Guest Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 I met up with my ex recently. It didn't go so hot...I basically cried and said why don't you want me and didn't this past year mean anything to you, and lets try this again. If your familiar with any of my other posts, he broke up with me b/c I couldn't give him space... which i did fail miserably at... but as crazy as it sounds. We've been broken up for 3 weeks now and I do see the error in my ways. I discussed this with my ex, but he wasn't willing to try it again.. he now tells me that he loves me more than anything, wants to be with me, but that the timing just isn't right... that he doesn't want a girlfriend right now.. he has just quit his job and is trying to focus on starting his own business and doesn't want a girlfriend to side track him... YET... he tells me this: i want to be with you, i love you and only you, i want to be monogamous(sp.) with you, but i don't want you as a girlfriend right now. what does that mean??? those are basically the 3 things you do have when you have a girlfriend. I just don't see why he can't be with me if he wants all those things. how can you be monogamous with someone you aren't in a relationship with?? i don't understand what the hell he wants... and i wonder if i'm going to just hurt myself more and prolong the healing if i wait around for him and hope some day he wants me. he tells me he doesn't want to be around me now b/c all i do is cry and ask questions, he wants me to be able to hang out with him... but i'm hurt and i don't know how to put on a happy face... and if i do go hang out with him why would he ever want me back as a girlfriend when he's already got me as a pal????
blondelexus Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 You Will Drive Yourself Crazy Trying To Figure This Out!! The Truth Is This. I Can Say This Because I Am Going Through About The Same Thing Right Now. When Someone Loves You, I Don't Care What Words Come From Their Mouths. They Will Want You To Be Happy And They Will Want To Be With You. Bottom Line, This Is The Way It Is!! Please Get Out Of This And Drop This Person. It Will Save You A Lot More Heartache Trying To Determine What Is Going On Here. It Doesn't Matter. If He Doesn't Want To Be In Your Live, He Isn't Right For You. Blondelexus
Mary3 Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 " I dont want a relationship right now " means he does not want to be in a relationship with you. " I want to be monogamous with you : means he wants to have sex with you and wants you to only have sex with him. Its not to say he won't have sex behind your back now, since he is not your boyfriend. ( See how easy and convienant that is for him ? " The timing isn't right for us " means he does not want you in his life at this time and he is looking around for someone else and you will promptly be dropped once he finds someone. " I love only you right now : means he does not want to hurt your feelings, his love level is dipping to breakup level and you are being ceremoniously dumped.
Twilighthero Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 you have to be willing to accept the fact that he isn’t meant for you. A year is a long time to be with someone, but that doesn’t mean that it’s someone you’re meant to be with. There is a difference if he were to say “I just need some time to sort it out" that’s a true statement, I, a MAN, have said that and honestly meant it. I wasn’t taking time off to bone some other woman, I just wanted to time to myself, to clear my head and level out. Right now my girlfriend is taking time, yeah I am sad but it’s the realization that taking time doesn’t mean its over. It does seem like he has a lot on his plate with what you have said and a girlfriend really could jeopardize his concentration. In all honesty just close your eyes and take a deep breath, realize that what he says is him talking out of frustration. Think about it this way, if he were to busy to spend time with you, if you were his girlfriend he would be obligated to spending time with you, but not as his girlfriend, he doesn’t feel the guilt for not having to spend time with you, so I suppose it’s a move to save him from feeling bad. All in all, the call is yours, but I advise, heed his words and understand that he loves you and wants you and wants to be monogamous with you then everything will work its self out. Just don’t go having sex with the bloke, because once you girls take your drawers off, for some reason s*** becomes weird…
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