KnowHowLoveFeels Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 movinon, Wow, what an uplifting story. You are really smart and brave to walk away from that!
BeFree Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 My little sis was 24 when she married her 44 year old husband. Before I met him I thaught the idea of a man that age dating a girl her age was GROSS. I figured there had to be something really wrong with him. But when I met him, I realized he was the same mental age as my sister. He is not wealthy so she is not a gold digger. But they both love the same thing. The met dirt biking. So it can be ok. It just depends on the people involved.
RecordProducer Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Oh come on. I most certainly enjoy dating older men and making them feel absurdly ancient when they reference something and I'm like - what? Oh....that wasn't on the air when I was young. Captain Kangaroo? What? My husband tells me things like "I got my driver's licence when you were minus two years old!" However he doesn't like it when I tease him like "My mom became a grandma in your age!"
ladyinwaiting Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 I don't think there is any prima facie wrong with a 20 year age gap. I have a lot of female friends and collagues in their 30s who have married men in their 40s and 50s. When you are a woman out of your twenties, and want to settle down and get married and have a kid, your best bet is often an older man. Because both partners are mature and experienced, there is really no issue. Although I suspect the age gap may become a problem again later, when she's 50 and he's 70... A 40 year old and an 18 year old is a whole other story. I'm sure there are occasions when it works well, for there are many very mature 18 year olds who little little of worth in their immature companions. But I'm willing to bet most such relationships don't last. At 18, I was nothing like I am now, and neither were any of my friends. Also, whether its justifiable or not, I think that most women's opinion of a man who is in his 30s or 40s and dating an 18 year old instantly falls - it's just natural to figure he's very immature, he's horribly egotistical and needs to show off, or he likes controlling his women (I haven't known any older woman relationships, but I'd probably feel the same way). I'm sure that's not always the case in fact, but it's certainly the perception.
Noos Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 It may be okay now but it won't be later. My half-sister married a guy 21 years older (two years younger than our Dad). They have been married since 1976 but she cheated on him two years ago, chucked his stuff out of the house and moved her boyfriend in, who is the same age as she, and then, when her boyfriend left after six weeks, begged her older husband to comeback, (to avoid losing half her money in a divorce i think). She's one of these women that can't be alone. She complains about how old he is and I know they don't have sex anymore. What did she think would happen - did she think he'd aged backwards like Mork from Ork or something?
MrsHellFire Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 None of my business, and not a big deal, unless bad intentions are involved.
honeybunch2k5 Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 I think I"m in the minority here... I think it depends more on the character of the two people. Personally, I'm 19, and I prefer to date men in their late twenties to forty years old. And no, I do not do it for the money. And who's to say the it's only the man who can manipulate the woman? From my experience, most older guys are past the stage where they want to sow their wild oats or what have you. And I find them to be much more chivalrous in general. Older guys seem to be much more relationship oriented. However, if the young girl is only out for a good time, then I wouldn't suggest she date an older man. As far as I'm concerned, if an 18 year old girl is old enough to die in war or be sentenced like an adult, she is old enough to decide whether or not she wants to date an older man.
submart Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I'm 22 my man is turning 39 next month. That's a 16 yr gap. It's not gross. I'm not in it for money. He's not in it to have me as a trophy. We didn't intend for a relationship to develop. It's been 10 months now. Things are great. We have 1. common interests 2. good communication 3. similar values 4. similiar lifestyles/goals 5. mutual attration/liking of one another 6. mental/emotional soundness (i.e. no hang-ups, insecurity, etc) 7. similar sex drives/interests This is all I need. I could CARELESS what his age is! Sure, it's different, but with the avg. marriage lasting only 8 years people no longer are looking for "lifetime" partners. I may marry this guy someday. There's no guarantees in life. Life is short, so live it how you want. As long as your both legal consenting adults....go for it!
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