phrekmon Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t754...light=phrekmon http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t763...light=phrekmon You might want to read some of my old posts to get an idea what happened in my life. In a nutshell my wife left me for her chidhood sweetheart last Nov. came back a month later. In that time I have found Jesus and totaly submitted to God. some of the stipulations I put on our reunion was our marriage would be Christ centered, there would be no contact with the OM, and I would control all money matters. O.K. she agreed and away we go. In Jan. I found out she had contacted him, even left a love kinda letter on his car outside his work which he brought to me. (after I found his number on her cell phone I called him) I forgave her, she promised again no contact. We have become very active in the church and even get counceling from the Paster and his wife at least once a week and now we talk on phone to them everyday to be accountable. Again everything seemed as though we were on the right track. We fellowship at church 2-3 nights a week and all day on Sundays is Gods (church in a.m. and mens/womens ministry Sunday nights) This past Monday she tells me she doesnt want to try anymore to heal our marriage or herself (both of us knew the Lord but didnt walk in his light in our past) She told me that she cant forgive me for my part in our 10 year marriage. I let her know that 10 years I worshiped her but now God was my first love, and I would continue to Love, Honor and provide for her till she made the choise to leave (there was no fighting,screaming etc..from me like in the past) I asked her to be honest with me for her reasons, she told me it was the OM again (shes talking on the phone to him from work) she could not get him out of her head. I am confused about what God wants me to do. I read that God didnt forsake me when I was not walking with him, and I should not forsake her, but also this is the only reason God would allow a divorce as in cases of infidelity. Any suggestions,comments ? Dennis
Blind Illusion Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Are you sure this is the life she wanted or did she feel she had to agree with it in order to work on your marriage. Personally I can see the stip about not having contact with the OM but not the money one or what our marriage must be centered on. Spituality is a personal thing and we all find it in our own time. I didn't read your threads yet but it does seem a bit unfair that she cannot forgive you for something when she wanted that same thing. The only thing I could suggest is professional marriage counseling (and I hope it doesn't come out that I think negatively about the pastor and his wife) Do both even, either with or without her.
NoIDidn't Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 I'm with BlindIllusion on this. You can't force your religious views on anyone. Not even your wife. Remember 1 Cor. 7 12 - 14 12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. And the money thing is not in the bible anywhere just who is responsible for the handling of money. Stop trying to control her and she will stop thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
Mz. Pixie Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 Hi Dennis- I remember you. The reason he wanted to control the money is because she got them into financial trouble with her overspending- and him giving her everything she wanted. I actually think that your wife is full of it. She's not wanting to leave you because she cannot forgive you for what's gone on in the last 10 years, it's because she is still in contact with OM. I think that you have done more than enough to save this marriage and it's obvious that she is not going to. I wouldn't leave the house, or help her to leave but let that be her decision. I would also suggest that if she wants to be on her own, let her, but don't provide any financial support. God doesn't like divorce, but He is forgiving and I don't believe He expects us to put up with unrepentant infidelity- which is what she is doing to you. Seek the counsel of your pastor on this one too so that you can see how your church stands on this.
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