starr3546 Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 Ok seriously what is this dude thinking... IF YOU FIGURE IT OUT OR HAVE ANY CLUE...U ARE MY FREAKIN SAVIOR My ex we broke up on good terms he broke up with me outta no where, said he didn't want to be committed at this point of his life....didn't talk for 2 months, then he called and we have been talking again on and off. i know he is dating other peopole when he has the time, because he is extremely busy with school and working.... He told me he wants to be friends with me right now and he isn't looking for romance, but when i asked if he only cared about me as a friend, he said no he cares about me obVioulsy more than that.... NOW HERE IS THE THING.... 2 WEEKS AGO HE INVITED ME TO WASHINGTON D.C. TO GO VISIT HIS FRIEND THAT WAS MARRIED AND TO GO SITE SEE...I WAS CONFUSED WHEN HE ASKED ME TO GO, BECAUSE I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN THE GIRL I KNOW HE HAS BEEN SEEIN A LIL BIT....SO I SAID YES AND WE WENT, I ASKED HIM IF I WAS THE ONLY PERSON HE ASKED AND HE SAID YES, I ASKED HIM WHY HE DIDN'T TAKE THE OTHER GIRL I KNOW HE IS KINDA SEEING, HE SAID CAUSE THEY HAVE ONLY BEEN OUT 2 TIMES AND THAT HE JUST COULDN'T TAKE HER... THE WHOLE WEEK WAS TOTALLY LIKE A DATE THING...HE PAID FOR EVERYTHING, TOOK ME OUT TO EAT TO NICE DINNERS WALKED AROUND ALL DAY TOGETHER....IT JUST SEEMED LIKE SUCH A COUPLE THING TO TAKE YOUR EX TOO NOW THE WHOLE WEEK HE DIDN'T TRY ANYTHING, NOT TO CUDDLE OR BE INTIMATE, OR ANYTHING, IT WAS VERY STRANGE....I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO THINK ABOUT THIS....I HAD TO INITIATE SEX AND EVERYTHING, I MEAN I AM NOT GOING ON VACA WITH MY X AND NOT HAVING SOME SEX... WE HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME AND EVERYTHING, WE GET ALONG AMAZING...I THINK WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER AND WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER ARE SEX LIFE WAS SPECACULAR.... THEN ON THE WAY HOME, I NOTICED HE HAD THIS BELL IN HIS CUP HOLDER THAT HE GOT WHEN WE WENT TO THIS WEDDING TOGETHER BACK IN AUGUST...IT WAS STILL IN HIS CAR IN THE SAME SPOT IT WAS WHEN WE BROKE UP...NOW THIS IS WEIRD TO....WHY WOULD HE STILL HAVE THAT....I MEAN THAT WEDDING WAS SOOO LONG AGO, HE TOLD ME THAT HE JUST HAD ALL THE JUNK CLEANED OUT OF HIS CAR AND THREW A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF WAY...BUT THAT WAS STILL THERE...I ASKED HIM WHY HE STILL HAD IT AND HE RESPONDE WITH B/C IT IS CUTE AND THEN I JOKINGLY SAID AW...DO YOU THINK OF ME EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT...AND HE SAID OF COURSE I DO WHO ELSE WOULD I THINK OF.. WE GOT HOME LATE, SO I STAYED THE NIGHT AT HIS HOUSE...WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, NOT EVEN CUDDLE... IN THE MORNING I LEFT AND HE GAVE ME A KISS GOOD BYE...NOT A LONG ONE BUT A PECK ON THE LIPS AND I WAS OFF... WE TALKED A FEW TIMES SINCE...HE WANTED THE PICTURES THAT WERE ON MY DIGITAL CAMERA...I DIDN'T HAVE THEM UP YET THE FIRST TIME WE TALKED, BUT WE TALKED NONE THE LESS ABOUT THINGS...ABOUT HOW MY MOM WAS MAD THAT I WENT WITH HIM, BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT ME TO BE UPSET ABOUT HIM ANYMORE....HE ASKED IF I WAS UPSET, I SAID NO...Y WOULD I BE...AND PRETTY MUCH THEN JUST TALKED ABOUT OTHER THINGS...THEN THE NEXT DAY I GAVE HIM THE PICS AND AFTER TEHY WERE DONE LOADING I TRIED TO TELL HIM SOMETHING AND HE JUST GOES OK...AND SIGNED OFF INSTANT MESSENGER....I WAS PISSED CAUSE I THOUGHT THAT WAS RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL...Y WOULD HE TAKE ME SOMEWHERE AND THEN BE RUDE TO ME....I KNOW HE HAS HUNG OUT WITH THE OTHER GIRL THAT I KNOW HE WAS TALKING WITH SINCE WE HAVE BEEN BACK, WHICH I DON'T CARE ABOUT, I JUST WISH I COULD FIGURE EVEN A LIL SMIDGE OF WHAT IS GOING ON IN THAT MIND OF HIS.... DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS BOYS MINE....
SuperMonk Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 Seems like he's trying to reel you back into the relationship. Try to use more lower cases when posting internet messages.
Kengne Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 Ok seriously what is this dude thinking... IF YOU FIGURE IT OUT OR HAVE ANY CLUE...U ARE MY FREAKIN SAVIOR ....I KNOW HE HAS HUNG OUT WITH THE OTHER GIRL THAT I KNOW HE WAS TALKING WITH SINCE WE HAVE BEEN BACK, WHICH I DON'T CARE ABOUT, I JUST WISH I COULD FIGURE EVEN A LIL SMIDGE OF WHAT IS GOING ON IN THAT MIND OF HIS.... DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS BOYS MINE.... Hi starr3456, Remember me? I certainly remember you. What I've determined from your current post is: 1) Your ex does not want to be in a committed relationship, right now 2) Your ex still cares about you 3) Your ex is dating other people, and this supposedly doesn't bother you, AND LAST 4) Your ex and you have entered a FWB relationship I don't think he signed off MSN quickly to be rude. Maybe he had to go, and just didn't notice that you still wanted to talk. I've done that to ppl before by accident. I don't think you should take it personal, but I believe that you ARE taking it personal because of the fact that 1) he took you on this trip and 2) you guys had amazing sex. You're getting emotional girl - the #1 downfall of a FWB relationship. Is this the sort of situation you want for yourself? I can see why your mom would be upset with you, after you repeatedly posted on here about not wanting to be 'just his friend'. It was all or nothing back then. But now - not only are you friends -WHICH IS FINE, you're Friends With Benefits - WHICH IS ALSO FINE, IF that's what YOU want and YOU can handle it. I'm not trying to judge you girl, just stating the facts as I see them. And if this is 100% acceptable to you - more power to you girl, DO YOU. RE: the trip. I wouldn't read too much into this. Yes he paid, took you out to dinners etc... but who is to say 6 mths from now when he knows that Other Girl better he won't take HER on a trip etc...? The point is - he's free to take whomever now that he's single. So I hope you don't start thinking that just because he took you on this trip, it means something 'special' to him blah blah blah... In the same vein - the bell in the cupholder? I think you're reading too much into that. He has a little momento from a wedding you guys both went to which he held onto because he tht he was cute. I have a little teddy bear given to me by me ex that I still have hanging from my rear-view mirror - also because I think it's cute. My point - it really doesn't mean ANYTHING. As to you figuring out what he's thinking and what's going on... I think it's pretty clear, no? He's having his cake, and eating it too. He has you in his life, he can have sex with you and he can date other girls freely - all this without the requirements of a committed relationship with ANYONE. This is his reality. Now what is yours? Do you continue in this situation, or do you stop now? There's no right or wrong - as long as you keep your eyes open to what is going on at all times, & have NO expectations of your ex. Good luck girl! K.
freckles3131 Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 He is: comfortable with you and you are familiar to him he is keeping you as plan b it feeds his ego to know you're still "around" he cares about you/prob. even desires you, but just isn't that into you.
Delectable Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 copied and pasted from your double post of this... Quote: I JUST WISH I COULD FIGURE EVEN A LIL SMIDGE OF WHAT IS GOING ON IN THAT MIND OF HIS.... Honey I'm going to help you understand using a few of your own words....because I think you, unfortunately Quote: Believe you are made for each other that you are in complete denial of what exactly is going on. It is like you have created a fantasy that you are trying to force into reality out of his sincere acts to try and be your friend.... What's on his mind; Quote: he broke up with me outta no where, said he didn't want to be committed at this point of his life he is dating other peopole when he has the time He told me he wants to be friends with me right now and he isn't looking for romance That is what he is thinking...he was in a relationship with you and while I don't think it was out of nowhere because you might have been unable or unwilling to see it coming but he broke up with you because he no longer wants to be your boyfriend...He said it clearly...he doesn't want to be committed at this point in his life and he is putting actions behind his words and actively is dating other people. He told you he just wants to be your friend. So he asked you to go to DC to site see. The trip was his idea...why wouldn't he pay for everything. His intentions were clear once again....putting actions behind his words Quote: HE DIDN'T TRY ANYTHING, NOT TO CUDDLE OR BE INTIMATE, OR ANYTHING I HAD TO INITIATE SEX AND EVERYTHING, Of course he didn't initiate sex. He didn't want/intend to have sex with you. You seduced him on the general principal that one shouldn't vacation with their ex and not have sex. Why Not? YES YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO VACATION AS FRIENDS IF YOU ARE REALLY TAKING A STAB AT TRYING TO BE FRIENDS....but you are unable or unwilling to do that.. you couldn't respect his intentions. You're human...you may be unable or unwilling to accept what he wants...but known what he wants and how different it is from what you are able or willing to accept you should have stayed home. Instead you have proved to him that you are probably unable to be just friends...which is really unfortunate - but undertandable if that is where you are.... Quote: , but when i asked if he only cared about me as a friend, he said no he cares about me obVioulsy more than that.... <-of course...you used to be boyfriend and girlfriend...while it is probably not an easy decision to leave someone...he made it clear a romantic relationship with you was not what he wanted...he probably still has residual feelings. He is human...people aren't light switches...just because he has realized that you two do not belong together doesn't mean he probably doesn't think very fondly of you...more than just the average friend. But he is only desires to see you AS A FRIEND Quote: I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN THE GIRL I KNOW HE HAS BEEN SEEIN A LIL BIT.... well he answered this question for you...why don't you take him at his word... Quote: I ASKED HIM WHY HE DIDN'T TAKE THE OTHER GIRL I KNOW HE IS KINDA SEEING, HE SAID CAUSE THEY HAVE ONLY BEEN OUT 2 TIMES AND THAT HE JUST COULDN'T TAKE HER... uh yeah...asking a girl that you have only gone on two dates with to go away for a week...well it might give the girl signals that you want to be in a more committed relationship with her. He broke up with you because HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP AT THIS POINT IN HIS LIFE...this is a direct quote from him to you...when he was breaking up with you...why would he want to give this girl a mixed message...by not asking her he is staying true to his word. Quote: THEN ON THE WAY HOME, I NOTICED HE HAD THIS BELL IN HIS CUP HOLDER THAT HE GOT WHEN WE WENT TO THIS WEDDING TOGETHER BACK IN AUGUST...IT WAS STILL IN HIS CAR IN THE SAME SPOT IT WAS WHEN WE BROKE UP...NOW THIS IS WEIRD TO....WHY WOULD HE STILL HAVE THAT....I MEAN THAT WEDDING WAS SOOO LONG AGO, HE TOLD ME THAT HE JUST HAD ALL THE JUNK CLEANED OUT OF HIS CAR AND THREW A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF WAY...BUT THAT WAS STILL THERE...I ASKED HIM WHY HE STILL HAD IT AND HE RESPONDE WITH B/C IT IS CUTE THIS is where I believe you are creating a fantasy life for yourself. If you go to a wedding and have a wedding favor. It is a memento of the couple that got married NOT who you went to the wedding with. It seems like you can't even fathom the fact that he might actually have the bell because he DOES just think it's cute. Then you take it another step and ask Quote: AND THEN I JOKINGLY SAID AW...DO YOU THINK OF ME EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT...AND HE SAID OF COURSE I DO WHO ELSE WOULD I THINK OF.. It could appear that you are continuously brow beating him to think of you romantically and not as a friend. Quote: I STAYED THE NIGHT AT HIS HOUSE...WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, NOT EVEN CUDDLE...IN THE MORNING I LEFT AND HE GAVE ME A KISS GOOD BYE...NOT A LONG ONE BUT A PECK ON THE LIPS AND I WAS OFF... because he didn't want to do anything with you in DC....I am curious to know if you attempted to seduce him that night? Probably not...which is why NOTHING HAPPENED. Quote: WE TALKED A FEW TIMES SINCE...HE WANTED THE PICTURES THAT WERE ON MY DIGITAL CAMERA...I DIDN'T HAVE THEM UP YET THE FIRST TIME WE TALKED, BUT WE TALKED NONE THE LESS ABOUT THINGS...ABOUT HOW MY MOM WAS MAD THAT I WENT WITH HIM, BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT ME TO BE UPSET ABOUT HIM ANYMORE....HE ASKED IF I WAS UPSET, I SAID NO...Y WOULD I BE... This is very passive agressive. The final red flag went up for him. YES it is reasonable that he would want pictures of a friend he is espically fond of on vacation. And you have to bring up the break up and your heart ache over it...you never seem to give your friendship a chance. Quote: I TRIED TO TELL HIM SOMETHING AND HE JUST GOES OK...AND SIGNED OFF INSTANT MESSENGER.... He was running...I'm curious to know if you were trying to 'tell him something' about your relationship or feelings.
Dinnj1 Posted March 29, 2006 Posted March 29, 2006 sheeesh, big response above... OR this could be summed up with a shorter answer... I ASKED HIM IF I WAS THE ONLY PERSON HE ASKED AND HE SAID YES, She told him no. Do you really think he's gonna say..."Well, I asked Tracy, Jennifer, Lucy, Marsha, Jan AND Cindy...they all said no, so I asked you"? Next time, don't be so 'available'
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