v8adam Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 hi everyone, me and my girlfriend have been living together for 2 weeks now, it's also been 2 weeks since we've had sex. We have been together for 3 months and have only had sex 4 times in that time and that was only in the last month. After the first time she said we would have sex often and stuff. On friday night i was cuddling her in bed and rubbing her back and she liked it cos she didnt want me to stop. So i didnt, she roller on her side and i started running my hands over her, touching her breasts and rubbing her nipples. That was for about 5 minutes, i got no reaction, she then turned onto her chest so i cud continue. So i went back to my side of the bed and slept. This happens a few times although its not often im touching her breasts but ill rub her back and stuff. There is no neck kissing or anything like that. What do i do? Do i ask her if we can have sex more often or do i wait for her to want to have sex with me?
Groovy Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 I would bring it up, when people are living together they need to be comfortable talking about things. Sex is not everything but it is a factor in the relationship where people need to be compatible. Some people are OK never having sex and some people want it all the time. I always think of my poor cousin who waited for marriage and married a woman who was sexually abused. After they got married she wouldn't sleep with him and wouldn't go into therapy so they divorced. Point is, they weren't compatible and he waited far too long to discover this. Find out about it before you talk the relationship to the next level....
ImWithHim Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 she then turned onto her chest so i cud continue. So i went back to my side of the bed and slept. Is there a line missing or something? If she was giving you the signal to continue, why would you stop and go back to your side of the bed?
konfuzd Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 He was obviously only rubbing her back in order to try to get what he wanted from her, as is usually the case. Since that wasn't working out for him, he did what every other man would do, and rolled over.
ImWithHer Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 He was obviously only rubbing her back in order to try to get what he wanted from her, as is usually the case. Since that wasn't working out for him, he did what every other man would do, and rolled over.Wow, and I thought I was cynical! Maybe she just feels weird about initiating. She let you rub her nipples for a while, which most guys would think is a sign that she would like to move on to sex. But for women, this is not always so obvious a sign. She could have been waiting for you to move a little farther. Next time progress from nipple rubbing to sucking (be gentle now!), and see what her reaction is. If she doesn't push you away or ask you to stop, then I'd say she wants to progress but doesn't want to initiate. If she DOES ask you to stop, then allowing you to rub her nipples is NOT a sign to move on, and there may be other issues. As Groovy said, communication is the key here. There could be a million reasons why you're not gettin' any, and you two need to have an open discussion about it. If you can't talk about this now, its only gonna get harder (you know - more difficult!).
MadDog Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 If you were only having sex about 1 time a month before you moved in together, what would make you think you'd start having sex more often? Just because she told you you would? Some girls just don't seem to want or need sex very much. Looks like you might be with one of those girls. MD
Horse Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Sex isn't everything... but damn you just started going out with her and you have only had sex four times in three months? Why did you move in together so quickly? If I was in a relationship with so little passion after only three months, I would be looking for a way out, not moving in together.
whichwayisup Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 The fact you two are serious enough to be living together, you should be able to openly talk to her. Ask her if something is wrong. Maybe she is stressed out, or trying to get used to the new living arrangements. Can I ask how old you both are? I'm not judging you, but you just started going out with her 3 months ago, moved in 2 weeks ago and just basically started having sex with her in the past month, less than 6 times...
Citizen Erased Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 she then turned onto her chest so i cud continue. Is that a typo?
SuperMonk Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Dude, why did you let a girl you barely know move in with you? Usually insecure guys do that within 6-9 months of meeting a girl.
MadDog Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Dude, why did you let a girl you barely know move in with you? Usually insecure guys do that within 6-9 months of meeting a girl. Yeah their timeline seems pretty damned rushed. I'd never move in with a girl after 3 months no matter how well I thought I knew her. There are way too many issues that might not come out until much more time has passed. I think the very earliest I'd consider moving in with a girl is after a year in a serious relationship. I'd have to have seen her 3-4 times a week during that year and feel like I know all the important things about her. The last thing you want is a surprise after you've moved in. If I had any reservations about our relationship, I'd put moving in on hold after that first year. If I wasn't comfortable moving in with her after 1.5 years, I'd probably consider moving on. Wow that puts things into perspective. It's going to be hard finding a girlfriend I'd consider moving in with anytime soon. Looks like I'm going to be living in a bachelor pad for quite some time. I'll make it pimpin' so at least I'll get some good action in the meanwhile. MD
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