Lishy Posted April 4, 2006 Posted April 4, 2006 WHOA! Calm down. You are NOT a nut. You are feeling this way for a reason, he is making you feel insecure! I think you should sit back and think about wether you really need this guy in your life - Relationships should feel happy and easy going, not like this! You are not nuts you are picking up on something and your gut is warning you to be careful with this guy!
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 You are feeling this way for a reason, he is making you feel insecure! You are not nuts you are picking up on something and your gut is warning you to be careful with this guy! The old "your gut is the voice of God" philosophy. I disagree - sometimes gut instinct is right, sometimes wrong. And no-one makes us feel anything - we usually have a choice as to how we take things. Sunnie, I really think you need the therapy. You're working yourself into a panic here. Also, you seem unable to look beyond your own feelings - your guy is probably genuinely upset about the car.
Author sunnie23 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Posted April 5, 2006 i've never tried therapy before, just meds and the hypno-stuff, but today i made appointments for consultations with two. i hope it's enough to help me i feel like i should be committed. One day i am on top of the world and nothing can bring me down, the next day all it takes is an unreplied txt and i am on the floor in agony. The worst part is that I can completely see how nuts I seem. I just keep thinking that if this is how i feel then he is not the right one for me and I should end it. But then I also think that if it is my issues, I could be throwing away a great guy. Last night we hung out and he was exactly the same as he's always been, and for some reason it shocked me. I was completely expecting him to either break up with me or instigate something so i'd break up with him. everytime we hang out now this is the thought process i go through...and he never breaks up with me and i never learn. is it possible that i'm this f'd up? i'm completely normal when i'm single but once i'm in a relationship i turn into a complete wackjob. i just think so much. and worry. thanks everybody for being here. i think i would have torn my hair out weeks ago if it weren't for this post.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 is it possible that i'm this f'd up? i'm completely normal when i'm single but once i'm in a relationship i turn into a complete wackjob. Yeah, it's possible. Especially if you have childhood echoes or other issues. i just think so much. and worry. thanks everybody for being here. i think i would have torn my hair out weeks ago if it weren't for this post. Our pleasure. Well done for making the therapist appointments. Hopefully this will help you straighten some of your thinking out. All of us need this at some point
kitten chick Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 is it possible that i'm this f'd up? i'm completely normal when i'm single but once i'm in a relationship i turn into a complete wackjob. IME, I feel a bunch of these things and get all paranoid when I'm getting into a bad relationship but never a good one. It took me a long time to figure it out. I don't question a relationship at all when it's a good one. That's just my experience.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 IME, I feel a bunch of these things and get all paranoid when I'm getting into a bad relationship but never a good one. Have you ever wondered if the causality runs the other way - you acting paranoid makes a relationship go bad?
kitten chick Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Have you ever wondered if the causality runs the other way - you acting paranoid makes a relationship go bad? Yeah I have but then I look at the person I was dating in hindsight and realize how bad they were for me. That's why it took me so long to figure it out. I'm starting to learn to trust my gut instincts.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 That's why it took me so long to figure it out. I'm starting to learn to trust my gut instincts. Good for you! Just remember they're not infallible
Author sunnie23 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Posted April 5, 2006 i am inclined to think that my paranoia is the result of a bad relationship as well. the only thing is that i have felt this way in every single one of my relationships, and in hindsight for me nothing really was wrong until i got paranoid. which is why i'm hanging on to this one. my gut instinct tells me every day that he is going to break up with me - and every day, he does not.
blind_otter Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Have you had these problems in the past as well, in previous relationship? Have these problems occured with friendships as well?
Author sunnie23 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Posted April 5, 2006 yes and yes. the only exception is my first relationship - but after the honeymoon phase ended the paranoia began, and i know it was the reason for the breakup (we talked about it recently). and yes i worry about friends too, but not to this extent that I do my relationships.
blind_otter Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 It sounds like you have an attachment disorder. I say this from what you describe and because of the added element of the anxiety in friendships. Were you an anxious child?
Author sunnie23 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Posted April 5, 2006 yes i was very anxious as a child. i'm just doing some reading and it looks like this is common in adoptees. when i was 11 i found out i had been adopted by my father. i met my biological father when i was 23, about three years ago.
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