Girlfriend's PMS is driving me nuts!

[Gorgeous]

First off, hello. Obviously this is my first post here, so I want to say thanks in advance to any and all who offer some advice.

 

The situation at hand is as follows:

My girlfriend and I have a strong and passionate relationship. We live together and do everything together. We make a great team, and are madly in love. (Been together for 2 years)

But, as the thread topic hints, about 3-4 days a month, I can't do anything right. Honestly, it's like everything will be going great (not good, GREAT) and then BAM! She'll misinterpret something I say and take a HUGE offense. She'll basically create a situation that doesn't even EXIST!

 

Like I said, we live together (in a smaller 1 bdrm, no less) so just being absent for this 3-4 days is out of the question. Obviously I'm going to have to come home sometime... So I need some help, PLEASE.

 

For the record, she doesn't experience any other PMS related things. No cramps, no physical symptoms, and it's not like she's depressed. As I said before, things will be going great (i.e. laughing, kissing, saying "I love you") and then out of nowhere... Doom.

 

Again, thanks in advance!

-J

[basscatcher]

I've been known to get like that.

I am fine, everythng is great and then bamm I get moody, emotional like the snap of the finger.

I know at this time my hormones are off balance, I am not feeling very strong physcially from the loss of Iron, B-complex, and other vitamins and minerals from the blood-loss.

I am much more sensitive and the insecurities I have come rushing forward.

 

when you gf isn't PMSing maybe open up a conversation of her deep feeling insecurities she has. You might find that when her hormone levels change with the changes going on in her body you can connect the type of arguement with that part of her that still needs healing.

My weakness and scars that still hurt come up..

ex:

fear of abandonment

fear of not being attractive enough

or even the little things I am missing in my partner emphasize that I normally can accept

 

You can make adjustments at her PMS time to see if you can help her through this emotional time.. Believe me she is suffering from PMS emotions as much as you are having to put up with them.. After the PMS subsides I carry a lot of guilt for my behavior.

 

Hope this gave you a little something to chew on.

[Gorgeous]

Thanks, padameckla.

It's so hard to believe that she's suffering as much as I am when this goes on. I know that's stupid to think or say, but it's true. She never expresses any guilt, or offers any apologies afterward. She can be a very stubborn person, even when her hormones aren't affected by PMS.

I am, however going to do my best to try and remember this. I dunno, maybe it will help me in guiding my actions during these 3-4 days.

As far as talking with her about it, I guess that's something that needs to happen. Honestly, I don't forsee any good coming out of that, but I hope to prove myself wrong.

Any last advice before I go home for the day?

[basscatcher]

Thanks, padameckla.

It's so hard to believe that she's suffering as much as I am when this goes on. I know that's stupid to think or say, but it's true. She never expresses any guilt, or offers any apologies afterward. She can be a very stubborn person, even when her hormones aren't affected by PMS.

I am, however going to do my best to try and remember this. I dunno, maybe it will help me in guiding my actions during these 3-4 days.

As far as talking with her about it, I guess that's something that needs to happen. Honestly, I don't forsee any good coming out of that, but I hope to prove myself wrong.

Any last advice before I go home for the day?

 

Be patient.. Love her no matter what and always remind her. Hug her often and keep communication..

Yes she suffers too. It's not fun to be on the rollercoaster of emotions and not really understanding it all herself.

She may not realize it herself even though she is the one doing it. We can be blind too.

[Guest]

There's a bunch of sites that you can read about PMS at. Some suggest different vitamins and supplements. If she already takes vitamins, you can maybe find other good reasons for her to take the ones that are good for PMS like Vitamin E or the Bs. If she doesn't take them, maybe be sneaky and figure out which foods contain lots of those vitamins and persuade her to eat them with you somehow. Also, get carbs into her; part of the problem is that PMS messes with serotonin; carbs help raise it and that can be a very good thing.

 

And yes, understanding is paramount. You say she's proud so she probably doesn't want to admit that her body controls her during those times. But our bodies have the upper hand and, like it or not, she can't will it to not be so. You would be astonished at how your emotions can change in a snap with PMS - it would be great if men could have it once or twice and then they'd see that it's almost scary to turn into a grump over nothing.

 

I love and adore my vitamins; they've made a huge difference for me so if there's any way you can get them into her, you might just find they help her, too. Just google PMS symptoms and treatment and look for good medical sites (the ones not trying to sell you their 'miracle' cures).

[daphne]

Thanks, padameckla.

Any last advice before I go home for the day?

 

Wear a cup.

 

Sorry, we get that way but I'd like to think that I give my so the heads' up and try to recognize while I'm in it that I'm taking things entirely too personally. Try to draw her out about it. She can't be that lacking in self awareness

[johan]

I recommend you let it all roll off your back like beer does off a duck's. Well, not beer, I wouldn't waste a beer by pouring it on a duck. At least not Guiness. You could pour a Budweiser on a duck, and that wouldn't be such a waste. Drink the Guiness though.

 

Maybe have a couple before you go home. That would help.

 

You just have to let her be whatever kind of monster she's going to be for a couple days. There is absolutely no way to win or conquer PMS. You'll only aggravate it by trying to face it. Don't try to hold her accountable or get her to act any other way. Don't defend yourself. Just try to avoid it if you can. The crazy thing about PMS is that, after it's over, women appear to have no recollection of what it turned them into. They emerge happy and bright, and actually very sweet if you just don't make it worse yourself.

 

I probably didn't help. Remember this though: Drink Guiness. Pour Budweiser on ducks.

[mitchilicious]

girls will be always be girl.....swing moods....when they decide on things the next tme they will changes it again.....whew!!! me too cant control myself....and i dont even know why.....one time im so sweet and the other time im so pissed off......so try to extend ure patience....

[Gorgeous]

You just have to let her be whatever kind of monster she's going to be for a couple days. There is absolutely no way to win or conquer PMS. You'll only aggravate it by trying to face it. Don't try to hold her accountable or get her to act any other way. Don't defend yourself. Just try to avoid it if you can. The crazy thing about PMS is that, after it's over, women appear to have no recollection of what it turned them into. They emerge happy and bright, and actually very sweet if you just don't make it worse yourself.

The more I think about it, this is probably the best advice... I'm a very D.I.Y. kind of guy, so not conquering something is not really an option. I guess I'll have to suck it up. Thanks a bunch, man.

 

girls will be always be girl.....swing moods....when they decide on things the next tme they will changes it again.....whew!!! me too cant control myself....and i dont even know why.....one time im so sweet and the other time im so pissed off......so try to extend ure patience....

Isn't it funny how that works. I'm very logic based, so I suppose it'll never make sense... I'll do my best though. Thanks, doll.

[littlekitty]

I recommend you let it all roll off your back like beer does off a duck's. Well, not beer, I wouldn't waste a beer by pouring it on a duck. At least not Guiness. You could pour a Budweiser on a duck, and that wouldn't be such a waste. Drink the Guiness though.

 

Maybe have a couple before you go home. That would help.

 

You just have to let her be whatever kind of monster she's going to be for a couple days. There is absolutely no way to win or conquer PMS. You'll only aggravate it by trying to face it. Don't try to hold her accountable or get her to act any other way. Don't defend yourself. Just try to avoid it if you can. The crazy thing about PMS is that, after it's over, women appear to have no recollection of what it turned them into. They emerge happy and bright, and actually very sweet if you just don't make it worse yourself.

 

I probably didn't help. Remember this though: Drink Guiness. Pour Budweiser on ducks.

 

One word.... fabulous!!

[Lil Honey]

Gorgeous: If you think she won't take offense to discussing her mood changes, you could suggest Vitamin B (a stress vitamin) and possibly changing her birth control (a different form pill vs patch, or a different dosage).

 

What you can do:

1. Keep your distance. It's a small apartment, but you can go outside to get some air.

2. Let her have her space. Don't crowd her with extra projects or places to go.

3. Try to understand how she might feel. Feeling bloated (especially in the abdomen) is like having a balloon of water in there and isn't comfortable. Some women get achy all over while others get backaches. Others get migraines. On top of all of that we have to worry about the whole mechanics and supplies of it all. None of it is fun.

 

If more men would understand that we do that AND keep all the balls juggling in the air at once, they might appreciate us more . . . or not. *sigh*

[max003]

Buy her chocolate, dont speak until spoken to, dont bang things around or make noise, dont change the channel if she's watching something.

Seriously though, i get really bad PMS and my boyf is a saint to put up with it. During that time i feel lonely, fat, ugly and unwanted. I take it out on him, because (and this sounds evil i know) i know he cares. because at that delicate time i expect him to deal with everything for me, and he cant. I know im being a bitch and i hate myself more for it, i dont mean it and althought thats no excuse it is a reason. Be patient and tell her you love her, when my boyf does that to me i usually end up crying and he comforts me- sorted!

[joshua1983]

hey man...ah PMS. To be blunt its just one of those things you gotta swallow, and just be nice about. Chicks can't help being moody or acting like a time bomb before that time o the month. So I guess with the hormones going crazy and all we gotta cut them some slack. I find it always easier to let my girlfriend have her way during PMS. It just works out so much easier and tension free. Anyway that's my 50 cents.

[Lil Honey]

dont change the channel if she's watching something.

Don't change the channel on any other day either. That's just plain rude. My ex used to do that crap to me . . . which is why he is my ex. It shows ZERO respect for another person.