out with now. He's only with them because they are a bunch of good-for-nothing alcoholics, and I guess C is newly in love with alcohol now. He is so blind.

 

What do I feel? I really like him, but I don't think I like him like that. He is amazing, really, and sometimes, quite honestly, I wish C had more of his personality instead of being the stubborn ass he can be. But even so, I am . . . still in love with C, faults and all.

 

I am a big idiot because I really can't see myself with anyone else. Even though D is great, my heart yearns for C.

 

And now I'm pissed because it seems all these guys like me now! I don't want them to like me! I feel like the one I want is the only one I can't have.

 

Oh, and just to add to the irony, I'm "B" and I have a friend who's "A" who likes "D."

 

ABCD. Oh, yeah. Stupid fates!

[KittenMoon]

I have a pretty basic philosphy for these sort of things: Don't sh*t where you eat.

 

And since you don't seem to be interested in this other guy, why is this a problem? You are not obligated to return affection just because a guy likes you, even if he is super duper nice. (although I seem to know lots of girls who live like this)

 

I say, remain friends, make it subtle but clear you are not interested at all and find a new pond to fish in.

 

Also, you should probably stick with getting over your current break-up first.