alphamale Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 My pain is a cause from me accepting him and him not being honest with himself from the beginning... The person we lie to most often is ourself...
Author basscatcher Posted March 31, 2006 Author Posted March 31, 2006 Now, mind you, alpha himself can down quite a few bacardi and diet cokes with heavy lime :lmao: Lemoen/Cokes here... Max. is 4-5 drinks in a 5 hour period.. (no driving) This is rare for me to drink this many--this is on occassion... Typical for me is 2-3 lemoen/cokes and maybe a shot of baileys/butterscotch in a 5 hour period. I can only drink one night on the weekends. I can't drink two nights in a row.
blind_otter Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 Getting drunk or being the drunk is no longer acceptable behavior in most situations anymore Staying/driving sober is seen as responsible I hope I can find people who are more like that because where I live and people my age seem to be fixated on drinking.
MadDog Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 I hope I can find people who are more like that because where I live and people my age seem to be fixated on drinking. That's because it's hard to convince girls to do threesomes without them having at least a drink or two. MD
alphamale Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 Getting drunk or being the drunk is no longer acceptable behavior in most situations anymore Staying/driving sober is seen as responsible I disagree... nothing has changed. What has happened is that awareness has gotten better and penalties have gotten tougher but none of this has had any effect on anything. Go to any college campus on Sat nite and you'll see 19 yrs olds drunk as a skunk. Go to any bar at closing time and you'll see all these hammered people walk out and get in their cars and drive home. Everyone still ooohhh and aaahhhs over the cool Bud Lite commerical at Superbowl.....Beer and wine and spirit sales are at an all time high. Sure people don't have the 3 martini lunches anymore and go back to the office but thats only because most companies won't pay for alcohol anymore. Nothing substantial has changed as far as I can see since I became legal in 1986.
blind_otter Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 That's because it's hard to convince girls to do threesomes without them having at least a drink or two. MD Uh uh. that's totally cocaine and ecstasy, my man.
Art_Critic Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 Sure people don't have the 3 martini lunches anymore and go back to the office but thats only because most companies won't pay for alcohol anymore. Bunk.. it has nothing to do with expense accounts.. Workmans comp and health insurance as well as lawsuits have driven the 3 martini lunches away. And of course education .. companies don't want the low production of drunk workers either. You can find whatever you want.. You Alpha are a heavy drinker at times.. so you go to places and hang around people that are into drinking. therfore you only see that side You can also find places where there aren't drunk 21 year olds puking on the floors.. Expand your horizons and get out more.
Author basscatcher Posted March 31, 2006 Author Posted March 31, 2006 I did a search for Building Healthy Relationships.. There was a lot of interesting stuff in there that I knew but never put in perspective. It's strange how we know stuff but we don't put it to use when its important. I found more stuff on Boundries also..
whichwayisup Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 For me, as I don't drink at all (gives me migraines), I can't stand being around people that are extremely drunk.
alphamale Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 You can find whatever you want.. Stats don't lie A_C....the rates of alcoholism and drug abuse are higher than ever in the United States.
Art_Critic Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Stats don't lie A_C....the rates of alcoholism and drug abuse are higher than ever in the United States. show me the money
Author basscatcher Posted April 1, 2006 Author Posted April 1, 2006 Ok So last night I again had a 2 hour conversation about belief systems, proper use of words, removing negative speech and speaking in futuritives. As we talked and he guided me to more possitive thinking and speaking I began to notice more and more how Charlie leaves a negative taste in my mouth.. Charlie and I spoke on the phone last night for about 5 minutes and it got nasty and we both hung up on each other about the same time.. The more he contact's me the more I see reasons to totally let him go.. Everytime he speaks to me (tries to) I get more irritated with him. He can't carry a normal conversation, he doesn't speak about his thoughts on stuff or how he feels about things.. (Not regarding him and I). The man just doesn't have the intelligence to speak in communicative form.. He is more of a yes, I don't know, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, I don't know type of guy. YUCK... :sick: He tries to be sweet to me and I get irritated with him because I want someone whom I can communicate with that has some intellectual reasoning and opinions and ideas. Charlie talks like he didn't pass the 2nd grade.. Sorry- that is a bit harsh in judgement.. I am just getting so annoyed by him.. I know without any doubts he and I will not move forward. He is becoming dull and non-interesting to me.. He is becoming boring because he isn't growing. He isn't attempting to grow and move forward with himself.. It is so ugly to me. My friend and I talked about so much and he praised me for my growth. He seen changes in me since last year.. He gave praise for it and it really made me feel so good about myself. I use to repell him away from me and now I am getting praise from him.. I am making little steps and sometimes a large step or two.. It felt so good.. Charlie can't do that. I asked how do I get past the lingering feelings that keep holding on and he siad that I needed to work on changing my core belief system. I was raised with drama and anxiety and it had become the norm for me. Normal for me was to be reactive, to feel anxiety. It was my comfort zone because it was what I was use to in my life. When I practice stepping out of what was normal to me and reprogram myself the norm will not be anxiety and reactiveness it will be peaceful because I am learning that if it doesn't feel good, is possitive for my life, helps me grow, gives me possitive feedback and support and it doesn't better my life in a healthy way then I will let it go without feeling like I'm losing something.. Stepping out of my norm is going to be hard. Normal for me is ciaos, anxiety, drama, tension, problems (that is uncomfortable- true) for me to step out of those things is going to be even more uncomfortable because I have lived 37 yrs of my life with all this garbage and its time to take the garbage out and not bring it back in. It will take work and lots of support. I can see as each day goes by letting go of Charlie and the dreams is getting easier and easier.. I am once again back on my path of growth. I am moving in the right direction and it feels so wonderful.. One day I will say 'Charlie who?" ---------- ----------------- --------- My son and I went to my cousins wedding today. It was beautiful and I didn't feel jealousy or depressed because they found happiness in one another and I don't have it. I am content. We are driving North to the reception this afternoon. I need to go take a nap. Later.
whichwayisup Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Ok So last night I again had a 2 hour conversation about belief systems, proper use of words, removing negative speech and speaking in futuritives. As we talked and he guided me to more possitive thinking and speaking I began to notice more and more how Charlie leaves a negative taste in my mouth.. He wants you to change, yet he is unwilling to do any changes on himself...Not a good sign. Charlie and I spoke on the phone last night for about 5 minutes and it got nasty and we both hung up on each other about the same time.. The more he contact's me the more I see reasons to totally let him go.. That's what it's coming down to? I say, YOU take matters into your own hands, don't "wait" for him to decide what to do while he's on this "break." I say YOU break up with him first. Everytime he speaks to me (tries to) I get more irritated with him. He can't carry a normal conversation, he doesn't speak about his thoughts on stuff or how he feels about things.. (Not regarding him and I). The man just doesn't have the intelligence to speak in communicative form.. He is more of a yes, I don't know, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, I don't know type of guy. That's because right now you two are not a couple, you're on a break, so therefore that probably is his mindset. And it also seems he's detached emotionally from you. YUCK... He tries to be sweet to me and I get irritated with him because I want someone whom I can communicate with that has some intellectual reasoning and opinions and ideas. Charlie talks like he didn't pass the 2nd grade.. Sorry- that is a bit harsh in judgement.. I am just getting so annoyed by him.. Yes, another eye opener. It's a good thing and it's you closer to ending it with him and emotionally you're almost prepared... I know without any doubts he and I will not move forward. He is becoming dull and non-interesting to me.. He is becoming boring because he isn't growing. He isn't attempting to grow and move forward with himself.. It is so ugly to me. Again, your eyes are open and you're seeing the full picture more than you were last week. My friend and I talked about so much and he praised me for my growth. He seen changes in me since last year.. He gave praise for it and it really made me feel so good about myself. I use to repell him away from me and now I am getting praise from him.. I am making little steps and sometimes a large step or two.. It felt so good.. Charlie can't do that. That's good! So keep on working on that good stuff. Learn to praise yourself too so you don't need anybody else's approval to make YOU feel good about you! Meaning, don't ever rely on Charlie or anyone else to make you a happy and well rounded person. I asked how do I get past the lingering feelings that keep holding on and he siad that I needed to work on changing my core belief system. I was raised with drama and anxiety and it had become the norm for me. Normal for me was to be reactive, to feel anxiety. It was my comfort zone because it was what I was use to in my life. When I practice stepping out of what was normal to me and reprogram myself the norm will not be anxiety and reactiveness it will be peaceful because I am learning that if it doesn't feel good, is possitive for my life, helps me grow, gives me possitive feedback and support and it doesn't better my life in a healthy way then I will let it go without feeling like I'm losing something.. It is good to step out of yourself and learn how to change past behaviours. Keep going! I'm proud of you too!! Stepping out of my norm is going to be hard. Normal for me is ciaos, anxiety, drama, tension, problems (that is uncomfortable- true) for me to step out of those things is going to be even more uncomfortable because I have lived 37 yrs of my life with all this garbage and its time to take the garbage out and not bring it back in. Have you considered trying CBT? Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? That really could help you along with the changes you want to make. It will take work and lots of support. You have alot of support here too! Yuppers! What you put into it is what you get out of it. My famous saying! I can see as each day goes by letting go of Charlie and the dreams is getting easier and easier.. I am once again back on my path of growth. I am moving in the right direction and it feels so wonderful.. One day I will say 'Charlie who?" Maybe, maybe not. This situation has made you GROW and learn about you. In a good way and a bad way. Just don't let the bad cloud out some of the good. Hopefully one day you'lll look back and say I knew a man named Charlie...And just feel nothing.
Author basscatcher Posted April 2, 2006 Author Posted April 2, 2006 He wants you to change, yet he is unwilling to do any changes on himself...Not a good sign. I think you misunderstood my first paragraph.. Its my friend (alpha male type man) that wants me to change.. Change for the better.. He has been on the path of change with himself continuely.. I on the other had fell off my path and he is happy to see me back on it and has been willing to step back into my life again as a friend and help me because I am open now.. Charlie wants me to accept what is... I can't.. I believe two people are supoose to grow together when they are a couple and he doesn't want to grow.. I have too. It is something I have been striving at since I was a kid. I have always sought info to help me be happier, healthier and live fuller in life. Thank You WWIU
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