PlentyLV007 Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 So I've been dating new guy for the past almost month.... He's great....so opposite of me w/ feelings and well feelings... As most of you know...I'm not much of a feelings (I miss you, need you, you make me so happy, what are we doing, are we serious) type of girl... now the new guy mentioned to me that well...."I want to hear that you miss me" I mean it's been only a month and I feel pressured.... I told him I don't do well w/ speaking my feelings...I just show them. I don't do well w/ people drowning me in feelings either. He got upset and didn't understand why... He told me he's use to girls drowning him in feelings, and giving him what he wants and how he wants. He also asked me why I haven't slept with him... See this is one of my projects...I'm use to sleeping w/ men quick especially if I like them...so I'm changing it up a little. I mean...what the hell is the rush...I'm suffering just as much as he is...I'm in need too.... Guys!!!! help me out here....MAD DOG ...where you at....help a peep out!!!! GUYS....I mean...do you guys really like MUSHY!!!???
prfrogkisser Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 This sounds so familiar. Im dating someone who has been totally different than other men ive dated and i honesty found his behavior odd. Odd: 1. He doesnt express his feelings. Most guys Ive dated have no problem telling me how they feel about me. Sometimes even in the 1st date... Is not easy being a hottie Just kidding!! 2. He hasnt made any advances or sexual comments. We havent had sex (this is driving me up the wall) This made me uneasy and impatient and sadly to say i pressured him. We didnt talk for a few days but then he finally came through:o I guess all men are not the same. Ive dated the mushy type and sometimes you get bored and tired of their behavior. I think this guy is putting you to the test. Dont be like any of his other women.
Author PlentyLV007 Posted March 27, 2006 Author Posted March 27, 2006 Ive dated the mushy type and sometimes you get bored and tired of their behavior. I think this guy is putting you to the test. Dont be like any of his other women. That's the thing....he's is pushing me to the point where I'm getting tired and bored because it's common and expected already when it's too soon. I mean 3 weeks. the sex thing I can understand....I feel like I'm being swamped....like its too soon or something...I mean I've known this guy all my life and I've never seen him be all mushy like this. I told him I feel like he's too needy...and I don't do well w/ that.... He didn't react well to that either.... I mean if a guy knows that he might become irritating...why keep doing it? If I'm telling you that there are certain things you are doing that make me feel uncomfortable then why do they keep doing it???
prfrogkisser Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 I totally understand your point. You were honest and told him how you feel. If it doesnt feel right to you well you decide. Maybe he always liked you thats why he is so needy. He can be insecure because you are not behaving like those other women in his life. He is being too hard on himself. Thats why he doesnt seem to understand. Give him some time. If he really likes you he will hopefully get the point. I know i did even if it took me a few. In the end is all up to you.
Author PlentyLV007 Posted March 27, 2006 Author Posted March 27, 2006 I totally understand your point. You were honest and told him how you feel. Maybe he always liked you thats why he is so needy. He can be insecure because you are not behaving like those other women in his life. He is being too hard on himself. Thats why he doesnt seem to understand. Give him some time. If he really likes you he will hopefully get the point. I know i did even if it took me a few. In the end is all up to you. I totally agree. He says he can't help himself when he says those things. I said sure..you can!!! I told him he shouldn't be insecure about me. I told him I need someone who is secure w/ in himself and confident about our relationship. I'm definetly holding out longer just because he's use to having it right away. I mean c'mon. I use to giving it up right away and appereantly it hasn't worked for either of us. I mean he calls like 2-3 times and if I'm not answering my cell, he'll call my house. I really don't like that...and well how do you tell him to stop calling so much you know??? I'm thinking of telling him to step it back a notch...I'm just not really use to the whole 3 week over whelmingthing...I love spending time w/ him but, there is not reason to talk 3-4 times a day....at least not after only 3 weeks. 3 years okay sure..makes more sense right?
prfrogkisser Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 Ouch!!!! 2 or 3 times a day. Humm.. Doesnt he have anything else to do? We all need some space. He seems to be used to taking things at a fast pace. I can relate to this but ive learned to be patient because I really like the person. You tell him he needs to take it slow because his behavior doesnt feel right to you and in the end if he keeps it up it wont work. Good Luck:D
MusicWoman Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 ah my man calls like 10 times a day. I feel bad cuz hes such a sweetie..but it irritates me soooo much. Hes not calling to check up on me or anything he just wants to talk. ANYWAYS....we're together about 50% of the time...and when we're not I told him that we don't really need to talk all the time. I mean, when you need alone time...you need alone time....
Author PlentyLV007 Posted March 29, 2006 Author Posted March 29, 2006 Someone said to me....that in dating / relationship/ give and take, we are never happy. I was like HUURRRRR???? Then I was asked okay...what if he stoped calling? Or what if he didn't care at all? Would I rather be at home thinking if he likes me? Or guessing if he's dating anyone else? Or would I have him call me 2-3 times a day because he enjoys talking to me. Would I rather him enjoy just sleeping w/ me and not talking to me? well that's fun too but, hey.... could it be true? Either way we are never happy???
TheTallOne Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 Someone said to me....that in dating / relationship/ give and take, we are never happy. I was like HUURRRRR???? Then I was asked okay...what if he stoped calling? Or what if he didn't care at all? Would I rather be at home thinking if he likes me? Or guessing if he's dating anyone else? Or would I have him call me 2-3 times a day because he enjoys talking to me. Would I rather him enjoy just sleeping w/ me and not talking to me? well that's fun too but, hey.... could it be true? Either way we are never happy??? With all due respect... That post made my brain hurt. It sounds like you don't really know what you want from a guy... perhaps you should figure that out?
MadDog Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 now the new guy mentioned to me that well...."I want to hear that you miss me" I mean it's been only a month and I feel pressured.... I don't do well w/ people drowning me in feelings either. He got upset and didn't understand why... He told me he's use to girls drowning him in feelings, and giving him what he wants and how he wants. He also asked me why I haven't slept with him... See this is one of my projects...I'm use to sleeping w/ men quick especially if I like them...so I'm changing it up a little. I mean...what the hell is the rush...I'm suffering just as much as he is...I'm in need too.... Guys!!!! help me out here....MAD DOG ...where you at....help a peep out!!!! GUYS....I mean...do you guys really like MUSHY!!!??? First off, I don't think the majority of guys want mushy. On the contrary, I think it gets tiring for most of us to have to continually profess our undying love, blah blah blah. Whatever happened to actions speak louder than words? Take my ex for example. I'd tell her 4 times in one conversation that I love her because she "needed to hear it" and would wonder why I didn't say it 5 times like the conversation before. I personally would rather say it when I'm really feeling it and that might be twice in a day or not for a couple weeks. I hate it when it has to become a routine and is expected. Anyway, on to the main point. I think it's a little lame that he's flat out telling you stuff like "I want you to hear that you miss me." What is he? Some insecure girl? He should see by now that you're not that type of girl. Here's comes the critical part of my observation though. When you start getting to know a person's tendencies in a relationship, you can do one of two things: 1. Learn to appreciate all their idiosyncracies. This only works if you actually think the person is pretty cool. 2. Start noticing what you don't like about that person (e.g. you don't show me enough feelings) and try to make them change. Option 1 leads to a happy relationship, option 2 leads to disaster. My ex definately chose option 2 and it led to a monumental relationship disaster. Your guy is really dangering on choosing option 2. Maybe it's time you had a talk with him and let him know, "Look. I'm hoping you've noticed but I'm not the typical girl who's into mushy feelings. I hope you can appreciate me for who I am." If he says something like, "I know but. . ." then I guess he can't appreciate you for who you are and wants you to basically change into a different person. I have more thoughts in my head. I'll probably get them out in the next post. MD
Author PlentyLV007 Posted March 29, 2006 Author Posted March 29, 2006 Whatever happened to actions speak louder than words? Take my ex for example. I personally would rather say it when I'm really feeling it and that might be twice in a day or not for a couple weeks. I hate it when it has to become a routine and is expected. Anyway, on to the main point. I think it's a little lame that he's flat out telling you stuff like "I want you to hear that you miss me." What is he? Some insecure girl? He should see by now that you're not that type of girl. Here's comes the critical part of my observation though. When you start getting to know a person's tendencies in a relationship, you can do one of two things: 1. Learn to appreciate all their idiosyncracies. This only works if you actually think the person is pretty cool. 2. Start noticing what you don't like about that person (e.g. you don't show me enough feelings) and try to make them change. Option 1 leads to a happy relationship, option 2 leads to disaster. My ex definately chose option 2 and it led to a monumental relationship disaster. Your guy is really dangering on choosing option 2. Maybe it's time you had a talk with him and let him know, "Look. I'm hoping you've noticed but I'm not the typical girl who's into mushy feelings. I hope you can appreciate me for who I am." If he says something like, "I know but. . ." then I guess he can't appreciate you for who you are and wants you to basically change into a different person. I have more thoughts in my head. I'll probably get them out in the next post. MD You know Mad Dog me and you....we see eye to eye....and I u know totally what I mean...and tryng to say...now....on the whole "I know but....." he did say that to me already. He said that the person that he ends up with would put up w/ it and appreciate it. I said your right....so I think you need to find someone that would. Just like how someone would understand me and try not to keep pushing w/ the mushy stuff. Then he said....well I can try to hold myself from saying it. He said I don't know why I should if that's the way I feel. He said he also needs to hear me say I miss him...I swear I almost... (sigh) I just don't know...I like him and he's so different than the majority of 2pac/ thug passion wannaB's. He's so down to earth and doesn't play games. I love that about him....
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