Meaplus3 Posted April 4, 2006 Posted April 4, 2006 How can it feel "so right" if what you are doing is WRONG? I don't mean not pass judgement here, but do you see how your logic and sensibility have gone awry? I am an OW, too. But every time I think of my MM, I have to kick myself out of doing so. It is wrong and it will lead to no good for ANY ONE involved. You are RIGHT!! This is WRONG! I have know idea how I became feeling this way, feeling's are so confusing! I feel like if I don't explore this situation more I will have missed out on something so GREAT even if it's just a short term thing. This is just how I feel.
silktricks Posted April 4, 2006 Posted April 4, 2006 There are so many accomplished, intelligent, dignified OW who write on this forum.....In my own humble opinion, these MM are complete idiots for letting us go. There are also a number of accomplished, intelligent, dignified wives who write. In our humble opinions, these MM are complete idiots for letting us go as well.
Meaplus3 Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 I understand where you are coming from when you say it feels so right..... I was the same way when ever i would talk to him or see him it did feel so right like we were ment to be together but it was so wrong when i really stepped back and looked at the big picture it was wrong of me to feel that way when i already had a husband.... I miss my mm daily and I still hope that maybe someday we will be able to talk again but for now we are apart he is dealing with his stuff with his w and i am left on my end to keep on going on with out him..... i can't call him i can't email him and i can't text him in fear that she might find out and get suspicious it absolutely sucks but now that i am several weeks into it i am starting to see how wrong it was for me to even start the a with him..... but at the time it did feel so wright.... I am just getting back to this post and for some reason I did not get a chance to read this before. I want to thank you for your understanding of this situation. I have not been talking with him that much over the past couple of week's because I am so afraid of getting caught. I never emailed him or used text messgage's it was strictly a on the phone thing. Tonight I called him to tell him that I have not been able to speak to him just becasue I was unable to get time alone to talk. I made sure to let him know that I was thinking of him. Why am I doing this to myself when I know we can never really be together. I guess since we have had an EA for a while now and we have also fooled around it makes it hard for me walk away. How were you able to walk away?
kpin124 Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 I am just getting back to this post and for some reason I did not get a chance to read this before. I want to thank you for your understanding of this situation. I have not been talking with him that much over the past couple of week's because I am so afraid of getting caught. I never emailed him or used text messgage's it was strictly a on the phone thing. Tonight I called him to tell him that I have not been able to speak to him just becasue I was unable to get time alone to talk. I made sure to let him know that I was thinking of him. Why am I doing this to myself when I know we can never really be together. I guess since we have had an EA for a while now and we have also fooled around it makes it hard for me walk away. How were you able to walk away? I haven't been able to completly walk away if i had i would have gotten rid of his pictures and erased the last messages he left me on my voice mail.... i miss him every day it has gotten easier but i know the day will come when he will contact me and i don't even know what i am going to do when that happens.... i guess alot of it will depend where i am at in my life and with my h...... mm had dissappeared at least twice during our relationship but always finds his way back to me and i just can't help but wonder why does he always find his way back to me........I am very weak when it comes to him just the sound of his voice gives me butterflies...... I would truly say that if i had meet him before getting married i probably wouldn't of married my husband..... It is really hard and everday is a struggle but some how i manage to get thru..... I wish you the best of luck with your situation..
Walking away Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 There are also a number of accomplished, intelligent, dignified wives who write. In our humble opinions, these MM are complete idiots for letting us go as well. Yes, you are right. Forgive me for my insensitivity. You are absolutely right. Let's just say that these MM are idiots, period.
Shiraz Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 Hi everyone...does anyone else feel like they are involved with their mm for a reason? I seem to think that me and him fell in love because we were supossed to. Sometimes we have so much in common its scary. Did anyone else find their soulmate while havin their A? and if so...how are we suppossed to let them go Carbon copy here. We have a chemistry, a magnet between the two of us.
Meaplus3 Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 I haven't been able to completly walk away if i had i would have gotten rid of his pictures and erased the last messages he left me on my voice mail.... i miss him every day it has gotten easier but i know the day will come when he will contact me and i don't even know what i am going to do when that happens.... i guess alot of it will depend where i am at in my life and with my h...... mm had dissappeared at least twice during our relationship but always finds his way back to me and i just can't help but wonder why does he always find his way back to me........I am very weak when it comes to him just the sound of his voice gives me butterflies...... I would truly say that if i had meet him before getting married i probably wouldn't of married my husband..... It is really hard and everday is a struggle but some how i manage to get thru..... I wish you the best of luck with your situation.. Thanks again for your response and advice. It sound's to me like we are feeling alot of the same thing's in relation to the our MM's. I saw him today, just for a few minutes. He lives next door which makes this whole thing even worse. He came over to me while I was sitting out front working on a project. He said hi and we chatted for a few minutes, that was it. Oh this is so DARN difficult. I know nothing can become of this, but by golly when you are so majorly attracted to someone and they are right under your nose it makes the whole situation ten times harder, especially since the feeling is mutual! Oh well I will just have to suck it up and know that if he and I were not married we might have made a good match. How are you doing?
My_Other_I Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Hi everyone...does anyone else feel like they are involved with their mm for a reason? I seem to think that me and him fell in love because we were supossed to. Sometimes we have so much in common its scary. Did anyone else find their soulmate while havin their A? and if so...how are we suppossed to let them go I see this as a very typical assumption and feeling of other women who are in A for love. It all sounds too much the same, many stories and feelings described match almost perfectly. I'm sorry to say but I don't believe in soulmates (I once have), I believe in compatibility, maturity and willingness to compromise. There was a reason for you to hook up with a MM, but it wasn't fate, it was more likely low self-esteem or other issues.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted April 12, 2006 Posted April 12, 2006 There was a reason for you to hook up with a MM, but it wasn't fate, it was more likely low self-esteem or other issues. I was angry with my H, and I was not happy in my marriage. My MM was great looking, too. And one night, I just poured out all my feelings to him. I would never knowingly hook up with a MM, but that initial night, I had so much pent up emotions that I just lost it. I kissed him... and that was the beginning of having my heart broken bits by bits. My pain is my own doing, of course! I want to punish myself. I want to feel guilty for what i've done. I want to stop thinking about him. We don't even contact each other any more! So why can't I just forget about him? why can't he just be another guy whom I find attractive? It was because I have given my body and my heart. That I cannot take back... perhaps because I've never been intimate with any one other than my H?? I don't know! M_O_I, I do not believe in fate either. I do not believe in soulmates or the perfect 'one' any more. I have been married 10 years and we would be considered to have a 'perfect' family. If I was meant to be with my H, then why would I be soooooo unhappy wtih him? Either I've lost my faith in love... or this love thing is cr*p made up by our own fantasies!
Sami_D Posted April 12, 2006 Posted April 12, 2006 I'm sorry to say but I don't believe in soulmates (I once have), I believe in compatibility, maturity and willingness to compromise. There was a reason for you to hook up with a MM, but it wasn't fate, it was more likely low self-esteem or other issues. I'll answer this one too. For me, there was definitely a feeling that this person (MM) was someone I could very easily live my life with. There was so much compatibility, ease of being with him, and common interests and way of looking at things. I don't hold with the 'soul mates' thing, or even the 'meant to be' idea. I just looked at the man as a person, and US as a good team. So that's the 'why him' part. Now for the 'why him despite the fact he was M': A large part of the reason I drifted into the MM/OW thing was that I wasn't ready at that time in my life for dating and boyfriends and full-on being with someone. It was 2 years since I'd got out of a really bad situation (physically abusive situation), I'd just lost my Mum, and only 3 years since my Dad had died. So... not ready for commitment. And I had met this great man who I had a lot of fun conversations with, and who said his M was dead. Where was the harm..? (remember, it stayed online for a year) That's basically how and why it happened. Nothing to do with fate, I think.
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