Guest Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 I just started reading this today, but from the first entry I knew there was someone else, but only because when I was younger I did the cheating first, breakup second thing. Not good and it always led to that guilt-distance behavior that you just witnessed from him. I am really glad to see that you hit anger phase, but really sorry that he screwed you like that financially! Are you doing anything physical? I found that when my ex of 2 1/2 yrs broke up with me that walking daily really helped. One of my friends also found it cathartic to burn old relationship photos, obviously in a controlled environment.
Pantero Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 well i've found out the whole reason for our break up now.i know i wanted closure but i didn't think it would effect me this way. i rang the ex 2 days ago to find out when he was coming over cos he was bringing over money for another bill (everything was in my name) when i said hello he thought i was HER. he seemed quite happy until he figured out it was me. i asked him who she was and he tried telling me she was a friend. He came over yesterday and i told him to stop lying to me. so he told me he has been seeing her for 2 weeks. huh what a lie he broke up with me almost 2 months ago. the only thing he wanted from me was to sign the car over to him (stupid me) did so last wednesday. all he kept saying to me about him and this girl was "what's it to you". all he's done is lie to me over the last 2 months. he then said it's all my fault. like i pushed him into the arms of another women. trying to pass the blame onto me. he's a gutless weak man. i have cancelled his phone because it's in my name and have only found out that he has racked up alot of money on it. and do not think that he is going to pay for it. why on earth is he behaving as if i'm the one who has done wrong? considering he has left me for another women. why do i have to pick up not only mine but his pieces aswell? it is such a wrong thing to do to someone that you supposedly were in love with for 2 years. how can all that change over night i don't understand. i am so mad and upset right i don't know what to do. That really, really sucks. I feel bad that this happened to you. All I can tell you is what I'd probably do if I was in your position and that is to make the cleanest break you can. Take care of this financial stuff - you can always make up the damage later. If he wants you to pick up some of the pieces for him (the phone bill) then do it because the phone is in your name and you don't want to hurt yourself financially even though this loser rang up your bill. You found out what is really going on and it says a lot about his character. You're better off without him. He'll probably do to his new g/f what he did to you. I know it sounds harsh, but if there ever was a time for NC, it'd have to be around now - provided all the financial issues have been resolved. And remember - IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. He dumped you. He doesn't deserve any heartbreak you have for him. Time will heal you. Hang in there!
lovelorcet Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 I really know how this feels bb, I am so sorry for you; my heart goes out to you. Follow the advice that was just given. Get your financial stuff taken care of, play it cool and calm and then drop him like a bad habit. No it is not easy I am struggling myself to for get the person I was with for 10 years but that is just what I have to do. Be happy that he showed his true colors only after a few years and now you have the chance to find someone better. It all takes time though…
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