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How do i remove my shallowness?

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i x New Member

i x

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How do i make myself like fat girls or girls who have faces / facial features i find ugly and unattractive? I don't want to be shallow but i am. So how do i stop?

johan Established Member

johan

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How do i make myself like fat girls or girls who have faces / facial features i find ugly and unattractive? I don't want to be shallow but i am. So how do i stop?

 

It's not shallow to want an attractive, healthy woman. It's human nature. But, if you insist, go for the unattractive ones, Mr. Shallow. At least you and I won't be competing for the same girls. Ha ha.:laugh:

MadDog Established Member

MadDog

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How do i make myself like fat girls or girls who have faces / facial features i find ugly and unattractive? I don't want to be shallow but i am. So how do i stop?

 

How do you make yourself do it? I've never tried it but I hear tons of alcohol can help. Cause we all know that alcohol makes you completely insane and do things we would never want to do when we're sober. :confused:

 

MD

Steph21 Member

Steph21

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It's not shallow to want an attractive, healthy woman. It's human nature. But, if you insist, go for the unattractive ones, Mr. Shallow. At least you and I won't be competing for the same girls. Ha ha.:laugh:

 

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say today's definition of "healthy" has become synonymous with "fat." This guy probably means that he is not attracted to girls who don't spend all their time working out/starving themselves, which is what guys seem to expect these days...I don't mean to sound bitter, but I'm on the low end of what is considered a medically healthy weight for my height and someone I recently dated told me I should exercise more. He also made repeated comments about how hot certain skeleton-ish celebrities are, as though I should look like that too.

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i x New Member

i x

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I'm going to go out on a limb here and say today's definition of "healthy" has become synonymous with "fat." This guy probably means that he is not attracted to girls who don't spend all their time working out/starving themselves, which is what guys seem to expect these days...I don't mean to sound bitter, but I'm on the low end of what is considered a medically healthy weight for my height and someone I recently dated told me I should exercise more. He also made repeated comments about how hot certain skeleton-ish celebrities are, as though I should look like that too.
No by "not fat" i don't mean skeleton-ish, i mean just not fat or chubby as i find this unpleasant. What i'm attracted to is nothing to do with the media, in fact I prefer a lot of normal girls to supermodels for example a lot of them are cuter.
jen_jen_heartbroken Established Member

jen_jen_heartbroken

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This guy probably means that he is not attracted to girls who don't spend all their time working out/starving themselves, which is what guys seem to expect these days.

 

Steph21,

 

What I want to know is how are we supposed to convince ourselves to like and be attracted to "men" who:

 


  • Are shorter than us
  • Have bad teeth
  • Dress/live like slobs
  • Can't keep a job, or are workaholics
  • Live with their parents, and/or momma's boys
  • Are addicted to porn
  • Stare at other women when we are with them
  • Don't call when they say they will
  • Don't do what they say they will
  • Show up late all the time
  • Lie with a straight face
  • Forget birthdays, anniversaries
  • Keep online dating profiles alive while they claim exclusivity to us
  • Say they love us, but then dump us
  • Avoid commitment

justagirliegirl Established Member

justagirliegirl

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How are we supposed to put up with these thing?:D

 

Overly hairy like an ape

small penis

is almost like you are dating a mute statue

starts all attentive and romantic and ends up a lazy slothlike fud

flabby, out of shape, and balding

jen_jen_heartbroken Established Member

jen_jen_heartbroken

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starts all attentive and romantic and ends up a lazy slothlike fud

 

Oh, GOOD one, girliegirl!!!

Unfortunately, it's so true. :mad:

Guest

Guest

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Steph21,

 

What I want to know is how are we supposed to convince ourselves to like and be attracted to "men" who:

 


  • Are shorter than us
  • Have bad teeth
  • Dress/live like slobs
  • Can't keep a job, or are workaholics
  • Live with their parents, and/or momma's boys
  • Are addicted to porn
  • Stare at other women when we are with them
  • Don't call when they say they will
  • Don't do what they say they will
  • Show up late all the time
  • Lie with a straight face
  • Forget birthdays, anniversaries
  • Keep online dating profiles alive while they claim exclusivity to us
  • Say they love us, but then dump us
  • Avoid commitment

 

 

can i get an AMEN!

 

i can live with being shallow....

Yamaha Established Member

Yamaha

Posted
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No by "not fat" i don't mean skeleton-ish, i mean just not fat or chubby as i find this unpleasant. What i'm attracted to is nothing to do with the media, in fact I prefer a lot of normal girls to supermodels for example a lot of them are cuter.

 

I don't think it's shallow to desire a girl you are physically attracted to. If you want nothing to do with overweight people then you may have a problem. Could you be friends with an overweight women? Everyone has things that physically turn us on. They are not the same for everyone so it balances out, overall.

Think of it this way. Would it be fair to the fat women if you pretended to like her?

jen_jen_heartbroken Established Member

jen_jen_heartbroken

Posted
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I don't think it's shallow to desire a girl you are physically attracted to. If you want nothing to do with overweight people then you may have a problem. Could you be friends with an overweight women? Everyone has things that physically turn us on. They are not the same for everyone so it balances out, overall.

Think of it this way. Would it be fair to the fat women if you pretended to like her?

 

Excellent response, Yamaha!

 

And the bottom line is, for whatever reason one isn't attracted to another person, unless the other person is a complete jerk, one should be respectful of the other's feelings. Because every good person deserves love in their life. Leading somone on, or being cruel, is never called for.

pricillia Established Member

pricillia

Posted
Posted
Steph21,

 

What I want to know is how are we supposed to convince ourselves to like and be attracted to "men" who:

  • Are shorter than us
  • Have bad teeth
  • Dress/live like slobs
  • Can't keep a job, or are workaholics
  • Live with their parents, and/or momma's boys
  • Are addicted to porn
  • Stare at other women when we are with them
  • Don't call when they say they will
  • Don't do what they say they will
  • Show up late all the time
  • Lie with a straight face
  • Forget birthdays, anniversaries
  • Keep online dating profiles alive while they claim exclusivity to us
  • Say they love us, but then dump us
  • Avoid commitment

oh my this is so funny jen jen... I wonder if this shallow guy has looked in the mirror, he is probably not getting the girls that are out of his leauge and would like to...I am a curvy woman and like myself the way I am...Hey shallow guy I have to say it but get a life!
mental_traveller Established Member

mental_traveller

Posted
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How do i make myself like fat girls or girls who have faces / facial features i find ugly and unattractive? I don't want to be shallow but i am. So how do i stop?

 

You can like someone regardless of their looks. But you can't like their looks regardless of their looks.

 

Attraction is based on looks and physical qualities as well as personality (and other things). If not then we'd be lusting after loyal friendly dogs or camels. So really let's stop pretending looks don't matter.

 

Now if you dislike someone's *personality* based on their looks, then you are shallow. But finding someone unattractive because they look like the back end of a bus - well that's just natural.

pricillia Established Member

pricillia

Posted
Posted
How do i make myself like fat girls or girls who have faces / facial features i find ugly and unattractive? I don't want to be shallow but i am. So how do i stop?

 

Well I just wonder why you feel that you need to make yourself like girls that are unatractive to you, maybe you should go under some sort of hypnosis... Have you gone through all of the women in your pool and there is no one left, but the women that you find unattractive.

I don't feel sorry for you in the least, beauty fades in all of us...

  • 1 month later...
Ria New Member

Ria

Posted
Posted

Everyone has attractive and unattractive qualities... so it's just a matter of focus.

But here's something you can do to expand the range of people you're attracted to, and experiment with your attractions:

 

Identify a couple traits that are important to you (like sense of humor, kindness to others, sassiness, interest in a particular hobby, social status, or whatever). Just pick one or two traits. Then, the next time you're at a party, focus on finding the person in the room who is the best example of that trait (regardless of physical appearance). Then allow yourself to feel attraction based on that trait. Chat, flirt, but don't take it any further than that (unless you really really want to). Do this a couple times, in a couple different settings. See what you discover about yourself and what you're really attracted to. Your ultimate goal obviously is to find somebody to whom you're both physically and mentally/emotionally attracted. Focusing on the non-physical for a while can be a good exercise to help you build more depth in your relationships.

sha1624

sha1624

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Dont' feeel bad on yourself. Have to look on others perspective. Ugliness never means they really are. Go inside of them to see that not only outside of them have that beauty but also inside. Take time out try to go on search dating like browsing websites that you may find the perfect guy.

Adunaphel Established Member

Adunaphel

Posted
Posted
How do i make myself like fat girls or girls who have faces / facial features i find ugly and unattractive? I don't want to be shallow but i am. So how do i stop?

 

I don't see why you *should*. Really.

 

Everyone has personal preferences when it comes to looks.

It is not fair, not nice, to find someone who might be the perfect girl for you *if only* you didn't find her face ugly. But it happens, and it is not your fault.

 

Luckily, what is ugly for you can be pretty to someone else. Or someone else might not mind at all those physical features that you find a turn off.

 

I am *not* one of the " pretty girls", and I have been told a few times by a few guys that it was a pity I was not their type(physically), because they found my personality and brains very charming.

Like I'm sure has happened to most girls.

I got upset over it, but then realized that everyone is shallow in his/her own way.

 

Most guys find me unattractive, I find most guys not enough intelligent to fit my personal tastes.

So I'm just as shallow.

catgirl1927 Established Member

catgirl1927

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I love jen_jen's post. Has anyone else noticed that good looking guys are not generally as shallow as fugly ones? The only guys who wear the "No Fat Chicks" Tshirts are the ones who can't get it to stretch over their enormous belly...

Adunaphel Established Member

Adunaphel

Posted
Posted
I love jen_jen's post. Has anyone else noticed that good looking guys are not generally as shallow as fugly ones? The only guys who wear the "No Fat Chicks" Tshirts are the ones who can't get it to stretch over their enormous belly...

 

It was very funny :D , though I don't think the OP is really that shallow.

 

You are so right, sometimes good looking guys will be the less "shallow" ones.

 

It is very funny to show up at a party with a guy who looks like a model and watch the facial expression of another guy who has rejected you because "he could not date an unattractive girl" and is also there.

(happened once in my life, will never forget it).:D

catgirl1927 Established Member

catgirl1927

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I didn't mean to imply the OP was THAT shallow. But some guys are, and it's funny...

Adunaphel Established Member

Adunaphel

Posted
Posted
I didn't mean to imply the OP was THAT shallow. But some guys are, and it's funny...

 

I know you didn't, and I am sure that neither did Jen_Jen.

Sorry if I gave the idea of thinking so. :)

aleatoryd Established Member

aleatoryd

Posted
Posted
I don't feel sorry for you in the least, beauty fades in all of us...

 

I agree! While I understand the OP's problem - his mindset. The fact is we all get older and fatter LOL and lose our hair, teeth and sense of smell. Thankfully I'm no where near that stage yet LOL! But if you can't love a person for who they are rather than what they look like then you will have trouble when they no longer have that shiny sports car look.

 

I'm sure by posting your "problem" you've shown you don't really have a serious issue. You just need to be less picky and stop trying to be what you are not. It's very important to be attracted to your patner but not if that's the reason you are with them. Just don't go dating girls you're not really interested in as that's not fair to them. And remember any hot super model you think you want can end up being real boring and self centred. Look for nice normal people. Looks does not equal love.

 

Oh yeah and buy a copy of Shallow Hal and a big tin of stick sticky while you are it.

jen_jen_heartbroken Established Member

jen_jen_heartbroken

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What cracks me up are the dating sites where some ugly fat guy who lives in his parents' basement says he is looking for a slender, blonde who is successful in her career. Guys are such idiots.

catgirl1927 Established Member

catgirl1927

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What cracks me up are the dating sites where some ugly fat guy who lives in his parents' basement says he is looking for a slender, blonde who is successful in her career. Guys are such idiots.

 

:lmao: Some guys are, for sure.

 

And then there's the vapid, mindless playboy bunny who can't talk about anything but how gorgeous she is and how much guys like her who says how mean other women are and how she just doesn't understand why so many good looking guys go for girls she deems "beneath her." Huh. Amazing.

 

PSA: I'm a little bitter about this. I'm WAY personalizing. WAY.

Noos Established Member

Noos

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Catgirl - I'm under the impression from your posts that you can compete better than most with the so-called hot girls.

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