truthhurtz Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 I know I am. I just cant take the fighting, telling, screaming, and messes they do all the time! I cant stand my kids! I dont like spending time with them because all they do is fight! Even when I have them one on one they always seem to fight with me. (dont listen to me, yell at me) My kids are lazy. They never clean, and I have to ask them 3 times nicely, then finally yell for them to move thier butts & clean. My husband is hardly home, and it is usually just me and the kids. The Hubby goes out 4 drinks, and I am always stuck home. He never makes plans for us to go out. I need a life. I have lost who I am. I seriously want to go to sleep and not wake up. No, this is different than suicide, I would never. Please dont beat me up, I am being extremly honest here. I love my children, I just dont like being around them. I am a bad mom. Did I forget to mention I forgot who I was??????
climbergirl Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 I know I am. I just cant take the fighting, telling, screaming, and messes they do all the time! I cant stand my kids! I dont like spending time with them because all they do is fight! Even when I have them one on one they always seem to fight with me. (dont listen to me, yell at me) My kids are lazy. They never clean, and I have to ask them 3 times nicely, then finally yell for them to move thier butts & clean. My husband is hardly home, and it is usually just me and the kids. The Hubby goes out 4 drinks, and I am always stuck home. He never makes plans for us to go out. I need a life. I have lost who I am. I seriously want to go to sleep and not wake up. No, this is different than suicide, I would never. Please dont beat me up, I am being extremly honest here. I love my children, I just dont like being around them. I am a bad mom. Did I forget to mention I forgot who I was?????? The fact that you would post this says to me that you are not a bad mom. Please believe me on this--you just sound very stressed out, which in no way negates your ability as a mother. I feel like you do at times....and somebody (maybe your husband) needs to pick up some of the slack for you. You are not a bad mom, but damn, 24/7 of this crap (fighting, tattling etc) can and will grate on anyones nerves! The things that save me are my various hobbies that allow me to escape from it all..........that and a vacation now and then.
ImWithHer Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 I don't think you're a bad mom either. My kids drive me up the wall sometimes, too, and I often don't enjoy being around them. I really can't handle more than one at a time very well. One thing I noticed is that you said you have to ask three times before they'll do something, then you have to yell. Kids will get away with doing what they want for as long as they can - if you tell them, "I'm going to count to TEN" then they know they can wait until nine before obeying. My advice is, ask ONCE, and if you don't get immediate compliance, then discipline them immediately. They need to know that this is what will happen EVERYTIME. As far as forgeting who you are, you need to set up something with your husband where HE takes care of the kids while you do something that fulfils YOU. Take a class at the local community college, go for a bike ride, go see a movie by yourself, whatever. But it needs to be planned and it needs to be regular. I hope you are able to find yourself and enjoy spending time with your children again. Good luck.
Ladyjane14 Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 If you were REALLY a bad mom, you wouldn't be overly worried about your parenting skills. When in doubt...I turn to books. It makes me feel better to know as much as I can about any subject that I'm anxious about. It gets me focused on whatever problem is at hand. Here's an oldie but a goodie....Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish You can find all sorts of titles by using the search tools at online booksellers. The ones at Amazon and at Barnes and Noble are pretty easy to use.
RecordProducer Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 I know how you feel. I am claiming: you're a bad mom because you're unhappy. Believe me, when you become happy, you will become patient with your children and will love all the crap they put you through (speaking from my own experience!!!). Dump that a**h*** or at least forget him! Find a lover, be happy! And your kids will be happy too! You love them, you're just not able to take care of yourself now... not to mention the kids. I've been like you too, but my mom was there to help me. It takes time and patience. BTW, my kids also fight, they are 7-year old twin boys!
JayKay Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 YOu should read Susan Jeffer's book, "I"m OK, You're a Brat" She's a mom who didn't always like parenting and she wrote a really truthful, funny book about it. She says a lot of times parents beat themselves up because they think they are always supposed to find parenting joyful. A lot of times parenting is NOT joyful. It's hard, grueling work and you don't even get a paycheck at the end of the day. See if you can find it.
Sassy Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Parenting can be hard when you are the only one doing the parenting!! I know my daughter can be a pistle at times and drives me bannanas. My h tries to be the friend and i have to be the ogar all the time.
luvtoto Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 My kids are lazy. They never clean, and I have to ask them 3 times nicely, then finally yell for them to move thier butts & clean. It's time to put your foot down or somewhere in the vacinity. Sounds like your kids (and no offense) are undisciplined. If my daughter gets on my nerves and she is hard to be around, I take away the internet or the phone. She perks right up!! If my son starts acting up, I move the TV out of his room until his attitude get MUCH better. When they were younger, punishment lacked. But, it just got to the point where there behavior was driving me nuts!!! So, I cracked the whip so to say. But, it's hard when you never get a break. Are your kids younger? I can go to swimnastics or take a college class and I don't have to worry about them. They'll call if they need me. I once had a BF tell me, when I felt guilty about going out without them..."If you are in a good mood...it makes for a better mom"...or something like that. Hey...by the way, your hubby needs to help out more. That's a load of crap that he's rarely around. That wouldn't fly with me.
luvtoto Posted April 2, 2006 Posted April 2, 2006 ...and another thing.... If you are seriously unhappy, it will undoubtedly trickle down to the kids. It's a chain reaction.
7on Posted April 3, 2006 Posted April 3, 2006 When I was a kid my parents would make me do what they wanted to do. Like cross-stitching:rolleyes: Anyway - you're kids can't be ALL that bad, they are miniature versions of you afterall. If you don't like being around them, make them do things with you that you like doing. And if they snap back raise your and and slap them. pretty soon they'll get the idea and hopefully behave (unless they're too old for a good ole' spanking). Anyway you're not a bad mother until you stop caring about the things you posted about.
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