overseas2004 Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 Hi all, I will try to make this short. Met a guy on a plane going to Europe in a country which I come from originally. I stayed in the city that he lives in for 2 weeks and we saw each other everyday. After about a two weeks he spent the night in my bed but he did not sleep with me although he was totally turned on and so was I. He said he felt that "it would only be good for our relationship to wait". He also said that he didnt have condoms and was hypocondriac about AIDS. Well I agreed with him. I left on a business trip to another European country and we kept in contact but it was mostly me doing the callling. On my way back to the States he proposed that I come and visit him again if I could get time off. I did, and I went back for another week. This time we slept together. At the end of my trip we made plans to see each other in May again. When I left he asked me if I would get an AIDS test before I came back. He told me he would get one too. He said that he would like to start having children with me and that we should get married soon. This totally threw me for a loop. I knew that we fell in love fast. I felt it too. And we are both older... 38 to be exact. According to him he is eager to get married and have children. And he knows that I am worried about waiting too much longer. By the way, one added important fact is that he is totally stunning. Women chase after him like crazy. And the town he lives in has many more women than men. . Yet, I found him to be very serious and reasonable. He was also wonderful to me at all times that I was there. The only thing that bothers me is that when we are apart I am the one to maintain the contact really. He is very bad at that. I tried to talk to him about it twice in a very calm and rational tone. He did not give convincing arguments about it. Said he was crazy busy and that when he gets in its too late to call me. He has continued this behavior now that I am in the States and the excuse of course of it being too late is now hogwash since I am six hours behind him in time. I know we are far apart and I certainly dont expect daily calls. But he has money to call and we have the ability to exchange SMS. The other day I decided to stop contacting him to see what happens. He only sent me one SMS so far asking "are you mad at me or something". I told him "no I am just feeling sick, have stomach flu". He was polite and inquired further about me being sick and told me to call him with what the doctor says. Since then 2 days ago... nothing. Its hard for me to determine what is going on here. I dont know him well enough. And I dont know how to act. But I hate it. I really do. Because it goes against all that stuff he said. One more important fact: Last girlfriend of 10 years broke up with him because they fought all the time. About: He says they grew apart because she did not give him his freedom. Hence you see why I am not eager to rock the boat. Some advice please.
MusicWoman Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 Its hard for me to determine what is going on here. I dont know him well enough. Some advice please. I think you just gave yourself the advice you need:D
Guest Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 You absolutely don't know him enough to even think of marrying. Nor does he know you enough. I think you may have to give up on this one.
Guest Posted March 31, 2006 Posted March 31, 2006 Why would you give advice like give up on it rather than get to know someone better. I swear so many people are negative here. Try to get to know the guy better. In the meantime stop calling for a few days and see what he does....
Author overseas2004 Posted March 31, 2006 Author Posted March 31, 2006 Why not get to know him better? Why is the advice give it up?
No Stress Lady Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 If he really can afford to call you and never does - what does that tell you about him? It would tell me that he's really not that bothered. You say you're from Eastern Europe - where exactly? You really don't know this guy very well - I'd keep dating wherever you actually live and try to stop putting so much of your energy into this guy if he lives so far away and won't call you (despite being able to) If he can't even be bothered to call you what's the point????? Sounds like he's playing you to me.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Hello! I think you know what is up with this guy; you just don't want to admit it to yourself. Please, please, please do not marry him until you know more about him. Marriage is a life time of commitment and communication - both of which he seems unable to offer! If he is as stunning as you say he is - then you'd know that he has more girlfriends than he knows what to do with them! Protect yourself. This guy is definitely bad news - and you know this!
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