nice honest man Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 Should an 18-20yr woman date a 40yr old man? Any thoughts?
Art_Critic Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 No.. Common sense tells you the answer I have always believed that if you didn't grow up watching the same cartoons then there is too much gap..
a4a Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 No.. Common sense tells you the answer I have always believed that if you didn't grow up watching the same cartoons then there is too much gap.. OMG! Brilliant guideline to follow Art! Love it!
Art_Critic Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 OMG! Brilliant guideline to follow Art! Love it! Just remember that you heard it from me first.... It is an Art Original
a4a Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 Just remember that you heard it from me first.... It is an Art Original I will never, ever, ever, enter another relationship unless the prospect knows what a SLEESTACK is!
JayKay Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 Date? Maybe. Marry? I wouldn't suggest it unless you like the prospect of him dying 20-30 years before you do.
blind_otter Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 No.. Common sense tells you the answer I have always believed that if you didn't grow up watching the same cartoons then there is too much gap.. Oh come on. I most certainly enjoy dating older men and making them feel absurdly ancient when they reference something and I'm like - what? Oh....that wasn't on the air when I was young. Captain Kangaroo? What?
catgirl1927 Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 I will never, ever, ever, enter another relationship unless the prospect knows what a SLEESTACK is! This is SO true. Seriously. I think that a forty year old man dating an 18 year old is disgusting. IMHO, I'm sure someone will come up with an exception. I think a 40 year old woman dating an 18 year old guy is gross, too. That's too much of an age gap. It's like having sex with your kid. Gag. However, I think that the same age gap is fine if the younger person is 30. Hypocrisy? Probably. Just my opinion.
SoleMate Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 An 18 year old girl is close to being a child. She is susceptible to manipulation by a 40 year old man. A man that age he seeks out a young girl like that gives me the impression that he is looking for someone who is easy to push around. If he likes them young, I would suggest 28-32.
lilly36 Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 No, No, No...and for good measure NO!!!!!!!!!. It is absolutely inappropriate. Now, when you're 50 and she's 30 or 60 and 40, you can review the situation. She is still a kid! I don't care how mature she seems! My rule for my guy friends (who are late 20's) that like to date younger girls is they must be old enough to drink...legally. My personal rule is no less than 1-2 years younger, no more than 10 over. However, I'm female, and the maturity difference generally turns me off from dating younger men.
ehead Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 I'm going to go against the grain on this one. I agree there is some usefullness in stereotyping people based on age, and stereotyping gender-gap relationships, but I don't think you can make absolute statements. I really think it depends on the people involved. Woody Allen and his wife seem very happy together. And didn't anyone see Harold and Muade ? My girlfriend is 15 years younger than me, btw, and we both are very much in love, and very happy. She is my inspiration and my muse, and I hers. We've been in each others lives for about 9 months now ... I'm happier than I've been in years. Honestly, if people or society think it's gross or inappropriate, I simply couldn't give a damn. Her parents think I'm great, and she tells me I'm her sexiest boyfriend by far. yeah !
lilly36 Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 there are never absolutes, as ehead says, but I still feel the situation is inappropriate. I have always been mature for my age, have always hung out with older people, and have twice been in relationhips with men who were 10 years older than me. But I couldn't imagine dating someone who is 20 years my senior...and I am nearing 30. And I was hoping someone wouldn't pull out the Harold and Maude card. And don't forget that when Woody hooked up wiith Soon-Yi, she was his "daughter" of sorts. ehead- congrats on your relationship with your GF...I think that your case is an exception to the rule.
catgirl1927 Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 There are always exceptions. But in these daddy-daughter type relationships the guys usually are really happy because they are in complete control. The girls are probably happy too, because they have the approval of the father figure they're craving. They might be happy. Still grosses me out.
2sunny Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 My gal friend used to love to date men 20-25 years older than she was. She was very attractive, mind you, so she didn't NEED to do things this way, it was her preference. She realized however that when she said something to this one man - a comment about Alice Cooper, and his reply was "who is she?" that he needed to be dumped.... he he
catgirl1927 Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 Oh, I have friends who do it. They do it for the money. Guess what that makes them?
Art_Critic Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 Oh, I have friends who do it. They do it for the money. Guess what that makes them? If they let you watch..A good friend !!!
catgirl1927 Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 If they let you watch..A good friend !!! Bdoompshhhh!
MadDog Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 Oh, I have friends who do it. They do it for the money. Guess what that makes them? You ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke. . .? I was just about to say, if it's the classic sugar daddy situation, what's the big deal? If both parties are consenting adults, it's their right to do whatever they want. Hell if I'm single and in my 40's, I'd feel pretty pimpin' to date some hot girl in her 20's. Obviously I wouldn't expect it to be any real relationship but why can't I have some fun? Does dating always have to be serious? MD
ehead Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 See what I mean about stereotypes, hehe ? 1) I don't make a lot of money. 2) I definitely can't control my gf, nor would I want to. I understand everyones hesitation and skeptism. I was skeptical too. I'd be even more skeptical about a relationship between an 18 & 40 yo. My gf is 20, and I'm 35. Emotionally we probably meet close to the middle, around 27 or so. Honestly, her youth BOTH excites and frightens me, almost as if I'm waiting for her to just go totally wild at some point. If she does, there isn't anything I can do about it ... and indeed it wouldn't necessarily even be a bad thing, depending on HOW wild. I went too wild, and nearly killed myself, but that is another story. I can't help thinking sometimes that there is this ephemeral element to the whole thing ... but stranger things have happened. People have been known to fall in love at 20. Our relationships works because: 1) I am still young at heart, and am professionally, financially, and socially immature for my age. (in many ways I still act like I'm in my 20's). 2) She is very smart and mature for her age. 3) We both respect each other, and don't put a lot of weight on the concept of age. I treat her like a PERSON. Amazingly, people like to be treated nicely no matter what there age is. I rarely consider her age at all. 3) The age-gap actually introduces an interesting dynamic, in that we both have an expanded perspective. I consider it a plus, not a liability. I would be lying if I said the age-gap never had any influence though. We both look out for each other and support each other, but I'd have to say she probably relies on me more for support. I don't know if that is a gender thing or an age thing though ... or possibly just the way she is. We both look to each other for advice. It is amazing how much younger people can teach older people, if only the older people will open their hearts and their minds. She has taught me a great deal about life, both directly and indirectly. Quite frankly, she has taught me how to enjoy life again, how to really live. I had been in a coma.
MadDog Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 While we're on the topic of gold diggers: http://sugardaddie.com/ MD
2sunny Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 While we're on the topic of gold diggers: http://sugardaddie.com/ MD MD- That gal in the picture of that ad is not even attractive! Check out her teeth and smile! eeeeewwwwww. Why would they use that picture, the guy is attractive - I will say that!
MadDog Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 MD- That gal in the picture of that ad is not even attractive! Check out her teeth and smile! eeeeewwwwww. Why would they use that picture, the guy is attractive - I will say that! I know, she's not hot at all. That guy looks a little bit like a vampire but other than that I guess he's not that ugly. Out of curiousity I browsed through some of the girls on the site (ages 21-25) and I was expecting to see a bunch of dimes. To my surprise, I would rate barely any of the girls as hot. Most were pretty average looking or even pretty busted. I guess they don't realize how easy it is to get hot girls if you've got some money and don't come off as totally creepy. I'll be damned if I'm an old sugar daddy one day and my gold digger girlfriend isn't hot. I'm paying for a reason dummy and it's not for your personality! MD
stockmos Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 I think that a forty year old man dating an 18 year old is disgusting. IMHO, I'm sure someone will come up with an exception. I think a 40 year old woman dating an 18 year old guy is gross, too. That's too much of an age gap. It's like having sex with your kid. Why is it "disgusting"? I don't think it's anyone's business to judge what two consenting adults decide, and in most countries 18 is considered to be the age of adulthood. People used to (and some unfortunately still do) think gays were "disgusting" but the taboo has been rapidly eroded just it is being for age gap relationships. Society has changed so radically. It is now common for people to have several relationships in their lives. In addition, 40 is no longer the age it once was. People of 40 can be in better condition than 18 year olds, which did not used to be the case. many in their 40s embark on a whole new life. There are Ibiza DJs, or surfers, just as examples, into their 40s and 50s living "youthfully". People with this kind of lifestyle and outlook could (for example) be very comfortable with much younger people. Whether the 18 year old in question is mature... well, that's another matter. What I would say to the original poster is, go for it if you want, but be prepared for it not to last. People can go through life changes at any time, but 18-20 is a particularly strong period for change and growth. When I was 32 I had a 2 year relationship with someone who was at the start 18. She ended it, basically because she wanted to move on and live her own life, and we split amicably. Indeed, we are still very good friends. But now that I see her at 28 it is almost like meeting a different person - she has matured and become a far stronger, independent grown woman. There is a also a good website called http://www.agelesslove.com
justagirliegirl Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Yes but don't expect it to last. People change drastically in that 18-20 age group. There is a 20 year gap with me being older. It works out very well. When we are out nobody sees the age difference.
movinon05 Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 When I was 19, I dated a 39 year old man. My parents were not thrilled but they actually knew the man. He pursued me and my parents were worried that I was the one who would embarrass him. They thought he was a saint! Assumed he was being a gentleman when we were doing the nasty!! Little did they know, he was into drugs and more. He used to do coke with my college roommates while I watched and take us all out for filet mignon dinners. They thought he was great! Of course, they did! Geez! He even told my mother he was going to ask me to marry him before he said anything to me! When he did ask, I said, being naive, said yes, but he ran with that. He pushed for all he was worth. In the end, I was the one who realized it wasn't going to work. I knew the drug problem would not go away. I knew I still had a whole life ahead of me. I ended the relationship. And my parents ended up feeling sorry for him!!! They never gave me any credit until I told them about the drugs many years later. I was naive, but he was even more naive. I don't believe that age gap when there is a "teenager" involved, can really work. If they're in it for just having fun, whatever. But in reality, I don't think any teenager is emotionally ready for a LTR with someone 20 years older. Too much living to do.
Recommended Posts