MarcoInaros Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 Guys, my social network is so small that that last time I went to a party was 4 years ago. I am 26 now. I hang out with a friend now and then on a one on one basis but I have not been to a party in ages. And I still live with my parents because I am in debt. I read that parties are the best way to meet people, especially girls since you have something in common and that creates rapport. How do I expand my social network? My youth is slipping away.
No Stress Lady Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 You've just got to get out there and meet people for yourself - they're not going to come knocking on your door!!!!! Try speed dating if you want to meet a load of women - alternatively get a hobby - play football/soccer whatever you call it or join some kind of voluntary organisation. What kind of stuff interests you?? Or maybe look to pick up some kind of bar/restaurant work - I did that for a while to earn extra cash and I made some awesome friends who are amongst my best friends now, 12 years later!!!! You really have to get off your ass and make an effort - it might seem hard to take the initial steps but every new person you meet will help your confidence grow, step by step. Good luck!!!!
Guest Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 Do you work? I always find I can meet people through work a lot easier than anywhere else. You get to know each other over time and when you make chit-chat it feels more natural to me in a work environment because it's not so forced and contrived, like a lot of adult parties are. If you dont' work, get a job. If your job does not allow you to socialize with people, find a side job that allows you to work with people and get to know them. Or volunteer for an organization you care about. Or join a club. It takes time and effort and some false starts before you really begin to have a circle of friends that you can count on. Don't wait for them to find you....you have to take the first steps.
luvtoto Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 If your job does not allow you to socialize with people, find a side job that allows you to work with people and get to know them. Or volunteer for an organization you care about. Or join a club. I was just gonna say that. I used to feel like that, too. Not enough partying in my life. I didn't have enough friends so, I started working at a popular bar in town. During that time, I had some really fun times, met some fun people, a horney ape (Halloween..don't ask!), made some awesome money, & it felt like a party every weekend. Plus, I always had the hot guys coming to me...I mean, for drinks. But, hey, beats sitting at home on the weekends.
No Stress Lady Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 I was just gonna say that. I used to feel like that, too. Not enough partying in my life. I didn't have enough friends so, I started working at a popular bar in town. During that time, I had some really fun times, met some fun people, a horney ape (Halloween..don't ask!), made some awesome money, & it felt like a party every weekend. Plus, I always had the hot guys coming to me...I mean, for drinks. But, hey, beats sitting at home on the weekends. Exactly - as I said in my post, working part-time at a bar or restaurant is an EXCELLENT way to meet people..........especially if you're looking to party!!!!!
Author MarcoInaros Posted March 26, 2006 Author Posted March 26, 2006 I do work, 44 hours a week at two different jobs. One or my jobs is in a bookstore (which is a fun job) and the other is an office job. Then I go to the gym usually, get home at around 7, and do whatever. I have meet a few people, but they have never invited me to a party. Maybe they don't like me for some reason. You know I'm getting to the point to where I just don't give a s*** about other people and everyone can go to hell. If my fellow human beings won't accept me then I wont accept them, and we'll all be happier for it. My only goals in life right now are to get rid of my debt, form a career, and move the hell out of this rural area. Making any friends along the way would be an ancillary benefit.
Guest Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 Why don't you throw a party at your house and invite people over?
greenshift Posted March 28, 2006 Posted March 28, 2006 Well, for one thing, you're getting to an age where people tend to be less focused on "partying" and more on spending time with friends. Also, don't take this the wrong way, but just because someone doesn't invite you out doesn't mean that they don't like you - and it's a bit self-centered to think so. Met someone? Want to hang out? Ask 'em. Want to get out more? Go out! Waiting for a riveting social life to beat its way to your door isn't going to get you anywhere.
Author MarcoInaros Posted March 30, 2006 Author Posted March 30, 2006 Why don't you throw a party at your house and invite people over? I would but I live with my parents. I can't afford to live on my own yet. Otherwise I would. I hardly know anyone in my area. I have only a few choices. Besides making friends at work I can try to talk to people more at the gym and maybe join two activities or groups. I should go back to school too. Making relationsihps with complete strangers is extremely difficult. Everyone I know now has a girlfriend to hang out with, or they are busy with something else. I have to become acustomed to being alone I guess.
ddnnee Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 i hate parties because they usually SUCK and are totally BORING. LAN parties are great tho... never been to one but the idea of meeting a bunch of geeks and beating the hell out of them in some games makes me feel good. oh ya and u get to meet some girls (10:1 ratio).
konfuzd Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Well, I think instead of focussing on going to parties, maybe you should focus on moving out of the 'rents place. I don't mean to offend anyone, but people mature a lot when they leave home, and I know that I feel very disconnected from my friends who still live with their folks. Taking on a second job, or a new job all together would both help you meet new people, who may be able to connect you with a social circle, and will also help you be more independent. Besides, apartment buildings are great places to meet new friends.
blue16 Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 You should try online dating, or some form of online networking. I know you have discouraged it in the past, but it's not as bad as it seems. Sites like myspace and such aren't specifically for 'dating' perse, but there a lot of people are looking to meet others. And trust me, there are a lot of attractive people on these sites who have great personalities.
TravelLight Posted April 1, 2006 Posted April 1, 2006 Been in this position myself a few times. I have moved around a lot in life, didn't go to Uni. like most people I went to school with. Very recently ended up in a new town. Didn't know anyone after my partner left me and really wondered how I was going to get through it. What I did, and this didn't happen overnight either, was to look at what my interests were in life. Also, develop some interests that I may not normally go for. Different things. I went to the gym (incidently I have never really talked to anyone at the gym but you are around people and excercise is good for you), started a design course, looked at the listings in the paper about what films were out, what was on at the theatre, galleries etc, talked enthusiasticaly about these things with people I worked with. Asked people if they would like to go sometime. etc. Didn't get too disheartened if they couldn't make it. Made myself upbeat and friendly (but not overbearingly so). Slowly people get drawn into you because you have different things to talk about and once you start doing things with different people you start meeting their friends etc. If you want to expand you're social horizons you shouldn't just rely on one scene. Take it easy.
neek Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 TravelLight has good advice. Find out what you like to do (I know it's hard when you're working a lot and going to the gym, it doesn't feel like you have much time for anything else...I'm trying to do the same) and chances are you'll meet people doing it or by talking to other people about it you'll find someone else with the same interest. DON'T wait for people to invite you out...invite them! Okay, so you can't have house parties cause you live with your parents...but that shouldn't stop you from asking someone out: "Hey, what are you doing this weekend? Wanna grab a bite to eat or get a drink?", etc. Maybe people don't ask you out cause you never ask them (and you might never ask them b/c they haven't asked you yet...a silly circle). Go for it, what's the worst that can happen? They're busy? Ask someone else then. Even if you don't talk to them a ton already, going out can instigate that, and yeah, then you'd find out about their friends, etc. If it's a bad time, one down, however many else to go. No harm in trying. Find a cool restaurant/bar and see who's interested in going to hang out...you don't necesarrily have to work at one to make friends at one (although it is an alternative like others have said). I agree with greenshift...at this age (I'm 25) people are starting to settle down with the partying. Personally I think it's a good thing...which would you rather do? Go to a random party and meet strangers who you feel compelled to bulls*** with, get trashed, possibly make a "mistake" and totally regret it in the morning while recovering from a hangover...OR...take someone out you already know (or have just met even) to a place where you can have good conversation and really get to begin a friendship, and NOT have to regret doing anything stupid while totally wasted the next morning. Oh, and don't go back to school just to meet people, go back because you want the education, and meet people as an added bonus.
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