sandre3 Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 okay me and my boyfriend been together for a year and 6 months. my boyfriend's x girlfriend had cheated on him with a female so,he was insecure when we got together. i thought eventually he would trust me,but he just wouldnt. he would go thru my cell phone,drive by my house,etc. so one day i had got an email from my x boyfriend, and i had ended up writing him bac,i asked him did he think me and my boyfriend should seek counseling. my boyfriend ended up going in my email and read it. my boyfriend took it as if i was cheating,(communicating with another guy) and he left me. is it me or was that a stupid reason to break up with me?
destination_unknown Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 Sorry that things havent been going well. Ok, your boyfriend was obviously not ready to get into a serious relationship when you both did. It is understandable that he would have trust issues but you are not his ex girlfriend. You did not cheat on him, she did. He should not have commited himself to a relationship with you if he knew he had negative feelings about trusting you. Now, at the same token, of all people to talk about your relationship problems with, your other ex? I know that it probably doesnt seem like a big deal to you because it was innocent and it probably didnt even cross your mind, but I think it would be a real humiliation thing for your current ex. That was probably crossing a boundary of his. It would flipping drive me loopy if i know my SO was discussing our relationship problems with another girl, never mind an ex. I'm sure it was innocent and you were just trying to get some feedback on how to solve your exs trust problems, and you needed someone to talk to. On the other hand, and it seems to be so much more common than i ever thought, but driving by your house / checking your email?? I have never been able to understand this type of behaviour. Am shocked since finding LS at how often people do this. It may seem like a stupid reason to you, but obviously its not in his mind, its valid for him. He really needs to concentrate on fixing up the trust issues and learning to respect people's boundaries. His feelings are probably all over the place and he may not even realise whats going on himself. If you want to give the relationship a shot, you may want to let him cool down for a while then go talk to him. You could apologise for exposing his private issues when you didnt have his permission to do that. But you would also REALLY NEED to establish your boundaries with him - checking up on you is not cool and its not healthy for him either. How to resolve that, to answer the Q to your ex, is yes councelling! I know how it feels when things get tangled up like this, and i hope that you guys can come to some kind of peaceful resolution if you dont get back together.
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