phrekmon Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t75470/?highlight=phrekmon http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t76329/?highlight=phrekmon You might want to read some of my old posts to get an idea what happened in my life. In a nutshell my wife left me for her chidhood sweetheart last Nov. came back a month later. In that time I have found Jesus and totaly submitted to God. some of the stipulations I put on our reunion was our marriage would be Christ centered, there would be no contact with the OM, and I would control all money matters. O.K. she agreed and away we go. In Jan. I found out she had contacted him, even left a love kinda letter on his car outside his work which he brought to me. (after I found his number on her cell phone I called him) I forgave her, she promised again no contact. We have become very active in the church and even get counceling from the Paster and his wife at least once a week and now we talk on phone to them everyday to be accountable. Again everything seemed as though we were on the right track. We fellowship at church 2-3 nights a week and all day on Sundays is Gods (church in a.m. and mens/womens ministry Sunday nights) This past Monday she tells me she doesnt want to try anymore to heal our marriage or herself (both of us knew the Lord but didnt walk in his light in our past) She told me that she cant forgive me for my part in our 10 year marriage. I let her know that 10 years I worshiped her but now God was my first love, and I would continue to Love, Honor and provide for her till she made the choise to leave (there was no fighting,screaming etc..from me like in the past) I asked her to be honest with me for her reasons, she told me it was the OM again (shes talking on the phone to him from work) she could not get him out of her head. I am confused about what God wants me to do. I read that God didnt forsake me when I was not walking with him, and I should not forsake her, but also this is the only reason God would allow a divorce as in cases of infidelity. Any suggestions,comments ? Dennis
HokeyReligions Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 I should not forsake her, You are not. She is. You can't control her, no matter what stipulations she agrees to. Does your God demand that you stay in an unhealthy marriage no matter what? Why? How is staying in a one-sided marriage serving God? Counseling has not worked and no matter what you are in for more heartache in the future. Would it not be better to get the heartache overwith now - get through it and have a hope for a better future for yourself? Wouldn't that serve God better? I'll bet there are plenty of divorced people in your church.
Chris777 Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 It is too late for me to look at your old threads tonight. so I obviously don''t have the full story. But other than her desire for this other man, has she actually cheated on you? Are their children involved? You are the head of the family, I went through a similar situation befor I got saved, and I bowed down to her wishes, because "she just didn't love me anymore, and didn't want to keep trying, even with the kids and such" I gave her some "space" thinking it would hepl, and it did help, ...her move another guy into my bed. I enabled her. If I had it do do over again I would have at least fought it, made her work for a divorce, I don't know if it would have made a difference, but I do know that she keeps going back to her current boyfriend who abuses her, and I did nothing but try to make her happy. as for divorce, in itself God hates it, he says so, in the Bible. If you can forgive her, and if she will repent ,hopefully you can put this behind you. But if she has cheated, and you can't forgive it, you are permitted to divorce her. And if she doesn;t repent then she may file on you, but remember you are not of this world, and this world has no clue what a covenant is , not witin marrage, and most definitely not with God. Pray about your situation., and I know it seems hard, and even bizzare in light of the way the world thinks of things and how divorce is as easy as changing a wardrobe. But read Hosea. I had a pastor tell me to command my ex to come back, back before I was saved, and it made no sense whatsoever, back then, But I have a new understanding now, and though I can;t change the past, I would have made it much more difficult for my ex wife to discard our family ,like we were last seasons style. (Hosea's wife the adultress Gomer was a represenative of the whoredom of adulterous israel, and Still God forgave, {and forgives} them ,just as Hosea forgave Gomer.
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