Guest Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Today was my last day at a job I left where I had a year long EA with a MM. Today we said goodbye, and he kissed me and I kissed him goodbye. A hug followed and a "take care". We never once admitted we had anything other than a friendship, but with the office dinners and conversations we had through the year, and the late night chats on the computer, it was obvious we were much more emotionally involved....which made tonight exceptionally difficult. Driving home I cried, I was proud I never let the affair escalate into the physical category, but at the same time, I was very sad that I'd never see him again. Will the emotions switch off for both of us in time, since we won't see eachother again? or will they continue and he'll eventually find an excuse to see me? I never had anything like this before, so any of you who had EA's...let me know how it changed once you left your job...It seems that affairs in general follow the same course...and I want to be prepared should he ask to see me for a "congenial" drink or dinner...
scarletletter Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Why won't you ever see him again? Are you moving out of town or is he?
Blind Illusion Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 You can very easily still hear from him online or you can email him, if that is what you want. It can very easily turn at this point since you don't have the added "taboo" of working together. He will have to make more of an effort to see you now.
Guest Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Why won't you ever see him again? Are you moving out of town or is he? I moved about an hour away from him...same general area though. As the other person said, he'd have to make a bigger effort now...should he want to continue. I'm sure he'll still chat with me online...But don't think he'd make an effort to see me....but I never really know with him...being he never had to worry about not seeing me. Now he won't have the luxury of climbing up a flight of stairs....It may dissipate the relationship..or he'll start missing me.
Walking away Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Who knows what will happen? It depends on your personalities and the depth of the attachment. Time will reveal these things to you. Be prepared. The pain will hit soon, and it is powerful to say the least. Even the strongest of the strong stumble in this part of the "ending." I have fallen flat on my face in the last few weeks....cried...stopped eating....you name it. Intellectually, I knew what i was doing was right, but my heart has felt like it has been ripped out. (Our affair was 7 months long...EA and PA) It still does... Be prepared for anything. That is all I can say. Keep your chin up.
lovernotafighter Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 Who knows what will happen? It depends on your personalities and the depth of the attachment. Time will reveal these things to you. Be prepared. The pain will hit soon, and it is powerful to say the least. Even the strongest of the strong stumble in this part of the "ending." I have fallen flat on my face in the last few weeks....cried...stopped eating....you name it. Intellectually, I knew what i was doing was right, but my heart has felt like it has been ripped out. (Our affair was 7 months long...EA and PA) It still does... Be prepared for anything. That is all I can say. Keep your chin up. WA you really are a pillar of strengh! I haven't even walked away yet and the pain it tremendous and I always believed I was the toughest person I know but I've never been so weak in my life. Today was my last day at a job I left where I had a year long EA with a MM. Today we said goodbye, and he kissed me and I kissed him goodbye. A hug followed and a "take care". We never once admitted we had anything other than a friendship, but with the office dinners and conversations we had through the year, and the late night chats on the computer, it was obvious we were much more emotionally involved....which made tonight exceptionally difficult. Driving home I cried, I was proud I never let the affair escalate into the physical category, but at the same time, I was very sad that I'd never see him again. Will the emotions switch off for both of us in time, since we won't see eachother again? or will they continue and he'll eventually find an excuse to see me? I never had anything like this before, so any of you who had EA's...let me know how it changed once you left your job...It seems that affairs in general follow the same course...and I want to be prepared should he ask to see me for a "congenial" drink or dinner... in truth guest I don't believe this is the end of your EA..when me and my MM pretty much got separated by work and him being caught talking to me he circumvented the relationship and we see each other more than ever..so it doesn't get better it gets worse. good luck stay strong,your gonna have to be.
Blind Illusion Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 Also, phone calls could easily replace his past habit or walking up the stairs to speak with you. Eventually, a meeting coudl be suggested. Possibly a lunch to catch up. A drink to chat further. The tone of yours and his emails in the next few weeks should tell you what direction this will head.
johan Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 I think it's good it ended. You should take the opportunity to find someone who isn't married.
Guest Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 I think it's good it ended. You should take the opportunity to find someone who isn't married. That is what I'm hoping....I haven't heard from him...but I also haven't been using my usual screen name....and he's been online a lot....no emails though and no phonecalls(we were never really phone talkers anyway). I wonder if this NC you all speak of really works...or will it hit him (and me) and we'll get anxious to get in touch??
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