NightsInWhiteSatin Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago because he doesn't have the time and energy to put into our relationship with all his jobs going on. He said his heart just isn't into it anymore. He doesn't want us to carry on together and end up hating eachother he'd rather us be friends than loose eachother all together. I agree with him...even though it's breaking my heart over and over and over. We are both still in love with eachother. I've spent every day and night since crying a hell of a lot...i havent slept or eaten properly and it's not getting any better. We text eachother and talk over msn everyday and night. Most nights we are both sat on the other side of the screen crying and hurting and talking about how much we miss eachother. I couldn't take it anymore and sent him a letter saying goodbye...which i regreted instantly and phoned him later that night. He had become very cold, hurt and angry towards me which is understandable. We argued...he hung up...then we made up...but the next day he was still very cold and hostile towards me. He told me he no longer wanted me to come watch him perform on Friday night because it'd only upset him and we'd both end up crying. He also told me he no longer wanted to spend his birthday with me on Sunday because he didn't want to be upset on his birthday. The next day he seemed to have come round a bit and was quite alright with me. That evening my best friend and her boyfriend went to watch him perform she took with her the gift i bought him for his birthday and passed it on to him. Since then he seems to have come round in himself a bit more and started being himself towards me...i think he was reminded of who i am...and that i'm not some horrible person who tried to walk out of his life completely. In the past before we got together, he really liked me but wasn't sure he could give me the time and attention i deserve...so he used to avoid seeing me and talking about personal things and the way he felt. He even admitted to doing this. He said that he can avoid me and force himself to concerntrate on all the busy things going on in his life but once he see's me he caves in and he can't push me to the back of his mind and his feelings are raw and on his sleeve. He's doing this right now...he's pushing me away slowly but surely...keeps telling me to move on and find someone better and that he'll always love me no matter what. He says he needs 6 months to sort out his work life so that he can get himself some free time....but he keeps pushing me to move on and not wait for him...he keeps convincing himself that i can do better. I'm willing to wait...i love him with all my heart...im not going to get over him in six months time. He wants to meet up sometime next week. We broke up on msn...(he didn't mean to do it at the time it just came out in the heat of the moment) i havent seen him since we were still together the day before. I'm quite nervous about seeing him...i'm not sure how i will react and i don't know how he will react and whether or not my reaction will determine whether or not he's going to continue avoiding me. I really really really would apreciate any advice please....anyone it would help so much as it always does. Thanks so much guys Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 I know this is painful for you and the advice I am going to give is not going to be easy to take. But, you need some time apart. Concentrate on building your own life without him. I am thinking NC would be best, also. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted April 3, 2006 Author Share Posted April 3, 2006 This week i'm planning on getting myself sorted and focusing on me for a while. Talking to him has become easier....we don't sit there crying on opposite sides of the computer anymore, we talk about things other than whats going on between us and i feel much better for it. He still wants to meet up sometime this week, he'll be coming round to see me at home. I'm still so nervous about it all....and i'm even thinking about asking him to leave it a few more weeks before we see eachother, but i dont know if its wise because there's some things i'd like to ask him in person and i need some kinda closure on our relationship so we can start being friends. Also i don't want to upset him and push him away. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
2020vision Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 This guy is seriously a piece of work...He has you strung along like a little puppy dog. If he has asked for time apart, give him exactly what he asked for. Why would you settle for only the remains of a relationship?? I suggest you tell him to stop playing tug o war with your emotions (and his for that matter) and just spend some serious time apart. No messaging of any kind, no phone conversations, and for heaven's sake do not see him. Link to post Share on other sites
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