peegee Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 Ok started going NC with ex after weeks of talking and dragging it out there are hopes there for a second chance but not putting my life savings on it. So i read about the elastic band trick where evrytime you think about them you twang it on your wrist the mind accociates that pain in the end with those thoughts, so just a a test i took it to the next level get one of those fake pens that gives you a little shock when you press the top Extreme i know but it is helping. allthough i am now scared to use a normal pen. This isnt to be taken to seriously but was wondering if other people had ways of putting thoughts out of their head lets share never know might help people. peegee:D
CaliGuy Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 Whenever you have thoughts of the ex have three things in handy that you love to do and think about those things. You should set aside time in your day, maybe 15 minutes that you will allow yourself to think about the ex. Then when the 15 minutes is up, FORCE yourself to think about the good things you like to do. It takes a while but with practice you'll find you are thinking of fun things more and more and the ex less and less.
riobikini Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 PeeGee: "..was wondering if other people had ways of putting thoughts out of their head -lets share- never know, might help people." I just remember the element of his cruelty, the painful way my heart ached....and there you go: the perfect formula for forgetting. At least, it's supposed to be. -Rio
CaliGuy Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 I just remember the element of his cruelty, the painful way my heart ached....and there you go: the perfect formula for forgetting. At least, it's supposed to be. -Rio True. When I have good thoughts about the ex, I remind myself that she had more negative qualities than good. That tends to straighten me up. There are much better women out there for me
ICantStopLovinHim Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 My problem is i cant seem to remember any of the bad times. Why??? I dont know i just can't. All i think about is him......especially when im here at work all day i write emails to him text him etc. etc. usually i erase them before i send them because in my situation he is doing the NO CONTACT. Baisically he wantes me to leave him alone, And every day i pray god would give me the strength to do just that. I cant. I cry at work i feel depressed all the time. I just want to know does he ever think of me? Does he hurt like i do? Do things around him make him think of me like I think of him? The answer is most likely no. To make things worse I have another relationship i have been in for three years. Yes people you read it right i broke up with my ex THREE years ago. We tried the friends thing but it didnt work. We spoke a few days ago and he has made it clear he wants me to leave him alone but i just cant.... Oh man im really pathetic......
hurtbeyondwords Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 Oh man im really pathetic...... That's not true at all and deep down I know you feel the same. Everyone is different, just because some people can move on quickly does not mean you have to. I would suggest finding the strength to let go. I am reading a book that teaches you how while not denying your grief. I strongly reccomend it. It's called how to heal a broken heart in 30 days. It walks you though the process one day at a time. It sounds like you never gave yourself the chance to let go. Do this for yourself. Not your ex, not your partner, for yourself.
ICantStopLovinHim Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 Thank you i think i will go get that book as soon as i get out of here. Wonder how i would explain reading that one to my current b/f? He has no clue about my feelings towards my ex.....you right i didnt give time to heal I got with my current b/f trying to get over my ex and it didnt help...all i ended up with is a going no where relationship and a new baby.
hurtbeyondwords Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 Your partner does not have to know if you dont want them to. Each chapter is short and there is one a day. Keep it at work and read it there. If you can't find that particular book there are many others. You will be surprised how much it helps though. Good luck:)
ICantStopLovinHim Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 Im sorry i feel like i have totally taken over this thread, but im not even sure a book would work sweetie. I went and got another man and had a child. I started another family. three years later he is still all i think about all day every day.....i just cant let him go. He was the one and i know it.....i was the one who left him and something i will regret for the rest of my life.
hurtbeyondwords Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 Im sorry to hear how you are feeling. I can't imagine being in your shoes. You do however have a baby who Im sure you wouldnt give up for the world. Think of the positives right now. You owe it to yourself to find closure, I hope you find it.
CaliGuy Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 Im sorry i feel like i have totally taken over this thread, but im not even sure a book would work sweetie. I went and got another man and had a child. I started another family. three years later he is still all i think about all day every day.....i just cant let him go. He was the one and i know it.....i was the one who left him and something i will regret for the rest of my life. How do you know he was the one? If he was, you'd still be with him. I'm sure his negatives were enough for you to move on and find someone else then so they still apply now. We tend to put someone whom we haven't seen in a while (and loved) on a pedestal. You really do have to learn to let go. It's not fair to the man you are with now. It's been three years, I really think you would benefit from seeing a professional counselor.
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