Guest Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 All i can say is that it was instant attraction both physical and mental. the other day we broke the ice and I invited him over to shoot pool with me...naturally we flirted and played around, and then he asked to kiss me I let him. after that we sat down for bit and we talked about ourselves our relationships/marriage..etc...we were so compatible. He asked if he could see what I taste like several times and I kept the conversation going , anyway one thing led to another and I fell into the trap of all traps...we ended up in bed and it was incredible, he was all over me when it was over kissing me all over my nck and not wnateing to leave. Exactly 22 minutes later after he left me house, he text me and said " I enjoyed your company it was great"...I said same here...he then said he was happy to make me feel good.... So we mad small talk all that day and he called my phone when he left his house that evening just to say hello again. I am in shock at the amount of communication we are having at this point, because we had sex so early and his plays professional football which made me think I was just a number in line. This morning he called me at 7:30 am and said "hello sexy"...I was surprised because I was thinking hmmm I wonder where his wife is at this early. We plan to see eachother later today and he sent me a text saying "he couldn't wait". I love the attention he is giving me but I am afraid it might not last....and I am afraid I might fall hard for him. I have gone thru somehting similar before like this but the MM was not available like this one is as much, and he and I barely spoke on the phone at all, and I always initiated the hello's and the other mushy stuff. It was a very controlled situation where he never showed true feelings at all like this guy, he used to call me up only when he was ready to have sex. I am not saying this new guy wont be that way but he is at least offering dinner and nights on the town, and he calls me alot. the last guy even made it where we only hooked up a 2 to 3 times a month saying that it would prevent our feelings from getting involed if we spreaded things out. That hurt my ego and my self esteem. this feels different and for some strange reason I feel like I have finally found someone to nurture my emotional side as well as physical.
whichwayisup Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 My question to you is, why are you allowing yourself to fall for men who are really unavailable to you? Not only is this man a professional Fooball player, but he is married too. Can you take a step back and see the whole picture? To invest in him emotionally is just setting yourself up for a big hurt. He's married and when Football season starts up again, that comes first - So if you plan on staying with him, be prepared to not be in his everyday life. I'm sure that is what his wife is used to as well. Hate to say this, but I highly doubt you're the first woman he's had outside his marriage. Even if it feels differently for you since your last MM, he is not yours. He is taken, so again, I don't know why you'd involve yourself with another MM. I'm sure there is some single man who would put you first, love you and make you feel wonderful! Think about this before you get involved deeper. Please go read some other stories in this section, see the pain that the OW go through. Then go read some stories by posters who are the betrayed spouses, their lives ruined and turned upside down because they found out they've been cheated upon. Then, think about his children, if he has any. Do you really want to be part of this? You know what is what as it seems you've been through this before, so why are going for round two with another MM?
pricillia Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Hi guest, Everyone one needs to experience things in thier own way, I too was involved with a MM, it has since ended. I used all of my energy into not letting him get too close because I already knew the outcome. I have to ask myself then did I miss out on a opportunity to be with some one else that I had a great physical/emotional connection with because I was putting energy into someone that was not really available? You should ask yourself the same thing, and YOU should take a step back from the situation and try to get out now, while you still can.
HokeyReligions Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 Why do you want to have relationships with married men?
bluetuesday Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 I have gone thru somehting similar before like this but the MM was not available like this one is as much, and he and I barely spoke on the phone at all, and I always initiated the hello's and the other mushy stuff. It was a very controlled situation where he never showed true feelings at all like this guy, he used to call me up only when he was ready to have sex. what 'true feelings' would they be? this guy is unavailable. after f***ing you he goes home to his wife, that's the only truth of this situation.
castle26 Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 All i can say is that it was instant attraction both physical and mental. the other day we broke the ice and I invited him over to shoot pool with me...naturally we flirted and played around, and then he asked to kiss me I let him. after that we sat down for bit and we talked about ourselves our relationships/marriage..etc...we were so compatible. He asked if he could see what I taste like several times and I kept the conversation going , anyway one thing led to another and I fell into the trap of all traps...we ended up in bed and it was incredible, he was all over me when it was over kissing me all over my nck and not wnateing to leave. Exactly 22 minutes later after he left me house, he text me and said " I enjoyed your company it was great"...I said same here...he then said he was happy to make me feel good.... So we mad small talk all that day and he called my phone when he left his house that evening just to say hello again. I am in shock at the amount of communication we are having at this point, because we had sex so early and his plays professional football which made me think I was just a number in line. This morning he called me at 7:30 am and said "hello sexy"...I was surprised because I was thinking hmmm I wonder where his wife is at this early. We plan to see eachother later today and he sent me a text saying "he couldn't wait". I love the attention he is giving me but I am afraid it might not last....and I am afraid I might fall hard for him. I have gone thru somehting similar before like this but the MM was not available like this one is as much, and he and I barely spoke on the phone at all, and I always initiated the hello's and the other mushy stuff. It was a very controlled situation where he never showed true feelings at all like this guy, he used to call me up only when he was ready to have sex. I am not saying this new guy wont be that way but he is at least offering dinner and nights on the town, and he calls me alot. the last guy even made it where we only hooked up a 2 to 3 times a month saying that it would prevent our feelings from getting involed if we spreaded things out. That hurt my ego and my self esteem. this feels different and for some strange reason I feel like I have finally found someone to nurture my emotional side as well as physical. Only 22 minutes? What was that, a Short Pass? Sorry I couldn't help it, some football humor-- but hey if you're crazy for each other, take it slow. Remember there's lots of men out there if it doesn't work out. With my affair, we had the instant emotional/physical attraction like you, and it's been years now, with our love growing stronger every day. We cannot divorce our spouses for each other--not now--but that does not change our feelings for each other. I wish the best for you.
lovernotafighter Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 I can only say one word to you: RUN! you took the words out of my mouth...run now while you are still intact!
Walking away Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 you took the words out of my mouth...run now while you are still intact! Great minds think alike, huh?
Sami_D Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 Sending you plenty of texts saying 'hello sexy' and 'i can't wait' ISN'T 'communicating'... it's just his style. And it's yukky. Don't let him wipe you off your feet... he's a player, in all senses. RUN AWAY NOW.
Walking away Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 Sami, You are right...This isn't a "relationship" in ANY sense of the word. This is an extended booty call. And, if she thinks any differently, she is in for a world of hurt. Guest: I am going to say it again: RUN!
curly Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 Very true. That's EXACTLY what he is. OK, I have a feeling that you are posting here because you see where it's going. Into the deep abyss... And you will get hurt. I have no doubt. This will not go well for you. But if you insist on seeing this man, be prepared. Read other posts and know that it will end with him not choosing you. There's no way. He's working you with his texts and small talk. This is his life. He's a professional player. He will not leave his wife to give her half of his millions he gets for playing football. Football players have a very short shelf life. He will make tons of money but not forever. He will not give up that money, his life. He will only make this kind of money until he's at the very most 40 and that's rare. More likely, that salary will only be around until he's about 30-35. He knows that, his agent knows that and his family knows that. So, knowing that, just know that he won't leave his wife. Do you really want to spend time (especially the great summer months) with someone that will leave you in the end? Someone who will break your heart or at least put a serious dent in your self-esteem? I'll say it as well.... RUN, RUN NOW!!!!!! But if you don't walk away, I have a feeling this will end right about the August time frame, when he starts training for the season. So, your relationship with him has a shelf life also. So, spend the time with him, find out what happens, just brace yourself. It's a seriously bumpy ride. I don't blame or judge you for staying with him. Like most of here (OW), we chose to stay and ride it out too. I can tell you by first-hand experience, it's wonderful and the most brilliant relationship I've ever had. And in the end, I was crushed, beyond any pain I've ever known. I go through the pain and hurt everyday. It's so difficult. I have made such a fool of myself going so far as to beg him to be with me. Then I get my head back and walk away again. Only to contact him within a month or so just to see if he's changed his mind. He hasn't and I get wrecked all over again. My situation is even made worse by the fact that he has left his wife but does not think we should be together now. I wish you all the best, but mostly I wish you the wisdom of the words of us (the OW) who have gone before you. We've learned the HARD way, it is the most regrettable decision you'll ever make. Please try very hard to extricate yourself from this situation. You deserve something more healthy.
JayKay Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 Dear guest, Read all the OW posts from beginning to end. Seriously. Take a whole day to read through them. There is a reason why OW post here; usually it's because they are suffering. They let themselves fall into these horrible traps and then spend years trying to wade their way out of the muck. Honestly, I know you feel 'compatible' right now but you don't truly know if you're compatible with someone until you have had a real relationship with them that has stood the test of time. This is just chemistry and fantasy. Yes, it feels good. But you're headed for a trainwreck.
SoleMate Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 Let me give you some advice you might actually follow... Be his fling on the side for the next six weeks/months/years... get deeper and deeper in with him... accept shreds of attention as if they are a priceless gift... start closing yourself off to the possibility of leaving him and getting with a single man... tell yourself you're a helpless fool in love and it is your fate to have a fantastic extended booty call with a professional athlete... become isolated from friends and family because none of them would see and understand how special your romantic love affair is... start turning crazy slowly as you twist your mind into the ridiculous thought patterns that fit his needs... question your own sanity... feel like a used Kleenex... ask him for a little more love and attention... watch him turn on you like you're a stalker psychowhore... etc.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 a stalker psychowhore... ... psychowhore... I like that!
Nergyca Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Your going to get hurt. I am an OW. I started out the center of attention, we had so much time together. Five years later, I am inlove with him, and he has less and less time. It's so hard to let go. It's better to have a little love than no love type thing. But I hurt everyday. If it's only been two weeks. Let go! Stop! It's for your own good. THis will torture you mentally! What ever you decide. Good luck! And make yourself #1. No one else will.
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