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Posted

My Wife And I Have Been Married For 20+ Years. We Have Two Children Son 17 Daughter 14.

For 5+ Years Now My Wife Sleeps In The Basement On Our Furniture And Refuses To Come To Our Bed.

4 Years Ago I Lost My Job After 18 Years. My Wife Has Had To Go To Work To Help Out. She Is In Real Estate. And Since Then She Has Become A Very Hateful And Spitful Person. Saying And Doing Things I Thought She Would Never Do.

She Has A Lender She Works With Who She Spends Almost All Of Her Time With Either On The Phone At His Office And When She Comes Home At Night She Gets On Her Computor And Starts Instant Mailing Him. She Says Nothing Is Going On But I Have My Suspicions.

Should I Stay With Her Or Hould I Go?

Posted

That sounds very miserable and lonely for you. Did you ever bring up marriage counseling to your wife? Have either of you ever tried it?

 

Maybe you want to hire a P.I. who can investigage whether or not she is cheating on you. If you get solid proof she is cheating, you can file for divorce and probably not lose your shirt financially (although I am not sure...don't have a lot of experience in this area)

 

I know that for me personally, I couldn't stand to live in a loveless marriage.

 

Oh, for future reference....you don't need to capitalize all your words. It makes your post hard to read.

Posted

I'm writing this to you in a child's point of view...

 

When my parents were married, my father moved into the basement for the last 5 years of the marraige. Let me tell you that that fact alone, while you may not think its affecting your children, really messed up my sister and me and probably is messing them up too. I wouldn't be suprised if they hate bringing friends over??? Won't have sleep overs?? Don't want their friends to know that they have parents who are having problems???

 

The energy you two are creating in the house is horrible for your kids.

 

The only wish I had about my parents and their divorce?? That it happened 5 years earlier......at these ages they're not thinking 'i want mommy and daddy together forever'. It improved my relationship with my mother (who is kind of in your roll in this situation) tremendiously because the whole time they were together she was just trying to keep the peace.

 

So my overall advice from the kids standpoint....is go or make her go

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