gordon_gc Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 Hi, Gosh, it feels like ages since i last posted a thread in here !!! My break up with my ex gf was hard from the time it happened in November...everyday was a pain. Last time I saw her was mid january. After this, things got worst for a bit and a way better. I learnt to accept that she wasn't part of my life no more. Anyway, we are end of March and today, she called !!! Can someone give me reasons to why she might be calling ? What is going through her mind ? What SHOULD I DO ?
Author gordon_gc Posted March 27, 2006 Author Posted March 27, 2006 Did you speak to her? If so, what did she say? No, I was really surprised and didnt answer. She left a message with the basic bulls.... "hi, how are you? just wondering how you doing? bla bla bla. call me sometime"
Shattered Heart Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 It may help you to read the thread I created a few weeks ago titled "over a month of no contact...ex just e-mailed me...WHAT DO I DO?!?!". There are many great posts by others who had replied offering sound advice. Personally, I am heeding the advice of francis, but you can pick and choose from other's advice that suits you best. From the looks of it, you and I appear to have similar situations. In a nutshell, my girlfriend broke up with me on Halloween, and I officially cut all contact starting the end of January. Well, she contacted me via e-mail at the beginning of March, and that's what prompted me to write my thread. As for what your ex said to you in her voicemail, it was very similar to what my ex e-mailed to me (which was basically nothing). It would definitely help you to read my thread and the advice from others. I don't know how you're feeling since receiving her voicemail, but I'm sure we both felt the same way. Check out my thoughts and feelings when I received my ex's e-mail. I'm just now starting to get over the way I felt when she contacted me. Good luck and hang in there!
gfto Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 She's not interested in you. She just has a bruised ego, because you quit calling her. Don't call her back. Just delete her message and forget about it. Ex-gfs do this all the time. It just an ego thing.
SuperMonk Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 She's not interested in you. She just has a bruised ego, because you quit calling her. Don't call her back. Just delete her message and forget about it. Ex-gfs do this all the time. It just an ego thing. ^^^ I agree. Don't talk to her. Notice how the women on here didn't give you advice because they know the truth. They ASSUME they can do better, but they really can't. While us men are masters and adventurers of the world, WE ARE THE CREATORS, and DESTROYERS they are nothing but maintainers and once they stop maintaining, you should leave them be to attend a lesser male, a wimpy male, a homosexual male. You are greater than they are, we are stronger, more powerful than they will ever be!
CaliGuy Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 ^^^ I agree. Don't talk to her. Notice how the women on here didn't give you advice because they know the truth. They ASSUME they can do better, but they really can't. While us men are masters and adventurers of the world, WE ARE THE CREATORS, and DESTROYERS they are nothing but maintainers and once they stop maintaining, you should leave them be to attend a lesser male, a wimpy male, a homosexual male. You are greater than they are, we are stronger, more powerful than they will ever be! Wow, and I thought I had seen it all.
freckles3131 Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 ^^^ I agree. Don't talk to her. Notice how the women on here didn't give you advice because they know the truth. They ASSUME they can do better, but they really can't. While us men are masters and adventurers of the world, WE ARE THE CREATORS, and DESTROYERS they are nothing but maintainers and once they stop maintaining, you should leave them be to attend a lesser male, a wimpy male, a homosexual male. You are greater than they are, we are stronger, more powerful than they will ever be! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t85073/ Ummm....this is the poster second post on the subject and if you look....at least 3 women responded to him the FIRST time...... Hmm.......wonder why you are on here with that mentality...good luck in the "love" department...you're gonna need it.
lexilas Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 ^^^ I agree. Don't talk to her. Notice how the women on here didn't give you advice because they know the truth. They ASSUME they can do better, but they really can't. While us men are masters and adventurers of the world, WE ARE THE CREATORS, and DESTROYERS they are nothing but maintainers and once they stop maintaining, you should leave them be to attend a lesser male, a wimpy male, a homosexual male. You are greater than they are, we are stronger, more powerful than they will ever be! The world is full of all kinds of people....even the foolish!
PlentyLV007 Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 ^^^ I agree. Don't talk to her. Notice how the women on here didn't give you advice because they know the truth. They ASSUME they can do better, but they really can't. While us men are masters and adventurers of the world, WE ARE THE CREATORS, and DESTROYERS they are nothing but maintainers and once they stop maintaining, you should leave them be to attend a lesser male, a wimpy male, a homosexual male. You are greater than they are, we are stronger, more powerful than they will ever be! HOLY KRAP!!! Your hilarious! C'mon...do you want to talk about it??? :lmao: Now to get to the thread question...I contacted my ex after a year...I broke up with him. The reason I contacted him was because of "closure". I needed to know I was over him, and I was. We ended in good terms and that was that. It didn't boost up my ego either because he said some crappy things to me...but, hey I just listened. Plus I learned from my mistakes that I did w/ him. It was hard but, I wouldn't change anything about it. I'm not friends with him or anything. If you haven't talked to her and want to then it's up to you. I honestly was surprised when my ex called me back. He said he wanted to know what I wanted. Meaning he wanted to boost up his ego thinking I wanted him back, which I didn't. I think it goes both ways. If your curious...sure call, if not then don't worry about it.
gfto Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 HOLY KRAP!!! Your hilarious! C'mon...do you want to talk about it??? :lmao: Now to get to the thread question...I contacted my ex after a year...I broke up with him. The reason I contacted him was because of "closure". I needed to know I was over him, and I was. We ended in good terms and that was that. It didn't boost up my ego either because he said some crappy things to me...but, hey I just listened. Plus I learned from my mistakes that I did w/ him. It was hard but, I wouldn't change anything about it. I'm not friends with him or anything. If you haven't talked to her and want to then it's up to you. I honestly was surprised when my ex called me back. He said he wanted to know what I wanted. Meaning he wanted to boost up his ego thinking I wanted him back, which I didn't. I think it goes both ways. If your curious...sure call, if not then don't worry about it. closure? more than a year after you got rid of him? If you didn't want him back, then doesn't that mean you're "over" him by definition?
Author gordon_gc Posted March 29, 2006 Author Posted March 29, 2006 closure? more than a year after you got rid of him? If you didn't want him back, then doesn't that mean you're "over" him by definition? I do agree on what gfto is asking !!! A closure a year after ???? WHAT THE ? I have been thinking about that whole contacting the last few days (that forum has taught me to wait before doing anything silly) and I do give her credit for wondering what I have been up to...We spent more than a year together, I was part of her life, she was part of mine and I guess she just feel weird not having this anymore. However, I am sorry but I don't feel the same right now. I have suffered like a bit'ch these last few months. Now i feel good with myself, she is back for frienship or don't know what. Yes, I am curious to know why. Yes, I don't want to be childish... Yes, I might even sililly think she might have realised things and is now ready for the relationship...How was the grass on the other side babe ??? not greener uhh ? But I also realised our relationship wouldnt be the same anymore. I remembered someone wrote something on this forum one day (I think it is Caliguy) but i will not do anything if i don't hear what I want to hear. It might never come...too bad for her !
mjk Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 I'm kinda thinking "what's done is done" Didn't you break up with her, or her with you for a reason? I mean people don't just wake up in the morning and say "goodbye" well....yes maybe they do!! I'd say call if you want to open up that old box of worms, call if you aren't seeing someone else, but...don't expect too much. Remember your heart probably got hurt once already.....
PlentyLV007 Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 I do agree on what gfto is asking !!! A closure a year after ???? WHAT THE ? I have been thinking about that whole contacting the last few days (that forum has taught me to wait before doing anything silly) and I do give her credit for wondering what I have been up to...We spent more than a year together, I was part of her life, she was part of mine and I guess she just feel weird not having this anymore. However, I am sorry but I don't feel the same right now. I have suffered like a bit'ch these last few months. Now i feel good with myself, she is back for frienship or don't know what. Yes, I am curious to know why. Yes, I don't want to be childish... Yes, I might even sililly think she might have realised things and is now ready for the relationship...How was the grass on the other side babe ??? not greener uhh ? But I also realised our relationship wouldnt be the same anymore. I remembered someone wrote something on this forum one day (I think it is Caliguy) but i will not do anything if i don't hear what I want to hear. It might never come...too bad for her ! I know...I know ...a year...and yes I was over him but, not over the fact that the way I broke up w/ him was bad. I did it in a very cowardly way because I knew I couldn't face him. I made him go to my house and pick up his stuff. I didn't see him when I broke up w/ him. He had to walk in and out of my house and face my mom alone. That sucks! He deserved confrontation and a propre break up. Trust me....It was for me. I know he could have cared less about the way we broke up...at least I think so.
CaliGuy Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 I do agree on what gfto is asking !!! A closure a year after ???? WHAT THE ? I have been thinking about that whole contacting the last few days (that forum has taught me to wait before doing anything silly) and I do give her credit for wondering what I have been up to...We spent more than a year together, I was part of her life, she was part of mine and I guess she just feel weird not having this anymore. However, I am sorry but I don't feel the same right now. I have suffered like a bit'ch these last few months. Now i feel good with myself, she is back for frienship or don't know what. Yes, I am curious to know why. Yes, I don't want to be childish... Yes, I might even sililly think she might have realised things and is now ready for the relationship...How was the grass on the other side babe ??? not greener uhh ? But I also realised our relationship wouldnt be the same anymore. I remembered someone wrote something on this forum one day (I think it is Caliguy) but i will not do anything if i don't hear what I want to hear. It might never come...too bad for her ! I'm more concerned with what you want. Feel her out. Don't rush into anything. Just see what she wants. I can say that it's impossible to be friends if you love her. It just won't work. What's important here though is what YOU want. She's snooping around, testing the waters. It's important that you show her that you can/have been living FINE without her. You don't need her in your life. IMHO, she burned you, she has a lot of work to do to regain your trust. I would approach this with caution. Drop me a PM if you want to work on a strategy.
Shattered Heart Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 Hey CaliGuy, I assume you're aware of my situation as well. As far as you can see, is there a unique strategy that I should be implementing regarding my ex? Do you view my situation differently than gordon_gc's? Is my best course of action to just not reply to her? Thanks for any input you may have on this subject.
CaliGuy Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 Hey CaliGuy, I assume you're aware of my situation as well. As far as you can see, is there a unique strategy that I should be implementing regarding my ex? Do you view my situation differently than gordon_gc's? Is my best course of action to just not reply to her? Thanks for any input you may have on this subject. IIRC, you started NC with her and hadn't heard from her in some time, then out of the blue she starts emailing/texting you? Have you read my thread on second chances? If she's just blabbering to you, it may just be that she wants to know she still has you on the line. If there's something tangible there, then you have to decide how to respond. So, the two possible reasons for contacting you are: 1. Just pulling your strings or... 2. She's fishing to see if you might be interested in talking to her. Now, what you do from here could shape the rest of your relationship, if you decide to have one. If you decide to respond, no matter what you do, make it short and sweet. Don't ask any personal information, don't give any out. Take 1-3 days to respond. Sleeping on an email overnight instead of firing off a message right away usually leads to less "emotional" email and shows her that you're not pining over her every word. Think about what mistakes you made in the past and learn to be counter-intuitive. Whatever you did that wasn't working in the past, be sure not to repeat them. Above all, ask yourself "What do *I* really want?" I think that's the most important thing right now. As AlphaMale's thread says: "Make your needs number one and her's a close number 2" (when your dating). And when you aren't dating, make darn sure you're doing what is in your best interest. Good luck. Hope it helps
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