How to recover from defeat.

[Lights]

Rejection being an off-chance occurence is one thing. What does one do if it's almost all the experience one has?

 

If it's got to the point where one (however subconsciously) expects to be rejected (both directly and indirectly) in trying to find dates, how does one get past this, short of cheap psych-up tricks that crumble to nothingness the moment one gets distracted or is off-guard or is in the heat of the moment?

 

The most direct solution I could come up with would be to arrange a massive array of real successes that would outweigh the previous experiences. Unfortunately I haven't any idea how to do that, and the mindset is working against me even if I knew what would work to create the successes.

 

It's gotten to the point where sometimes I think "Why waste my time and remaining emotional resources? I don't need to keep banging my head on a wall."

 

What are good ways to cause oneself to start expecting success, even if one's previous experience was nearly decades of almost nothing but rejection?

[MadDog]

What are good ways to cause oneself to start expecting success, even if one's previous experience was nearly decades of almost nothing but rejection?

 

Just dust yourself and try again. That's all it comes down to. You need to evaluate why you're getting so many rejections. I'd say getting about 1/3 to 1/2 of girls to say yes is normal (the ones that don't tend to have boyfriends.) If you ask out 20 girls and all 20 of them say no, you need to figure out if perhaps your approach is the problem. How do you normally ask out a girl?

 

MD

[Lights]

Just dust yourself

I'm not sure what you mean by this.

 

and try again. That's all it comes down to.

Trying again blindly and diffidently, while being self-sabotaged by expectation of rejection, is exactly the act of banging my own head on the wall that I mentioned before.

 

I'd like to know how to alter my own expectation of the results (without cheap psych-up tricks), so that people get a feeling that I'm someone who expects to have his overtures accepted. I am asking about how to overcome a perception that people have beaten into my subconscious and have that same mental faculty work in my favor.

 

The self-sabotage that this expectation can have unfortunate consequences in all relationships, and it can be nasty in that one doesn't realize one is doing until too late (or even not realize at all!); even if it's something as as apparently trivial as being a split-second too slow to return a smile from a friendly new co-worker in another department, it can make a difference in a first impression.

 

You need to evaluate why you're getting so many rejections.

How is this evaluation done? I need specifics; everyone loves to talk about how people should learn from their mistakes, but it's actually very difficult for me to find out what I did wrong, if anything.

 

It's not like I get a "Sorry, I only talk to people who say...", or a "Get real! I might have actually considered meeting you again if you'd done...", or that I hear out in the distance "Hey you in the red! I'd have approached you and possibly asked you out if you were smart enough to have done...".

 

I'd say getting about 1/3 to 1/2 of girls to say yes is normal (the ones that don't tend to have boyfriends.) If you ask out 20 girls and all 20 of them say no, you need to figure out if perhaps your approach is the problem. How do you normally ask out a girl?

 

MD

 

It's been a long time since I've gotten far enough to ask anyone out. I'm having enough trouble getting them to respond even to a friendly hi, or to an attempt to start conversation. Very few even respond to a hi, and most consider an attempt to strike up conversation as an irritating imposition instead of something fun and flattering.

 

If you're going to ask why I do not simply dispense with conversation entirely and ask them out on sight, it's because I don't do that anymore--I've never in my life been taken seriously asking anyone out immediately.

[Lights]

Can anyone else help?

 

Thanks!

[Lights]

I could use any help from anyone here who's knowledgeable about these things (preferably someone who's overcome it, especially from an environment which isn't normally friendly).

[dfly2006]

Lights,

 

If it helps even a little, I'm 42 and am in the same boat. Every girl Iv'e liked since high school is automaticly attacted to somebody tall. I'm 5-7 and I know in the things I've read, David DeAngelo etc, says to act self confident. What do I have to be confident about? Nothing. See my other posts. I really like this girl from work, and I could have told you who she would fall for before she even saw him because A: He;s tall and, B: He thinks he's pretty special. The question comes down to how much of a B.S. artist are you interested in being? That could be the key. Learn to talk alot of crap. Act real cocky, bordering on being an a**hole.

Instead of feeling too sorry for myself I have taken the huge crush I have and tried to funnel the energy over to the gym.

[CaliGuy]

Can anyone else help?

 

Thanks!

 

Look up David DeAngelo's stuff. You may have a fundamental problem and he has a bunch of material that may be beneficial to you.

[CaliGuy]

Lights,

 

If it helps even a little, I'm 42 and am in the same boat. Every girl Iv'e liked since high school is automaticly attacted to somebody tall. I'm 5-7 and I know in the things I've read, David DeAngelo etc, says to act self confident. What do I have to be confident about? Nothing. See my other posts. I really like this girl from work, and I could have told you who she would fall for before she even saw him because A: He;s tall and, B: He thinks he's pretty special. The question comes down to how much of a B.S. artist are you interested in being? That could be the key. Learn to talk alot of crap. Act real cocky, bordering on being an a**hole.

Instead of feeling too sorry for myself I have taken the huge crush I have and tried to funnel the energy over to the gym.

 

David also teaches that once our confidence is back up to healthy levels our taste in women may start to change as well. We'll be more attracted to people that are mentally and emotionally more suited for a healthy relationship.

 

Would you be happier with a hot looking woman who's a headache to deal with or an average looking woman who meets all your needs?

 

If you don't love yourself, if you aren't happy with who you are, then how can you expect someone else to feel the same about you?

 

It all starts with you first.

[MadDog]

Lights,

 

If it helps even a little, I'm 42 and am in the same boat. Every girl Iv'e liked since high school is automaticly attacted to somebody tall. I'm 5-7 and I know in the things I've read, David DeAngelo etc, says to act self confident. What do I have to be confident about? Nothing. See my other posts. I really like this girl from work, and I could have told you who she would fall for before she even saw him because A: He;s tall and, B: He thinks he's pretty special. The question comes down to how much of a B.S. artist are you interested in being? That could be the key. Learn to talk alot of crap. Act real cocky, bordering on being an a**hole.

Instead of feeling too sorry for myself I have taken the huge crush I have and tried to funnel the energy over to the gym.

 

I'm curious. Why didn't you just talk a lot of crap and act like a cocky a**h*** to get the girl then?

[TheSwordfish]

I'm 6 feet 57, are self confident but I still have to face weird behaviour when it comes to girls. Being someone that teases poeple as second nature (being cocky isn't that hard for me) you'd think I would have an easy time. Initially they like me, but where do you go from there? (No need to answer this, rhetorical question I guess)

 

I think rejection is something you should laugh at. Go out with a friend and try to get as many rejections as possible. Have fun doing so. I hardly get rejected, but when a girl canceled a date I got annoyed because I am not used to that (but when I started laughing about it, and the way I handled it, things became rather easy). Get used to rejection by using it as a way to have a good time. (And if you use crazy stuff to get rejected, you might end up not being rejected).

 

An example of a thingy I thought up in a silly mode, wich works wonders. I start chatting with girls and make them laugh by being a bit of an ass (flirt a bit) and then I say: "You might think you look good, but you don't know anything about fashion, do you?""And then they appear really shocked. Then I tell them that they look crap because they don't have a rubber ducky on their coat. (After that I show them my cool coat with a really small rubber ducky on the sleeve, its really silly but I think its funny).

 

Sound slike a good way to get rejected, doesn't it? Well it got me five phonenumbers. Danger is that they fall for my ducky, instead of me.....

[amerikajin]

I might be the kind of person who could give you some advice, because I always used to get rejected - didn't even have a serious girlfriend until I was 25.

 

As people will tell you, the first weapon in your arsenal must be confidence. Now that can come in more than one form. You have the strong, quiet confidence that women just pick up on instinctively; or you have the outgoing, bravado, gregarious confidence that can put a group of women at ease. Believe it or not, sometimes, the former is more desireable than the latter. I'd say that on average, more women will respond to gregarious guys, but some women are turned off by those types and will look for the guy who doesn't talk so much. But the one common denominator is confidence. It is evident in how they speak, how they walk, how they live their lives, and how they approach women. It's not cockiness, it's just a way of saying "This is who I am, I like who I am, and I think once you get to know me, you'll end up liking me too".

 

Beyond that, one big help is to recognize when you've actually got a chance with a woman (i.e. recognizing the signs of interest).

 

Things like...

 

1) Prolonged eye-contact - not a death stare, but holding eye contact for more than a second, preferably two or three seconds, indicates curiosity on her part, and possibly it's a sign of physical attraction.

 

2) A great big smile is also another sign of interest - in fact, that's like an invitation to a party, so act on it.

 

3) After that, there are the signs of real interest, such as when she starts playing with her hair or fidgeting with her hands when she's talking to you.

 

4) She starts suggesting future activities together. This one's big because it is dropping a hint that you two might make a nice couple.

 

5) But the greatest of all signs of interest is when she starts touching you - that's when you know you're in the game. A woman will almost never touch a guy she doesn't at least have some attraction to, unless that person's deep into the friends zone. Obviously, if you've just met the person and she touches you, you're not in the friends zone.

 

How do you create interest?

 

Well, cocky and funny is one technique that I use but I use it only after I have gotten to know something about the person. I don't just break out with it because I think teasing's one of those things you should do with people you're friendly with. I'll get back to DeAngelo's cocky and funny technique, but first things first...

 

I think the most important thing you can do to start off with a woman you're interested in is...just get to know everything you can about her. Ask her questions. Not goofy stuff, but just ask questions about her, questions that show a genuine interest in her and what kind of person she is. Try to get inside her head a little bit. Just ask basic things, but with a purpose in mind - getting to know every detail you can about this woman. And be damn sure to make a mental note of things, so when she tells you she likes Italian food and can't stand Chinese food, you'll know that a Chinese dinner might end up being your last date with her. Also, when you meet, you can occasionally throw out some details at her that you remember from a conversation two weeks ago. "So, how's your brother (name) doing?" I bet she'd be surprised as hell that you remember she even had a brother, much less his name and what he does for a living." Now what you'll want to do over the course of the first two dates or so is to start thinking of a few things you can talk about to build a connection (i.e. common interests). If you're nervous about speaking, then hey, just let her do the talking - trust me, she wants to talk more than you anyway. Just make sure you listen.

 

Cocky and funny comes later when you're teasing her about how picky an eater she is or something along those lines - something that's becoming evident now that you understand her as a person, and something that's maybe a touch negative but something you can both have a laugh about.

[TheSwordfish]

Jin You are right in so many ways. (On the touching part, some girls aren't quik to touch, so as a man you can use playfull touching to make her touch you. Girls never jump away when I touch them. Girls have an environmental personal bubble, she'll only let you in there if she's interested, or at least trusts you, in some way)

 

The part of being the outgoing, confident guy. Well, I was selected by a psychology students in a bar, they wanted to ask me questions because I fit into their profile of a certain type of person. I like being the center of attention, but for some girls that can be a turn off in the long run. Confidence can come in so many ways. I can easily speak to a big crowd without getting nervous, but in other areas I might be less confident. I think being happy with, adn not ashamed of yourself should be enough.

[amerikajin]

I think that the biggest turn-off for women isn't a guy lacking confidence, it's a guy who's being an obvious fake. Sure, women want confidence, but they also know that some guys have more of it than others, and if they sense that you're not a complete wuss bag, and that you've got some good qualities overall, they'll give you a chance to build some of that confidence - and might even help you a little bit along the way.

 

I would keep my previous post in mind, and I would then start practicing. And remember that it's okay to fail along the way. If you fail, think about where the date went wrong and remember it for future reference. Look at the big picture and be positive. Remember, if one opportunity disappears, that just means you've got an opportunity with another woman.

[IWalkAlone]

amerikajin:

 

I releate very well to what light is saying so I'll ask:

 

I understand the power of confidence, but from where do you draw confidence when all your experience teaches you to be not confident? I feel confident about some things, such as my job and my mountian biking, but there is little in my experience with women upon which to base confidence in that area.

 

When when you fail, how can you tell where it when wrong, and what the mistake was? In many cases I don't have a clue, and the woman will rarely tell you.

 

And yes, sometimes I can identify mistakes, but why are they fatal? I hear women complain all the time about what dolts there boyfriends are, getting too drunk, cheating with other women, insulting them, showing up 45 minutes late for a date, etc, yet they're still with them. Why are the minor faux pauxs I might do worse than those things?

[TheSwordfish]

I'm not saying that being confident is not an act. Its about being comfortable with yourself.

 

Looking confident is something else. As I have to look confident in my job I use some small things to make sure I look that way. I walk upstraight, have certain poses that make me look confident. Seemingly minor things like making more then just a bit of eye contact, have an open stature when talking with a girl, introducing yourself properly, smiling while doing so, will make things go way smoother.

 

Something I use quite often is a second introduction. The first time you meet someone you're atracted to, you will look into each others eyes while introducing each other, and most will not hear anything being said. I just tell her that I didn't catch her name and do another introduction repeating her name (holding her hand a bit longer and still making eye contact). Smiling while doing so of course. By doing so, you make sure she remembers your name, and you let her know you want to remember hers

 

I think tricks don't always work though, but I think its the way you do it that makes you look confident. If you don't get all shy and are having fun (you're not being funny for her but you're being funny to give yourself a good laugh) most girls will like talking with you.

 

Had a really funny converstaion with a friend yesterday, about the things I did when I bump into a pretty girl. We bumped into his sister and a friend of hers while having the conversation, and I (accidentally) did all those things I told him about while talking with his sister. He couldn't stop laughing....

[TheSwordfish]

Fatal mistakes.... well you know what. Making a mistake is fine when you've been together long enough. Compare it to a good friend having a bad day. You can forgive them easily because you have history together. If you aren't past a certain stage, she will easily let you go for making a mistake.

 

Lots of girls think that you should become friends (not platonic friends, but they just want to get to know you) before you can have an actual relationship. Making mistakes before you have a strong bond is deadly. (If you tell her you're sleeping with your cousine who lives in a trailerpark, after three dates, she'll dump you, if you tell her that when you have been together for a few months she might even forgive you.... well, its an exageration.)

[amerikajin]

I understand the power of confidence, but from where do you draw confidence when all your experience teaches you to be not confident?

 

The key is not to worry about how confident you are or how confident you're not. One problem we sometimes run into as men is that we actually get a bit too metaphysical with respect to our relationships; we see ourselves dating in the third person, and we try to analyze and over correct.

 

A typical example of this would be something as simple as deciding whether to pay for our date or not. You'll go out, offer to pay, and then if she declines, you might think 'Oh man, maybe she doesn't like me - she doesn't want to be indebted to me?' In fact, she's probably just saying, let's just take things slowly and get to know each other before we start getting to formal here.

 

Another example might be a lack of affection. Some women are just a bit slow to warm up like that; others will jump right out of the gate. But we assume that if they don't that there's something wrong here, when in reality there's probably nothing wrong at all.

 

I think the best way to get over a lack of confidence with women is to 1) be patient - cause this process takes time, and 2) be real; be who you want to be, within certain parameters which we've already mentioned in this thread. Just get to know the girl first and I think things will take care of themselves on their own.

 

When when you fail, how can you tell where it when wrong, and what the mistake was? In many cases I don't have a clue, and the woman will rarely tell you.

 

You look at how she behaves, and you evaluate her behavior along the timeline of your interaction with her. If she's giving you the signs of interest early on in a relationship but now no longer gives you the time of day, you have to think carefully about when her behavior changed.

 

A prime example might be, you meet a girl at a club one night and you hit it off with her. You think you're in - so much so that you call her the next day. You have a nice chat again, and you think that you're headed towards a date with her. Then you call the day after that, and she doesn't answer her phone. You call yet again - still no answer. Now, what do you think happened here? That's right, you called too early and too often, and you came across as 'needy'. You're out. When I was younger and had no clue with women, this happened on more than one occasion to me.

 

Another example might be, you actually get a girl out on a date. You're even having a good time and she's laughing at your jokes and touching your arm while you're eating together. Then you pop a joke to her involving some sexual innuendo, you laugh...she doesn't. She gives you the "It's getting late" line, gives you a peck on the cheek and says I'll call you sometime and runs into her house. She thinks you're out for one thing. Game over.

 

You look at her behavior.

 

And yes, sometimes I can identify mistakes, but why are they fatal?

 

Their boyfriends know how to create attraction, while you're still learning. But dude, trust me, you can learn to be more attractive. You'd be surprised at what you could pull off with a little self control.

 

The mistakes that you're making aren't nearly as fatal as you think, and more to the point, the little faux pas you're referring to aren't really doing you in as much as you may believe; it's that when you make those mistakes, you're reinforcing a general impression that a woman may have about you - that you're insecure, or you're too weak to stand up for yourself, or whatever they might think. One faux pas doesn't create that impression, but they can definitely reinforce a negative impression that already exists. First impressions don't necessarily kill your chances; final ones do.

[Lights]

I might be the kind of person who could give you some advice, because I always used to get rejected - didn't even have a serious girlfriend until I was 25.

 

As people will tell you, the first weapon in your arsenal must be confidence. It's not cockiness, it's just a way of saying "This is who I am, I like who I am, and I think once you get to know me, you'll end up liking me too".

Great! Thanks for offering your help, and much congratulations on your having solved the problem. How specifically is this sort of confidence achieved?

 

1) Prolonged eye-contact - not a death stare, but holding eye contact for more than a second, preferably two or three seconds, indicates curiosity on her part, and possibly it's a sign of physical attraction.

I believe you, but in practice this hasn't been very applicable. Interactions in general are very fast-paced. In many cases taking the time spending seconds waiting for eye contact has resulted in me and my intended interlocutor already having passed each other by, or me or the other otherwise having rendered self or the other out of range. Oftentimes, if I cannot say at least something quickly and on the spot (assuming any physical distance is already covered), the woman in question is gone.

 

2) A great big smile is also another sign of interest - in fact, that's like an invitation to a party, so act on it.

 

3) After that, there are the signs of real interest, such as when she starts playing with her hair or fidgeting with her hands when she's talking to you.

 

4) She starts suggesting future activities together. This one's big because it is dropping a hint that you two might make a nice couple.

 

5) But the greatest of all signs of interest is when she starts touching you - that's when you know you're in the game.

I haven't encountered any of these yet--I suppose I'll report back later.

 

How do you create interest?

...just get to know everything you can about her....Just ask basic things, but with a purpose in mind - getting to know every detail you can about this woman.

This I do, provided that a conversation has been successfully started and the woman is responsive enough to continue it. (It takes two to tango.)

 

When when you fail, how can you tell where it when wrong, and what the mistake was? In many cases I don't have a clue, and the woman will rarely tell you.

You look at how she behaves, and you evaluate her behavior along the timeline of your interaction with her.

I don't doubt the effectiveness of this in a relationship or more prolonged interaction. Oftentimes there's minimal information to evaluate, though. How do I tell what to evaluate when a greeting or other attempt to strike up a conversation is cut off on the spot? How does one tell what went wrong where when one suffers indirect rejection from never getting approached?

 

I think rejection is something you should laugh at. Go out with a friend and try to get as many rejections as possible. Have fun doing so...Get used to rejection by using it as a way to have a good time.

This where I'm kind of lost. How does one have fun getting rejections? What is there to laugh about? Maybe I'm not masochistic enough, but I have to ask:

How is being ignored outright by all the nearby women fun?

How is being walked right past as I try to say hi or comment on something supposed to be fun?

How is receiving an irritated stare and a verbal brushoff instead of a happy, flattered look and some fun conversation in response to a conversation attempt supposed to be a good time?

How is having one's invitations to a date being considered a joke or unreasonable supposed to be fun?

 

Something I use quite often is a second introduction.

How did you manage to see the women in question a second time, if you had not already got their phone numbers nor already arranged first dates during the first meeting?

[TheSwordfish]

Second introduction (shake hands and say names) within the first meeting. Bet she still remembers you when you call her up.

 

Well just being ignored at first sight wouldn't be fun indeed. On the other hand you have to make it fun, otherwise you will never get past it. My examples would be more like, going over to a girl that is making eyecontact and then say something stupid, leading to rejection or getting ditched because you were an a**h***, and then talk about it with friends and laugh about your own imcopetence in communicating with woman.

 

Maybe you're to quikly asking her number. Just talk a little longer, ask her questions and tease her a bit. Before she'll give her number she'll have to trust you (a little).

 

You might have to consider that you should look for signs that she has time to talk. Someone walking by in a bar isn't ready for a nice chitchat. But someone sitting in a train or waiting at the busstop is.

[amerikajin]

I believe you, but in practice this hasn't been very applicable. Interactions in general are very fast-paced. In many cases taking the time spending seconds waiting for eye contact has resulted in me and my intended interlocutor already having passed each other by, or me or the other otherwise having rendered self or the other out of range. Oftentimes, if I cannot say at least something quickly and on the spot (assuming any physical distance is already covered), the woman in question is gone.

 

"Intended interlocutor"??? Dude, stay down on the layman's level when dealing with the subject of romance; this ain't the GRE. No offense...

 

Anyway...I don't know you, but it seems as though you might have some anxiety about meeting women in general. You should know that many women will not approach a man; they will try to send subtle and occasionally not-so-subtle signals that they are interested in someone, but they will typically wait for the man to start 'coming on' to them.

 

Now this next part's a bit touchy 'cause I always enter this area at the risk of offending people. But the truth is, some people are more beautiful than others. Some people have more talent, personality, charisma and charm than others. In short, some men are just more attractive than others, and it's a fact of life. The key here is to help you get the most with what you have, not to compete against other guys or to go out of your way to impress a woman. There are some women - well, actually a lot of women - you will not be able to get no matter how hard you try - and that's even if you're physically attractive. But that's okay because you can get some decent women along the way, and there's always more than one. Never settle, just be realistic at the same time. Focus on the ones who show an interest in you and forget the rest.

 

How do you create interest?

 

It helps if you lead an interesting life (i.e. hobbies, job, etc). You seem like an intelligent person, so you've got a leg up on the competition. You seem like you could make for some good conversation.

[SmoochieFace]

This where I'm kind of lost. How does one have fun getting rejections? What is there to laugh about? Maybe I'm not masochistic enough, but I have to ask:

How is being ignored outright by all the nearby women fun?

How is being walked right past as I try to say hi or comment on something supposed to be fun?

How is receiving an irritated stare and a verbal brushoff instead of a happy, flattered look and some fun conversation in response to a conversation attempt supposed to be a good time?

How is having one's invitations to a date being considered a joke or unreasonable supposed to be fun?

 

I'm glad you posted this, Lights. I am curious about this as well.

[HungryDan]

Greetings Friend!

 

"Why waste my time and remaining emotional resources? I don't need to keep banging my head on a wall."

 

I think you have begun to recognise the problem. Let go. Do you think you can ever be any more whole than you are right now? As you have recognised, these fake ego-boosting pep talks only add to the problem. Your mind is the source of your pain, it has created this problem. When your head is hurting from banging it on a wall, the only way to stop the pain is to stop banging it. When you do that all feels much better. Your happiness does not depend on anything external like getting a girl. Let go and accept yourself as you are and everything else will fall into place.

 

Kind regards.

 

HungryDan

[dgiirl]

Lights, I'm curious. Do you have any female friends?

[TheSwordfish]

Strange thing is, I get surrounded by females lately. I messed up in the buss, was talking to one girl at the busstop, then a girl in the bus, and they we're fighting for attention, but worst part was, the girl I met a day earlier walked in as wel (and I kinda like her) so I got into an awkward situation today. Kinda messed up by trying to be cool, but forgot its the same line every day.... Asked multiple girls on one lin for phonenumebers... Another reason to laugh about myself

[Lights]

How do you create interest?

It helps if you lead an interesting life (i.e. hobbies, job, etc). You seem like an intelligent person, so you've got a leg up on the competition. You seem like you could make for some good conversation.

Thanks, Amerikajin.

 

Well just being ignored at first sight wouldn't be fun indeed. On the other hand you have to make it fun, otherwise you will never get past it.

How specifically do I do that? As I mentioned, I'm not exactly a masochist, so being ignored outright, brushed off, or the like isn't fun in and of itself, and I don't have the advantage of supportive local friends to share tales of my incompetence with, as your recommendation suggested.

 

It's really once again the original question. How do I make this high-percentage enough and fun enough that I can not only find it pleasant, but also be able to expect reasonable success instead of expecting rejection?

 

Maybe you're to quikly asking her number. Just talk a little longer, ask her questions and tease her a bit. Before she'll give her number she'll have to trust you (a little).

You might have to consider that you should look for signs that she has time to talk. Someone walking by in a bar isn't ready for a nice chitchat. But someone sitting in a train or waiting at the busstop is.

I can ask questions and so on if a conversation develops.

In my experiences, there are no places where someone is likely to be ready for a nice chitchat. I'm left doing whatever I can wherever I can.

Your happiness does not depend on anything external like getting a girl. Let go and accept yourself as you are and everything else will fall into place.

I agree. I'm not necessarily looking to "get a girl", though. I am quite interested in having an hot, awesome dating life as a single man. From there, in time an exclusive relationship may happen, or may not.

but worst part was, the girl I met a day earlier walked in as wel (and I kinda like her) so I got into an awkward situation today. Kinda messed up by trying to be cool, but forgot its the same line every day.... Asked multiple girls on one lin for phonenumebers... Another reason to laugh about myself

This is going off topic a bit, but I had to respond to this. They expected some kind of social exclusivity upon the first meeting? And you're laughing at yourself? Even children don't play at being "boyfriend and girlfriend" until after being actually asked out.

 

I do not consider your action laughable at all. I offer my sincerest congratulations for having cleanly and efficiently rid yourself of three "women" whose mental capacities apparently haven't advanced since junior high school.

 

Lights, I'm curious. Do you have any female friends?

No, not at this time.