blueberry Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 Hi there Ive been married for 2.5 years and its always been a rocky road - we've had huge fights and I must say most of them have been a result of me drinking. On the odd occasion when I do come home drunk he chooses that time to fight with me - and I get really argumentative. The thing is he has taken to hitting me now and the other night after a wallop around the head and some kickings on the floor - I called the Police. They came and arrested him. I so ashamed of what I had done that I purposefully got myself arrested so that I could go with him. He spent the night in seperate cells and were both let off with cautions. My husband is also a foreigner here and I nearly ruined his chances of having his visa extended as we were lcoked up at the very unfortunate timing of our Home Office interview. Had I not been so drunk I would not have called the Police - but I was cery frightened. We are currently in the same house as I slowly but surely search for a new place to live. The thing is I can feel my resolve starting to waver as I really do love my husband. I am away from my home country and from my family and friends and I do not really want to enlighten them on the whole situ. I have my first AA meeting tomorrow night - not only because of him but because when I look back on my life (I'm 30) I realise that all my stupid mistakes were fuelled by alcohol - so I am really quite keen to give it up. I don't drink regularly, I binge. Thing is - whilst I can see the problems my drinking has done to my marriage - is that an excuse for him to hit me like that? For the most part, and when treated right, he really is a wonderful caring man who will always go the extra mile - but it seems he never has time for me but I do know that he loves me underneath it all. Right now he is moping quietly around the house encouraging my plans to move which hurts me more. It feels like a vicious circle. any advice or is that a stupid question? upset and well confused mx
Curmudgeon Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 There's never an excuse for hitting unless it's in true self defense. I'm glad you're dealing with your drinking problem. Perhaps starting your "life" anew, free of all former entanglements, will help keep you on the road to recovery.
Author blueberry Posted March 25, 2006 Author Posted March 25, 2006 thanks for your comments... i dont really drink that often its just that when i do, i tend to go overboard - its all or nothing it seems, hence the need for help. i guess what i am really wondering is, can i stay with him?
mimzie Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 My father aways abused my mother when he was drunk so I do know how that goes but I was wondering from you, does he only hit you when you are drunk? Is he maybe getting too upset that you are getting too drunk? Is he fine other times? I'm not saying it's ok to hit you, it never is but who knows, maybe he doesnt know how to tell you how to stop the drinking? If he's fine any other time then I would think that maybe he's just doesnt know how to stop you from drinking? Maybe you can research the addictions so he knows that you cant always help the drinking, make him realize that even though you want to quit, it is hard to quit! I am trying to quit smoking and I never imagined it this hard to stop so I couldnt imagine having an alcohol addiction. I hope the best for your AA meetings!! Get all the support you can get!! If you often go drinking with certain friends, make sure to tell them that you are trying to quit and need their help to NOT allow you to drink at all. I know with my smoking, I've continued to smoke because I havent told anyone thinking "Well no one knows I'm trying to quit so I can run down and get another pack" I am going to have to tell everyone I know so they can help me! I hoping today is my last day as a smoker because I plan on doing that tonight with my last cigarette! Anyway, good luck! Rachel
Recommended Posts