blueberry Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 heya well i came home tonight from work after spending last night at a friends and things were a little better. he is still way off kilter..he was alright (read: responding to me) when i got home and we had a little chat but i didnt push the issue as he didnt seem to want to delve too much. hes gone out with his mates for a while, methinks it may be all night though. i dunno, i feel better, like he is softening - his body language was good and he kissed me hello (and goodbye mind you!) so i'll sit with you guys and hope hes coming home tonight and do my best not to call. london can be a dangerous place (in many senses of the word!), hes been pretty keen to get out and twisted lately.. each time we fight like this (and obviously get back together) i swear to myself that i wont let it happen again....and then it does. so i wonder, how long do i expect to persevere with this? am i flogging a dead horse? mx
KittenMoon Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 Blue- Do you see yourself being happy with him in six months? A year? Five years? Are you happy with the current situation? What if it never changes, can you deal with that? Where do you draw the line?
Author blueberry Posted March 29, 2006 Author Posted March 29, 2006 when i close my eyes and think of my future he still appears easily to me... however we have such an uphill battle to climb if we do decide to "tough-it-out". we have unusual conditions; our families are split across the world and our backgrounds could_not be any more different - this can either make us or break us.
blind_otter Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 hmmmm.....I find myself in those kinds of relationships all the time, so I dunno what to say other than to lend you my support. hugs.
hurtbeyondwords Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 Ive been reading your threads blueberry, Im sorry for what you are going through. Remember, things that are meant to be will have no roadblocks. Have faith
Author blueberry Posted March 30, 2006 Author Posted March 30, 2006 a brand new day... well he didnt come home afterall last night. i woke up this morning, once again to an empty bed. and once again i shed a tear even before i had spoken a word. anyways, im taking the chickens way out today and not going in to work. i just dont want to deal with it all today. nothing wrong with a bit of wallowing from time to time surely!?.. mx
littlekitty Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 I don't think so Blue!! Sometimes we all want to do a Bridget... "I choose Vodka... and Chaka Khan!!" Work is good the rest of the time though, it does help keep your mind off things and keep you busy. So don't get caught in a rut.... It must be so hard trying to deal with this every day unsure of where you stand. Hugs.
No Foolin Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 Chaka Khan rocks!!! good taste in music littlekitty No Foolin
ImWithHim Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 Blueberry - I don't know the backstory to this, but I have to say your pain is quite clear in your writing. I wish you all the luck in getting through these hard times and working things out with him. He may need his space right now to work some things out himself, but I would really want to sit and talk frankly with him about where he is going on these nights out in which he doesn't return by morning.
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