Online Dating

[kitkat826]

The first guy I dated from match.com ended up being an arrogant, anal, uber-metrosexual....we dated for about 3.5 months.

 

The second guy I dated from match.com, although really nice at first, ended up just wanting some booty...we dated for about 3.5 weeks.

 

After that, I swore off internet dating and posted on here about how I wouldn't ever be able to find someone with who I truly "clicked" because that type of connection could only be made in real life.

 

Six months later, however, I updated my profile at match.com for the hell of it. I was bored and frustrated in the moment with my FWB. That's how I met my current boyfriend. We've been dating now for 7 weeks, and it is by far the most inerently compatible and healthy relationship I've ever been in. Who knows; it could all go to crap over the next couple of months, but so could any other relationship.

[riobikini]

ehead: " I think if the relationship has lasted longer than about 2 or 3 months, it really doesn't matter where the couple met. At that point, whether you met in a bar or online or at the YMCA seems to be of little importance, and the relationship is going to fall apart or last based on it's own merit."

 

ehead, I see your point, -and looking at it only from that perspective, I can even agree with you.

 

Add another aspect to it, though, and it takes on a different tone, -say for instance, a poll of the following question:

 

Do you think that, with online dating, lying about yourself is somehow easier, and much simpler, and that the whole mentality of online dating promotes and may even encourage false info in profiles, and lowers the feeling of responsibility of having to take anyone seriously that you meet online, more than in real life?

 

You see, ehead, I believe it's a little more difficult to lie to someone about your income when you meet them in person at the grocery checkout buying hamburger and ramen noodles than it is when you meet them online where they find it less difficult to lie to you about many things, mentaly prep you, and steer you in a specific direction to create a false image of who they really are, and how they really live thier life.

 

In real-life meetings, too, the truth about someone has to come out sometime, but I think the dating sites have an advantage with prolonging the truth, as well as lots more room for creation of an outright false image.

 

-Rio

 

P.S. I lost a Lincoln LS, and a few thousand dollars, plus lots of other stuff...not to mention my pride...to an online Romeo'...may tell you that story, if it's ever needed to further prove my view/experience with online dating.

[Guest]

You see, ehead, I believe it's a little more difficult to lie to someone about your income when you meet them in person at the grocery checkout buying hamburger and ramen noodles than it is when you meet them online where they find it less difficult to lie to you about many things, mentaly prep you, and steer you in a specific direction to create a false image of who they really are, and how they really live thier life.

 

You don't know if the guy buying burger and ramen is a zillionaire that eats badly. Nor can people tell if they're being lied to in person much better than they can online. Plenty of women were bilked out of fortunes long before the Internet existed.

 

P.S. I lost a Lincoln LS, and a few thousand dollars, plus lots of other stuff...not to mention my pride...to an online Romeo'...

 

With all due respect, if you're gullible and connable, you'll be as easily conned by someone you meet at a poshy bar. In fact, the worst cons are the ones who frequent 'quality' locales because they know that people tend to think exactly this way - that they can 'tell' who's a liar and who's not in person.

 

Moral of the story is 'be real smart about your money', not 'avoid the internet'.

[littlekitty]

You see, ehead, I believe it's a little more difficult to lie to someone about your income when you meet them in person at the grocery checkout buying hamburger and ramen noodles than it is when you meet them online where they find it less difficult to lie to you about many things, mentaly prep you, and steer you in a specific direction to create a false image of who they really are, and how they really live thier life.

 

All the more reason to only use OD as a way of MEETING someone. Don't allow the relationship to continue too long in the cyber realm. Get out and meet the person, from that point on it becomes far harder to lie.

 

It's when you allow a relationship to develop only in cyber space that you are allowing yourself to be mislead like this.

 

I don't know. I certainly haven't had the experience of a lot of you out there. I didn't get played by liars or anything such thing. Perhaps that's because I stuck to my own rules.

[Art_Critic]

You don't know if the guy buying burger and ramen is a zillionaire that eats badly. Nor can people tell if they're being lied to in person much better than they can online. Plenty of women were bilked out of fortunes long before the Internet existed.

 

With all due respect, if you're gullible and connable, you'll be as easily conned by someone you meet at a poshy bar. In fact, the worst cons are the ones who frequent 'quality' locales because they know that people tend to think exactly this way - that they can 'tell' who's a liar and who's not in person.

 

Moral of the story is 'be real smart about your money', not 'avoid the internet'.

 

I totally Agree Guest... (OC)

 

and to add .. OD is nothing more than a way of meeting someone.. it doesn't mean it breeds bad people.. the bad people were bad before OD.

[BigB]

I think the problem is that too many people lie in their profiles and try to "build themselves up" when they first start talking via email and/or IM.

 

I think online is a great way to meet people, but as soon as you think you're compatible, you should drop all the online crap and start dating in real life.

 

I always tell people, before meeting: no commitments or any kind other than "I'll meet you for coffee at 4", don't talk too much, no long distance, and meet as soon as possible.

 

If you don't meet soon people build up the other person in their head, start to fall for an idea that doesn't exist, etc...

 

I met my current GF online, on myspace. She added me to her friends list and sent me an email. We talked via email for about a week, maybe one message a day, and it was all chit-chat. At first we weren't interested in dating each other, just making friends. The closest thing we got to romantic via email was her telling me I was cute and that she might be interested in me, and me saying that "the feeling might me mutual". We decided to meet a few days later and things developed from there.

 

So far things are working great, this is probably the best relationship I've ever had. We've been together for almost 3 months.

 

I think when we met neither of us had any reason to put on any kind act. We were just making friends so it didn't matter.... A lot of online dating site's seem to encourage people to only show their good side...... then again, plenty of people are fake as hell in person too.....

[riobikini]

Art Critic, LK & Guest,

 

"Agreed" that people who are 'bad' were 'bad' before logging on, (and I certainly am not suggesting anyone stop OD, nor using the internet, here) - but the point of my post still goes unanswered.

 

While there are lots of people who have been burned by online contact (as I have), -it also, still does not necessarily put their intelligence in question, -nor does it instantly merit a big badge across anyones forehead stating 'Gullible'.

 

Scams happen to the best of us.

 

Perhaps, you simply haven't been a victim, at this time.

 

I used to stand in the shoes of those who swore they were not the 'type' to be an online victim...and was probably the least person you'd think of who'd allow anything even hinting of fraud or scam touch her life.

 

I can now, say (sadly) -that you can have a Harvard degree or a kindergarten education and still be a scam victim.

 

Furthermore, on the topic of being fooled by appearances in regards to income level, -most of us are aware, I think, that anyone from Gates to a carpet-layer can view the world as their oyster or choose to kick back with a back-yard beer barbecue, -but burning the candle at both ends and pretending you have when you have not, will eventually come to light with limited-income online 'millionaires'.

 

Pretending a to live a better lifestyle than what they actually live, is a common lie that, I personally, find in alot of online men.

 

I'm not looking for a provider with sizable income, -I am well able to take care of myself- but I have had several experiences with introductions to men in online dating sites who are more than willing to 'come along for the ride' in regards to lifestyle.....and far less of it in real life.

 

-Rio

[BigB]

Funny, I'm reminded of my old online dating profile that clearly said I was a Security guard who was staying with his parents to save up money....

 

Oddly no women ever contacted me...

[jerbear]

Funny, I'm reminded of my old online dating profile that clearly said I was a Security guard who was staying with his parents to save up money....

 

Oddly no women ever contacted me...

 

Ditto here but not security guard, but grad student of an Ivy! :lmao: Talk about funny. Oh well...

[riobikini]

(Laughing)

 

BigB, -you were a catch, -and somehow they missed you!

 

(Smile)

 

-Rio

 

P.S. I'd rather have a guy with almost nothing left in his pockets after working a steady job and keeping his payments up as long as he was loaded with lotsa love to give than a liar who wants a ride along on the flurry of a woman's financial skirt-tails, any day!!!

[riobikini]

P.S.

 

In regards to the guy in the online dating site who scammed me out of the car, the money, etc...turns out he's a 'career criminal'...he actually preys on women for money....detectives here in my area have researched him well....he still hasn't been caught, yet...but here's the kicker: he's still trolling in the very same site for women...you should read his profile, -it's makes him appear as the quintessential gentlemen- and he claims a very (as you say) 'posh' lifestyle....furthermore, he also is a bookie, a fence, and God only knows what else....and I was actually, 'lucky'....some of the women he scammed lost nearly everything they had...most of them turn out to be right around my age, divorced, and having certain assets which he zeros in on within a short time after meeting them....he plays everything with an extreme coolness and is very adept -after doing this for many years- at getting the assets.

 

Period of time I knew him? Three months.

 

-Rio

[littlekitty]

P.S.

 

In regards to the guy in the online dating site who scammed me out of the car, the money, etc...turns out he's a 'career criminal'...he actually preys on women for money....detectives here in my area have researched him well....he still hasn't been caught, yet...but here's the kicker: he's still trolling in the very same site for women...you should read his profile, -it's makes him appear as the quintessential gentlemen- and he claims a very (as you say) 'posh' lifestyle....furthermore, he also is a bookie, a fence, and God only knows what else....and I was actually, 'lucky'....some of the women he scammed lost nearly everything they had...most of them turn out to be right around my age, divorced, and having certain assets which he zeros in on within a short time after meeting them....he plays everything with an extreme coolness and is very adept -after doing this for many years- at getting the assets.

 

Period of time I knew him? Three months.

 

-Rio

 

Are you able or willing to tell us a bit more of the story Rio? I'm very interested as to how someone who appears as intelligent and astute as yourself could have possibly been taken in?

 

I can only presume it must have been in the midst of a relationship with this guy while your guard was down?!

[riobikini]

LK,

 

" Are you able or willing to tell us a bit more of the story Rio? I'm very interested as to how someone who appears as intelligent and astute as yourself could have possibly been taken in?

 

I can only presume it must have been in the midst of a relationship with this guy while your guard was down?!"

 

Earlier in this thread, I told you how I wound up on an online dating site, -a bit reluctantly, and highly skeptical of the whole concept.

 

I actually read the profiles of the prospective men whom my sister helped me choose. I read them -and I deliberated over them for a week or so before even replying to them.

 

The first one was a casual dinner date, a retired businessman, who I learned was dead broke and over his head in debt -I wound up paying for dinner.

 

The second one was a lawyer -who ended up lying about being divorced (he wasn't).

 

The third was a semi-retired corporate guy, -whom, I learned, was a notorious serial dater, -but very romantic. He lavished himself with luxurious things and vacations, etc. -but was so not willing to spend a cent on anyone else, (me, for instance) -even for dinners or mini weekend trips. I wound up splitting half the tab on everything....and even spending more on him.

 

The next one was the guy I recently broke up with, B**. He was very sweet, well-mannered, a gentleman, and never let me pay for a thing.

 

But he was long-distance for me, and I didn't see how that could have worked out.

 

Besides, I learned he was waiting on finalization of his divorce, but had also had a relationship since his separation, and from which he had recently broken up.

 

I saw him a couple of times, enjoyed myself with him, but decided that I did not need to be mixed up with any of that. So I stopped seeing him. Later, all that changed.

 

Simultaneously, with B**'s intro, the Crooked Romeo had made several attempts via the online site to me.

 

My sister kept pointing him out and showing me all his messages wanting to "get to know me".

 

I didn't reply because he really didn't appeal to me in regards to looks even though he appeared to dress well from his photos and also, because he was, I thought, too persistent in wanting to meet/talk to me.

 

I deleted him.

 

Then one day, I was online in messenger, and this PM pops up. It was him and he began this very intelligent, and nice convo.

 

I politely told him that I was not interested in dating (him), and he just said "Fine", he "understood", and that he was more interested in friendship, anyway.

 

He made polite, friendly conversation and, I'll admit, I was impressed by his not 'pushing' anything.

 

After that, though, -almost every time I was online, there he was, continuing his 'friendly' convos.

 

He kept them short, I guess, so as not to annoy me (being more aware of what he was trying to accomplish than I did, actually), -and over a week or so of allowing the PMs, my 'caution flag' apparatus was majorly abandoned.

 

He was 'nice'.

 

Then he asked me out to dinner to meet me.

 

I accepted.

 

Now since this post is just the beginning, and I realize I am hijacking Jerbear's thread, I'll leave it there, unless more is asked of me.

 

-Rio

[littlekitty]

I'm nosey and want the rest of the story... Jerbear.. hope you don't mind.

 

After all, this is in keeping to discussing the pitfalls and problems of OD.

 

So Rio it sounds like it was an actual relationship then. I guess it's easy to sit on the outside saying 'it'll never happen to me...', but these guys are pro's and they are GOOD at what they do.

 

I think you might help alot of people avoid the same problem by sharing if you are willing.

[riobikini]

LK,

 

Of course, I'm willing, if it has potential to help someone, -but I also realize it will bring many comments and advice that, now, is coming far too late for me.

 

But, in keeping with the idea it will help someone...

 

Our dinner turned out to be an extremely nice one.

 

He had a talent for dressing well, and he knew perfect casual etiquette.

 

Again, I was (secretly, delightfully) impressed, -I thought "Finally! -maybe this online dating stuff might actually produce a contender!"

 

Now, if only I could go back and rethink that thought, -maybe reconsider in the opposite direction....

 

During the dinner, there was another moment where I took the time to remind him that I was still hesitant about dating anyone, (the last flutters of my inner caution flags descending, though a little relunctantly) though I didn't go into any details with him.

 

Again, he said he "understood".

 

Looking back, he didn't seem too concerned with the issue of the tone the relationship might take (whether romantic or not), and he continued to carry on with the 'friendship' theme all through dinner.

 

The friendship theme was fine with me, -I believe all good relationships should start that way...but.....

 

Within 30 minutes of the meeting, and taking my convo about my reluctance to date just yet as a que, this man had already casually introduced business and financial matters into the conversation.

 

It was sublime to personal matters, though, and hinged strongly (I thought) on career business talk than anything.

 

What I didn't realize, is that he was posing non-flag-bearing questions into the conversation which revealed my income level and possible ownership of particular assets.

 

But it was all carefully masked as general business talk.

 

Before I was turning the key to my front door, this man was on his way home going over everything he'd learned throughout the night's conversation.

 

He correctly assumed there were financial assets worth pursuing, and had a pretty good idea, I'm sure, of just how much of it he was going to pull out of me before he turned the key that evening in his own front door.

 

-Rio

[littlekitty]

Wow Rio. It goes to show how easy it can be for even the best of us to get taken in by a professional con artist. They use mind games and tricks which we simply don't notice and flag as you said.

 

Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry that you found yourself in that horrible position.

 

I hope others heed the warning and realise that it could happen to anyone.

[riobikini]

LK, All,

 

You're welcome.

 

My pain, your gain.

 

(Smile)

 

-Rio

[serial muse]

Rio - I'm so sorry for what happened to you. And I'm sure you want to put all of that behind you and stop talking about it, but I'm really curious to know the final act of your story with this guy. How did he get his hands on your money and possessions? Did he actually steal from your bank account/house/etc. somehow???

 

About the larger issue of OD:

 

While there are lots of people who have been burned by online contact (as I have), -it also, still does not necessarily put their intelligence in question, -nor does it instantly merit a big badge across anyones forehead stating 'Gullible'.

 

Scams happen to the best of us.

 

Perhaps, you simply haven't been a victim, at this time.

 

I used to stand in the shoes of those who swore they were not the 'type' to be an online victim...and was probably the least person you'd think of who'd allow anything even hinting of fraud or scam touch her life.

 

I can now, say (sadly) -that you can have a Harvard degree or a kindergarten education and still be a scam victim.

 

The thing is, I can't blame you for feeling burned - anyone would feel that way, and instinctively want to protect themselves as best they could. I don't think it's about being smart or not smart, or having a good radar or a bad one. There's a luck factor involved, as there is with meeting people in real life. My ex-husband, who I met in real life, committed adultery. Before that happened, I was one of those people who always assumed I "would know" (and to be honest, was a bit arrogant about it to friends of mine who had previously been through it.) But - I sure as he!! didn't know, and am now properly humbled.

 

Point is, you cannot always predict everything, and you cannot always ensure you'll be safe from hurt, no matter how smart or insightful you are. At some point, relationships are about trust, and there will always be people who take advantage of that trust. (a**h***s.) The only thing you can do is be as objective as possible about your options, and that includes the potential pitfalls of OD.

 

I just can't help thinking that you're throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I mean, absolutely - you shouldn't do OD if you don't want to! Of course, it's your choice.

 

But your experience, while dramatic and pretty awful, isn't typical. I think people do have a tendency to extrapolate from their individual experiences and apply them to the world at large, which is inherently untrue. I think you're certainly right, that it is only too easy to make up stuff and create a persona online. But generally, as LK and others have said, once you meet the person you can use the faculties you'd use anyway, to size up that person. You got taken in by a horrible scam artist, who probably applied his brand of scam artistry before the internet, and would continue to find other ways to use people if his computer were taken away. It's absolutely fair to blame the man, but I don't agree that it's the medium that's at fault.

[jerbear]

I'm nosey and want the rest of the story... Jerbear.. hope you don't mind.

 

After all, this is in keeping to discussing the pitfalls and problems of OD.

 

So Rio it sounds like it was an actual relationship then. I guess it's easy to sit on the outside saying 'it'll never happen to me...', but these guys are pro's and they are GOOD at what they do.

 

I think you might help alot of people avoid the same problem by sharing if you are willing.

 

If we can learn from each other's experience, so be it; SHARE AWAY please!

[riobikini]

SM,

 

After taking a beating with online dating, as I have, -I did what I normally do when I make a mistake: I researched it.

 

But the info out there is either so biased, incomplete, or simply so incorrect, I do not believe any of it speaks coherently, and honestly to the whole concept of online dating.

 

It's too big of a mess just yet, to say we have the 'right' answer to why the problems happen, how often they happen, and the 'good' vs the 'evil' of it all.

 

So the results from online dating is still being voiced on an individual, person by person, basis by those willing to speak up about it, -albeit, the news comes at a snail's pace.

 

Granted, we are much more apt to hear the 'bad' stuff than the 'good'.

 

As far as the sites are concerned with me, personally, -currently, I have let subscriptions expire in both sites (Yahoo & Match), -but in Yahoo, (and we all know why) they just won't take down my profile, after repeated attempts to remove it by their system.

 

Keep in mind, that this is one of the greatest complaints of members who find, after paying good money, -that they're replying to people who aren't even subscribers, any longer.

 

Could that be labeled a 'Consumer Trap'? (Roll of the eyes, here...and a sad half-smile.)

 

Since the expirations have occurred, and the removal of the profile is not 'working'...I decided to just leave it alone and see what happens.

 

I can't reply back, (actually glad I can't), -but I scan through the responses from time to time and, I honestly can't say that anything (anyone) has said anything so differently that I want to take a second look, -or try again.

 

I would actually feel rather stupid for giving it another try, so I just don't.

 

I figure that the Crooked Romeo, and the recent ex, B** (both having burned me rather seriously in different ways) came from those sites, and neither one of them deserved to breathe the same air I was breathing, -so why jump up in for a third dose?

 

I do better with relationships in real life...online sites are far too deceitful for my tastes.

 

(I have been reminded often in this thread, that bad things happen in real life, too....and I concur, -yet, my personal results have been better when I can smell the cologne they're wearing when I first say "hello".)

 

-Rio

 

P.S. Will post more on the 'how' issue of the scammer later on. I have an appointment to see in a few minutes and don't have time to post it right now.

[jerbear]

Rio:

 

The common theme is your sister is not a good matchmaker. I believe your OWN instincts are much better.

[riobikini]

Jerbear...(Smile) lil sis didn't choose them in the end...I did...it was my fault.

 

-Rio

[jerbear]

Jerbear...(Smile) lil sis didn't choose them in the end...I did...it was my fault.

 

-Rio

 

okay, fine bad advisors

[alphamale]

Could that be labeled a 'Consumer Trap'? (Roll of the eyes, here...and a sad half-smile.).

Every thime my subscription has expired within 3 or 4 days I'll get a "wink" or email from some sexy young female who is in her mid 20s and gorgeous. I never respond to them cause I know they are fakes. They are operatives that are being paid by the website to make you sign up for another subscription so you can retrieve their fake emails.

 

Online matchmaking is a total scam.

[riobikini]

RE:

 

SM: " I'm really curious to know the final act of your story with this guy. How did he get his hands on your money and possessions? Did he actually steal from your bank account/house/etc. somehow??? "

 

Serial Muse, -a few more of the details, as you wish...many of the complicated details are left out because this is still a board for posting short versions (if possible), and some parts of this can't be disclosed, just yet, for obvious reasons and is still ongoing.

 

In his online profile, Mr. Crooked Romeo said he was in his late forties, a real estate agent, and owned his own business, as well as stating some very, very appealing personal details about himself (he did an awful lot of bragging, saying over and over that he was a romantic in every way). He posted photos of his cars, including a silver Corvette, two BMWs, an expensive home in an exclusive area, and his HD bike, as well as himself standing in front of some of them.

 

Well, he was certainly not in his forties (mid fifties, -and looked every bit of it), so far there's nothing to date showing he ever had a real estate license, and the new business had just been formed ( he said 4-3 mos. old) with one man, living in Florida, as his partner. It was a car sales promotions business which supposedly took him to several surrounding south-eastern states, with an occasional trip elsewhere.

 

He said he was thinking about locating an office nearby and asked me which local banks were best to deal with.

 

He specifically wanted to know how I rated my own personal bank and (I thought) seemed to be focusing his questions on their services, -not my own business banking relationship. But I was wrong.

 

He was cleverly obtaining information as to how well established I was with my banks in not only the business relationship I had with them, -but who I knew and how well I knew those who worked there.

 

Later on, sticking with his plan, he chose to open an account at the bank where I had the best personal relationship with the employees.

 

By now, you have some idea that this was going to be a check scam. You are correct. But this man also had several connected plans in the works, simultaneously, to obtain as much $$ from me, in other ways, too, in the shortest possible amount of time.

 

He was very good at using whatever I said casually to open a conversation that brought his plans, somehow, into play. For instance: I was looking to buy a new car ( coincidence with chagrin attached) when he came into the picture.

 

Since he was in the 'car business', and "knew it well", he kindly offered to "look around" for the type of car I had in mind. Meanwhile, he reminded me, that he would also "assist me" in selling my old car (2001 Lincoln LS) as soon as I bought a new one.

 

He called me one day, sounding really excited about a BMW 5 series...had all the details...he'd been out of town...saw the model...thought I'd "just love it".

 

Long story short: I was about to lose my car. And did.

 

But that didn't happen right away, -meanwhile, he was, as he began to state (I was surprised) that he was "falling in love". (Sure.)

 

He actually came across as a bit vulnerable, and sweet when he made those statements. I wasn't in love with anybody...I hadn't known him long enough, nor was I (still) all that attracted to him...I was only in friendship mode. It kind of made me feel bad.

 

I now, realize, that my feeling inadequate in response to his stated feelings was also, exactly what he wanted. He was a great psychologist in that he knew people's natural response to alot of actions, statements, and behavior. That's what made him such a successful scammer.

 

The third way he was planning to bilk me was in scamming me out of my house, and as much personal property and real estate he could suck into the deal.

 

He began introducing comments of real estate investing into our conversations and even organized a trip to look at property he said he was interested in buying, himself, in Charleston, SC.

 

Now, he already knew that Charleston was one of my favorite week-end get-aways, because he'd pulled that out of me easily in benign, casual conversations over several weeks. He knew them all, and one by one, we ended up at each of those locations by coincidental 'chance' in connection with some bit of business he had there, etc. etc.

 

He knew how to entertain me, delight me, with those little 'surprise' week-end trips. Part of the plan.

 

Funny tho...I always wound up spending my money on him on these little trips he arranged....whatever money he spent, looking back, was simply to prime what I spent.

 

He was good. I was completely stupid.

 

Short version of the check scam: he wanted to set up an account at a bank I banked at...he didn't "have the time" necessary to handle some of the arrangements. He dropped off a sizable check to me to use as opening account money....my bank, because they knew me so well, 'overlooked' a few rules, allowed me to set up his account for him.

 

He calls me the same day the account is set up, same day the check goes in...and says to me "If you will -I'm out of town- write a check for XXXXX.XX amount of dollars and mail it to so-and-so for me, -it's a bill that has to be paid immediately (location: Florida)...thanks, -you're a sweetheart"

 

I was floored.

 

I said, "Look, this account was just opened, give it time for the money to show up."

 

He reminded me of the number of days the check would have to travel via snail mail to arrive on location in Florida and said he didn't think there would be a problem. Then he changed the subject and drifted off into other more pleasant -and distracting- conversation.

 

It was stupid, -but I wrote the check out of the brand new account and mailed it for him, -even signing off on his name, as he had asked.

 

The next day, the bank calls when he is out of town asking when he's coming in to complete the paperwork on the account...he "can't" make it (out of town excuse)...bank gets anxious....bank calls me and wants to close the account....

 

I immediately call Mr Romeo, he plays down the urgency of the problem and pretends to think for a moment or two, then he makes a bright suggestion: Why don't I cover the amount for him, until he returns from his trip? he says he'll "take care of the reimbursement" when he gets back.

 

Because I had dealt with that particular bank for so many years, had business accounts there, knew the children of employees and watched them grow up, I felt I had no choice but to save my personal relationships with them, -so I covered the whole amount from one of my accounts. Temporarily, I thought.

 

Simultaneous with this happening, Mr. Romeo had found a car for me....and was persistent in trying to get me to let him sell my Lincoln, -which was worth enough to fool with, by the retrospective look of things.

 

I had not yet received the title nor transfer of ownership for the new car...(it was, -er, tied up and kept getting pushed back for some odd reason). Of course, he was 'handling' the whole deal. Shoot me ***now***.

 

He was persistent enough to finally convince me to allow him to sell my old car without the settling of the new one. I won't even go into detail, here, -because it's too complicated, too sleek, and too obvious.

 

Unless you're in the middle of something with someone who is such a fabulous career criminal as this guy, that is.

 

Most of what he was trying to accomplish was apparently set to culminate in execution within three months time. That's the entire time I knew him.

 

The clincher to his whole set-up never happened. I caught on...too late to retain some things, but, at least, I did catch on.

 

Part of the reason I kept denying the obvious truth about what he was doing, was that he was so damned nice....believable.

 

He didn't wind up getting my house and other property he had designs on...that's because of a particular unexpected mistake he made...and it all blew up in his face.

 

He took what he had bilked out of me and ran back to his home state, and has been avoiding contact ever since....except....to text me every so often to say, "I really, really enjoyed being with you....I think I am still in love with you". WTF???!!!!!

 

He got plenty out of me...much more than I have told you about, here, -the thing is, that I am very aware of, -is that I wasn't the only woman he was doing this to. He was working several women at a time.

 

And, -like any working man works a full-time job with overtime, this man was working the internet dating sites, keeping the email exchanges hot.

 

Hope this gives you some of the details to watch for...and prevents this from happening to someone else.

 

The bile in your throat doesn't go away when something like this happens...but, I can honestly say, -almost, I guess, unbelievably, to you all, -that I understand that this was just one man actively pursuing an evil and disgusting way to earn his living and harm women.

 

I don't project what he has done on every man I meet.

 

Although, I am much more cautious in regards to the men I meet, wherever they happen to come from.

 

Take care.

 

-Rio