i think i worry too much

[hugznkisses21]

Hey Guys,

 

I think I just need a bit of support here. Im not looking to be bashed cause my insecurities but instead im looking on how to improve.

 

I came out of a 2.5 year relationship that wasn’t very fulfilling; no effort on his part and in the end got my heart very broken. Since coming out of that I have been happy and very excited to move on without the pain and discomfort I have in that relationship.

 

Since then I have met an awesome guy. He is caring, sweet, funny, fun etc. We have been dating for just about a mnth. In the very beginning weeks there were frequent call, flowers, dinner etc etc. Slowly calls turned into once every two days which im not complaining but coming from where I came from I was a bit worried he was loosing interest. So I asked him and he said no…he doesn’t play games and would be straight forward if that is what he wanted. So just last week he got accepted to the police force. It a big huge step for him which brings lots of training and stress to start out. I am soooo very proud of him.

 

So I was with him last Friday…we had a great night and since then I have talked to him twice…both times he has seemed distant. I dont want him to think that I cant be without him or that I need to be smothered by him all the time but I do want to know he is thinking or misses me and I want him to know he misses me too.

 

Last night when I spoke to him he sounded tired and crabby…long week im sure, very busy and just out of trying to make light cute convo I said…”so you haven’t forgotten about me yet have you?” cause we haven’t talked much etc. I know in a way I said it cause its sweet to hear him say the sweet things he used to say in the very beginning like how I make him smile all the time etc. After I said that he just said “no ive been busy” sounding all annoyed. So we chatted a bit more….he sounded tired and distracted so I said sounds like your mid is all over the place….he said “ahhh ya new career change” so I just said “ I see, ya I remember when I move to my new job it can be soo exciting”

 

I guess I just don’t want to be annoying to him…it would be nice to hear that initial excitement to talk to me in his voice, although I know he is very distracted. I guess what im saying is how can I cope with this in the best way…the stress and distraction…or is it timing and maybe I should tell him timing is off and I can see we are at different points.

 

I just adore him and I know he likes me….i guess I don’t understand males phone mannerisms???

[whats wrong with me]

I have no idea what to tell you, I can relate to alot of the things you've said but I too

don’t understand males phone mannerisms???

!!!

[whats wrong with me]

I have no idea what to tell you, I can relate to alot of the things you've said but I too

don’t understand males phone mannerisms???

!!!

[Kengne]

Hey Guys,

 

I think I just need a bit of support here. Im not looking to be bashed cause my insecurities but instead im looking on how to improve.

 

I came out of a 2.5 year relationship that wasn’t very fulfilling; no effort on his part and in the end got my heart very broken. Since coming out of that I have been happy and very excited to move on without the pain and discomfort I have in that relationship.

 

Since then I have met an awesome guy. He is caring, sweet, funny, fun etc. We have been dating for just about a mnth. In the very beginning weeks there were frequent call, flowers, dinner etc etc. Slowly calls turned into once every two days which im not complaining but coming from where I came from I was a bit worried he was loosing interest. So I asked him and he said no…he doesn’t play games and would be straight forward if that is what he wanted. So just last week he got accepted to the police force. It a big huge step for him which brings lots of training and stress to start out. I am soooo very proud of him.

 

So I was with him last Friday…we had a great night and since then I have talked to him twice…both times he has seemed distant. I dont want him to think that I cant be without him or that I need to be smothered by him all the time but I do want to know he is thinking or misses me and I want him to know he misses me too.

 

Last night when I spoke to him he sounded tired and crabby…long week im sure, very busy and just out of trying to make light cute convo I said…”so you haven’t forgotten about me yet have you?” cause we haven’t talked much etc. I know in a way I said it cause its sweet to hear him say the sweet things he used to say in the very beginning like how I make him smile all the time etc. After I said that he just said “no ive been busy” sounding all annoyed. So we chatted a bit more….he sounded tired and distracted so I said sounds like your mid is all over the place….he said “ahhh ya new career change” so I just said “ I see, ya I remember when I move to my new job it can be soo exciting”

 

I guess I just don’t want to be annoying to him…it would be nice to hear that initial excitement to talk to me in his voice, although I know he is very distracted. I guess what im saying is how can I cope with this in the best way…the stress and distraction…or is it timing and maybe I should tell him timing is off and I can see we are at different points.

 

I just adore him and I know he likes me….i guess I don’t understand males phone mannerisms???

 

Hi hugz...

 

You've been dating for a month, and the initial high attraction phase has worn down. This is natural. That 'excitement' and 'butterflies in your stomach' feeling will fade with time. To expect him to be as lovey-dovey as he was then, NOW or even all the time is unrealistic. When it comes to intimacy & all that gushy emotional stuff - men fluctuate back & forth. They do not experience a steady, constant need to express their feelings like we women do. You need to accept this as natural. There is nothing wrong with your bf, and he is not nec losing interest in you.

 

Couple that with him starting a new job in the POLICE force i.e. NEW STRESS ... now is NOT the time for you to become all needy & clingy on him, and thus add even MORE stress onto his plate. ESP because you guys have only been dating for ONE MONTH?? This is too soon to be acting all like the needy girlfriend. Just 'llow him!

 

You need to become even busier with YOUR life, so his decreased presence in it is compensated by other things, people, hobbies etc...

 

Feel free to tell him you miss him, but I wouldn't suggest it UNLESS you can do so without ANY expecations of hearing him say it back to you. Don't be hurt if he doesn't. It seems like he has alot of things going on in his life right now, and may just not be in 'Boyfriend' mode for the moment.

 

I'm sure it'll pass once things settle in for him during training and he learns how to balance it all.

 

K.

[hugznkisses21]

K,

 

Thank you very much for that.

I dotn feel like the annoying girl anymore. I definatly took what you said and im going to work with it.

 

Thank you so very much you made me feel mych better