hurtbeyondwords Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 I did what I felt I needed to do yet dreaded. I am moving from Ontario to B.C. I had not talked to my ex since the breakup (2 months) and wanted to clear everything with her. Some may say I was stupid but I felt I needed to say goodbye for myself. I prepared myself for the worst. She told me that she had to tell me something before we met up so that I could decide if I truley wanted to. You told me she was seeing someone.... honestly no surprise, as I said I was prepared for the worst. The shocker came when she told me that she was seeing someone who we hung out with multiple times with his gfriend. Almost a mutual friend. He had proposed to his gfriend before christmas with us, family and friends watching. I trusted this person. He ended his engagement to be with my ex.... Timelines suggest that she had this in mind before completely breaking up with me. I saw stories of ex's from others but never imagined that she would act that way. Noone did, we have mutual friends... noone knew. I feel increadibly betrayed. I met up with her later that night and said goodbye. It was the toughest thing I've ever done. I am so hurt right now I don't know hat to do with myself. When she broke up with me it was clear that she needed to figure herself out and enjoy time on her own. To me it sounds like some crazy rebound situation. Not for me to worry about I guess. I really thought better of her... thank you for hearing my tale.
jerbear Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 Sorry to hear. I suggest the best thing to to is to move on and forget her.
CaliGuy Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 Sometimes the desire for closure causes us to do things we normally wouldn't (break NC). I'm sorry things turned out this way and hope you do find closure. Keep focusing on self-improvement. Someone better is coming along so you need to be prepared
Author hurtbeyondwords Posted March 27, 2006 Author Posted March 27, 2006 I know that I should just let go and move on. I am going to do this... I am terrified right now. Moving across country is scary enough, losing my best friend in that manner just kills my spirits. It's hard to find the hope I need when I am having trouble just coping with such a loss.
My_Other_I Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 Ouch, that is hurtful. I agree with bendit. The less you know the better off you are.
UT_longhorn Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 well...you did what you felt like you had to. i have faith that you'll bounce back. especially with your move, with a new place, new opportunities. let the past lie in the past. you now have a chance to rebuild yourself. learn from this relationship and concentrate on urself brother. hopefully this will let u gain some closure.
In Sync Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 I did what I felt I needed to do yet dreaded. I am moving from Ontario to B.C. I had not talked to my ex since the breakup (2 months) and wanted to clear everything with her. Some may say I was stupid but I felt I needed to say goodbye for myself. I prepared myself for the worst. She told me that she had to tell me something before we met up so that I could decide if I truley wanted to. You told me she was seeing someone.... honestly no surprise, as I said I was prepared for the worst. The shocker came when she told me that she was seeing someone who we hung out with multiple times with his gfriend. Almost a mutual friend. He had proposed to his gfriend before christmas with us, family and friends watching. I trusted this person. He ended his engagement to be with my ex.... Timelines suggest that she had this in mind before completely breaking up with me. I saw stories of ex's from others but never imagined that she would act that way. Noone did, we have mutual friends... noone knew. I feel increadibly betrayed. I met up with her later that night and said goodbye. It was the toughest thing I've ever done. I am so hurt right now I don't know hat to do with myself. When she broke up with me it was clear that she needed to figure herself out and enjoy time on her own. To me it sounds like some crazy rebound situation. Not for me to worry about I guess. I really thought better of her... thank you for hearing my tale. Ok so you're a grownup and you can take this, but even though you will get through this..it was a lesson. You don't have closure, now you have one more unnecessary bundle of useless crap you have to haul around. When you practiced NC, you were obviously gaining ground with yourself..which is why you probabbly felt you could handle hearing and seeing your ex. Instead of letting go and walking away with your head high you wanted to do what? clear what up?! What was so important to clear up? DO you even remember? Now you have these new images of your friend and the ex filling your head. Dude you went back to day 1 plus more and did you need this headache considering you are moving away..that alone is enough on your plate to handle. There will be plenty of people hear on this thread that will give you a pity party but I say YOU AND ONLY YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF.
francis Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 i think this should act as your closure in a way...you heard the reality straight from her. you are now under no illusion what she is capable of, and the true depth of her feelings. if i were you, i would see this as being able to draw a line under the whole situation and experience with her there should be no lingering what ifs now... i know if my ex told me this, i'd get the message loud and clear. move, new home, fresh start
2020vision Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 I totally agree with Francis, As bad as it hurts, this truley is the best closure you could have gotten. When my ex and I broke up, he started dating someone and then I found out they were moving in together. It hurt bad and to be quite honest, I still have "moments" where I am upset about it. But now, there is no turning back. Once I started looking at the whole thing as closure, it made it easier on me to focus on getting over the break up instead of what if's and why nots. I know its hard, but try to think of the glass as half full right now. You will get through this, and in the end of it all you will be a better person.
Author hurtbeyondwords Posted March 28, 2006 Author Posted March 28, 2006 I did bring this on myself and I knew the consequences. I did this to say goodbye so that I could move on. Im moving to the other side of the country, I did not want any regrets. That may had been the last time I see her. Thank you everyone for your support. I feel like I died that night she told me, it hurts more than I could ever imagine... but, I have no what ifs, I have not regrets. I know the pain will pass and I will find a new stronger me. This is my chance for a fresh start, nothing is holding me back now. I can only move forwards from here.
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