Ohio_isforLovers Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 Hey whats up people Well i've been going out with my girlfriend for over 5 months. Everthing was perfect we never got into fights or anything! There werer no problems at all! Well after two days after our 5th month anniversity she calls me while im practicing soccer outside and she tells me she has something to tell me. So i wait for her to get here and by her facial expression she seemed sad. SO iasked her whats wrong and she said i have to tell you something. Im like freaking out at this moment thinking whats shes gonna say. Then after awhile she still dosent tell me and then i say "are you gonna break up with me?" As soon as i said that her face turns all red and she starts to cry. Im shocked as what she has to say! Well she gives me her reasons saying one of the main reasons was that shes not ready for a long relationship "im just not matured enough" im like what are u talking about! If you go out with somebody for 5 motnhs with no problems im sure your ready! She then starts to say that i havent been hanging out with my freinds alot and spending time with you more and she gave all these little reasons and im like we can change all those! Shes like "all those little things add to a big one" Well im sad as ever she says in her life shes only had 3 bf's i was her third and the only one who she actually loved! i belived her because her other bfs never lasted that long she alwyas broke up with them! I was like "if you loved me youw ouldnt break up with me its simple as that!" shes responds with saying "I do love you, ilove you so much,its just that im just not ready to have a long relationship" and she starts to cry again. I hug her letting her know that i still love her. Well i decide tro go home and chanmge and talk to her about it later on the day.. Well we meet again and shes still has this sad expression on her face. She tells that im sorry that your hurt and then tells me that ive been a prefect boyfirend her. Telling me ive done nothing wrong. Its that right know shes feels like shes not ready. She tne tells me that shes thinking about the choice thats gonna make either to go out with me agian or not and she tells me "shes not promising me anything" She thenm promises me that we would still be firends. While shes telling me she keeps kissing me on the lips. She says shell let me know by the end of the week. Well i really love this girl and i know she loves me back we had the best 5 moths...I just hope she decides to go back out with me !!!!!!!!! Does anyone got anything to say??? any comments or anything???
blueberry Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 she might be having the 6-month freak out (i usually did with past boyfriends) 2 scenarios: - she truly doesnt want to be with you and shes doing the whole "its not me its you" thing - shes truly confused either way you need to cool out and give her some space. if all was as good as you say it was - then give her a chance to reminisce. she'll be back if she loves you - sounds like your a great catch and she just may need some time to register that. be open and civil to her if she contacts you but please please dont initiate it. questions at this time = bad
blueberry Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 ...actually its bloody difficult isnt it? ive often thought "hmmm...maintain dignity and silence? or cry like a little b*tch so he knows how much i care?" its a tough one i think in your case the ball is firmly with you - keep it that way for now and let her come to you
Author Ohio_isforLovers Posted March 27, 2006 Author Posted March 27, 2006 so basically if we talk then the best thing to do is not mention anything about what happend? I just dont know how to act right now its so rough on me
CaliGuy Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 Read my thread on second chances, please. It's in my signature.
GuestSoul Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 I´ll keep it short and simple, and yes, talking is always easier than doing. Keep the contact very limited and very strictly for the "necessary". Let her initiate contact if she wants. She knows you love her and that you're there for her, but since she's "confused" and needs time, that's what you're giving her. Let her miss you! Listen, you would LIKE her in your life and you would LIKE her to continue to be your girlfriend, but you definitely dont NEED her. Focus on YOU, not HER now please! I know you love her, but you need to love yourself more, cos people, friends, girlfriends come and go, but you remain the main actor of your life. It all starts with you. Its not even about maintaining dignity, Im just trying to "save" yourself from further hurt, cos from experience, I can see that that's what's coming. I might be wrong, but experience tells me so. I would be even more drastic and tell her that until she doesnt decide that she wants to remain with me, don't even bother. You think its acting like a selfish jerk, think again. You're saving yourself from further hurt, which is unnecessary. Then again, I might be wrong, but all this sounds way too familiar. Peace. and hope it help in some little way.
Author Ohio_isforLovers Posted March 28, 2006 Author Posted March 28, 2006 What has she done in the past? She went out with my best freind..She liked me so much but i never got the courage to ask her out when i did it was to late she already gone to liking my freind. i was so mad at was shes done at that point i decided to ignore her..After some months of nc with her. I came to relize that there relationship went soo bad. after she told me that she broke up with him, she then asked me out in october. You both have obviously gotten through the i love yous, who said it first and how far in? I did then i asked her do you love me back and she said yes i do i love you so much your the only person ive actually fallen in love with. Does she say it first to you at all? Yeah she dose How old are you two? 16 Has you gotten signs that this was coming, IE you are always calling her first, you always have to set things up, etc? No not at all!
Author Ohio_isforLovers Posted March 28, 2006 Author Posted March 28, 2006 I just need to know wat im suppose to do???
riobikini Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 Subject: FW: New Study of Women RE: OhoiIsForLovers: "How old are you two? 16.." You're sixteen...below is proof you don't want to know, but probably need to know...it gets worse..: A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and tape over his mouth while he is on fire. No further studies are expected. (Smile) OK, seriously, you're probably not going to understand alot of what she says -or does- so you need to be extra-certain you're 'dug in' with how you want to feel -and be treated- in this relationship. When you start to feel so confused and upset by it, and it starts to cause you lots of anxiety and disruption in your young, happy (supposed to be) life, -it's time for a 'chilling out' session. Remove yourself from the problem, find yourself a quiet place, think for awhile, and then seek out an older, more experienced person to talk to about it. I'd keep that older, more experienced person around just in case I ever needed him/her, regardless of whether I was involved with this person -or the next. Look, someone else in this site posted a stark truth the other day, they said: " Relationships do not make sense." My take on that statement is that, furthermore, -they aren't really supposed to. But you know they aren't working, my friend, when they hurt you, make you feel bad, or take something away from you that you didn't want to give up. Take care. -Rio
Author Ohio_isforLovers Posted March 29, 2006 Author Posted March 29, 2006 OKay well Heres an update on the situation... She went to her mom for advice and she told her about some personal experince. So she took that on note and she told me that she wants to take a break between us to to let her think if she wants to go ointo a serious relationship between us two. She noted that its gonna take awhile for me to think not just weeks or few days. But awhile and while were on our break she wants to meet new people and such and be single agiain and see..She wants me to do the same thing. She told me that she wouldnt get into a relationship with any other guy except if they kissed and she said it might happen she dosent know..Well i tell her that its gonna be hard not being bf and gf and still hanging out when were o our break. We still kiss and such its just were not in a relationship. To me it makes no sense for me. She still wears the wrist jewlery that i gave her that engraved my name and her name and the necklace i gave her. It just it makes no sense for me i really love this girl and like i wanan get back with her.. So i need some insight from you people please!!!! If i left out any info in which i think i did because i type in a hurry well just ask me and ill answer!!!
blueberry Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 hmm... tough one. she obviously has you enchanted. must say though, its not very fair of her to tell you she wont get into another relationship but she might kiss the guy?? thats pretty agonising for you. she shouldnt be playing with you like that. i was 16 when my first love and i broke up it was really painful for him and he became tearful and, hate to say it, desperate in my eyes. this made me back off even more and i was happy about not being with him (i used to think "yuck" even). after a while he did an about-turn and started to ignore me, and at that confusing time of first love it made me want him again (you always want what you cant have right?). basically, what i am trying to get across to you Ohio is that you are a young man. i dont want to sound patronizing! you sound like a great guy and you are going to have a few more broken hearts along your path in life!! its painful thing to go through (each and every time) but affairs of the heart are also so so sweet.... anyways, i really think you should back off for a while and leave her to make her mind up but i know thats REALLY hard to do! if you do have contact - be strong. my mamma used to say if you dont have your dignity you do not have anything. kia kaha
Author Ohio_isforLovers Posted March 29, 2006 Author Posted March 29, 2006 OH okay did i mention she klives right infront of me .....
blueberry Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 ...then go quietly about your business and pretend you are A-OK
Author Ohio_isforLovers Posted March 29, 2006 Author Posted March 29, 2006 OH okay did i mention she klives right infront of me .....
blueberry Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 ...then go quietly about your business and pretend you are A-OK
normal guy Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 I started to well up with tears when I read this. My EX did and said the EXACT same things. Man I was crazy about her and was on a high that I had never felt before. It all came crashing to a hault In much the same way. She on the other hand couldn't tell me everything and kept it inside. I can say DON'T CHASE HER!!!!!! YOU WILL PUSH HER AWAY and It will be harder on you as well. Don't make the mistake I did. You will feel better with time, keep an open mind
ddnnee Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 dump the drama queen. She's too young to know what she wants and if you stick with her, the wound will just be that much deeper. I think at this moment, your brain is losing to your dick and your heart (the trinity oh mighty): it is telling you to STICK with her and not take any logical advices from this forum. remember you said she dumped all of her previous boyfriends and she's pretty experienced in that. She's a level 3 dumper and she will level up soon! - just 100 more exp. my guess is she's just gaining acting experience and the ability to dump. Over time, she will be so good at it, she can break out in tears any time she wants to manipulate men while at the same time, not be emotionally torn by it all. oh ya, i have plenty of girls living in front of me, next to me, behind me... etc... i COULD date them, but who would want to date fat... i mean.. big boned.
blueberry Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 "i have plenty of girls living in front of me, next to me, behind me... etc... i COULD date them, but who would want to date fat... i mean.. big boned." *** ...err. i'm not sure thats got anything to do with it....
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