Tim Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 Me and my ex were together for about 2 and a half years we had rough patches in our relationships everynow and again but we always sorte them out. Closer to the end of our relationship we started to have breaks and the second time we got back together things weren't so rosy anymore and things looked like they were going to an end. I was on a night out with my mates and ended up kissing a randomer I told my then girl friend about and she seemed okay till the next day when she said she didnt want to be with me anymore and it was over. A couple of weeks after this we started talking with each other again and we sorta started to see each other again. We started kissing and having sex again everything seemed pretty normal onto she went out one night and ended up ringing me cos her friend had left her alone and she was stranded I went to pick her up and found her drunk n crying she started kissing me a lot and asked me back out with her I however said we would talk about it the next day as I felt i was taking advantage of her. The next day she told me she had kissed someone else that night and she was sorry for it, I forgave her for it but she withdrew her offer of us going back together, We just decided to keep seeing each other instead of giving it a name recently however she started to ask for her space and saying she didnt want to see me that much anymore that she was just mad. I gave her all the space she wanted just to find out she wanted to split with me again because she didnt want to be in a relationship anymore and she just wanted to be on her own, the thing is i know I cheated on her but I love her so much I cant stand not being without her and I agreed to it and decided to stop pressuring her I have found it difficult to do this as we still spend time together and last time I saw her she started to kiss me very passionately yet when i ask her back out she says no to me and I am confused about what to do she tells me she doesnt want to be with me but her body and actions are saying something completely different. She has started to come and see me at work and go for walks with me holding my hand yet she says she doesnt want a relationship at all and she wants to be alone what can i do to win he rback? any advice will be greatly appreciated.
tigger Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 That is why you guys keep running to each other when you are feeling sad and/or lonely. In this case however, she's playing the cards and you are following suit. Meaning - you allow her to come and go as she wants as though you are waiting for her to decide she wants to be with you. Have you questioned yourself about why you kissed the "randomer" while at the bar? Don't let yourself off by saying it was because you were drunk, or you would have never done it. I say, if you do it when you are impaired in some way - you would have done it at some point anyway given the right circumstances. So, were you feeling frustrated and this was a way of getting back at that? Were you feeling lonely? What was it that made you do it? Then - why did you tell her? Were you hoping that she'd realize she was on the verge of losing you and that this would make her realize how much she loves you and you'd live happily ever after? I guess if the kiss wasn't real and wouldn't lead to further kisses, nothing should have been said, then again, were you afraid she might find out from some one else? When she turned around and kissed someone else, did it make you feel like she was acting in revenge? That would be my take on it. All in all - if you want to find out if your relationship is real and can withstand lifes future ups and downs - honestly take a break from each other. Give it a timeframe, and don't give in to the temptation to call or see each other. And make it longer than you guys have gone before without seeing or talking. At that point, take note. Are you still craving her the way you were before? Is she still craving you the way she was before? If the answers are yes - then you both need to get counseling to determine what the issue is that keeps you fighting. My offhand suggestion is to let each other go. Find the right person and start your "happily ever after". But, in seriousness, if you feel she is it for you, then you need to prove it, to each other!
dr strangelove Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 Ok so you make out, have sex, she comes to see you, etc etc Dude why are you so worried about having her say "Ok lets go out again" Trust me she will let you know on her on. Maybe sometimes, have something else to do. Just keep your yap shut and let her play all her cards. In the meantime keep your nose clean, and if you do end up doing a bit of something on the side. Well keep that a secret. Take a deep breath and dont worry so much, I doubt she is going anywhere ciao
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