Cope by Making lists!

[KittenMoon]

I just wanted to share this coping method with people. I haven't done it yet but I know it's something I'll sit down and do soon. After my beloved cat died 5 or so years ago, I made a pages long list of all the things about her I didn't want to forget, so even when I began forgetting I could go back and remember. I'm an avid list maker, so here's a list of lists you could make to help you get all the stuff in your head out. I think it would be good to do all of them, "good" and "bad" because those two things are the cornerstones of any relationship.

 

Make a list of:

• all the good qualities about him/her

• all the memories you do not want to forget about him/her- things you did, things they said, etc

• all the bad qualities of him/her

• all the things you WANT to forget about him/her (then maybe burn this list so you do forget!)

• all the things you would like to say to your ex (angry things, nice things, apologies, etc)

• all the things you would like your ex to say to you

• all the things your ex will miss out on because they are not with you

• all the good qualities about yourself that your ex will no longer experience but that someone else someday will

• all the things you can do now in your life without anyone influencing your time/decisions

 

Do one, a few, or all of these. I am a big advocate of confronting your pain- getting right in its face- even if you are sobbing hysterically about all the things you will miss, you will feel better for the catharsis.

 

Sometimes you have to remember and acknowledge all of your pain in order to forget it and move past it.

 

Hope this helps someone.

[Apathetic]

Thats a good idea.Im going through so many different emotions over my ex that I feel like ripping my hair out..One day I swear to myself that I am never going to talk to him,that this is it for good,I then find myself talking to him THE NEXT DAY!..I think I need to make a list,maybe that will help me:confused: