v8adam Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 Hi everyone, this is my first time posting. I need advice from anyone at all. Firstly some background info, i'am 22 and my girlfriend is 19. We have known each other for a few years. We officially started being a couple 2 months ago but we were "seeing each other" for a month before that. I have just moved in with my girlfriend who lived 100km from my parents place. I quit my job, got a new job here and left my family and friends to be with her. I love her very much and care about her very much. We are in love, we say it lots and we have looked forward to living together for ages. But... ive been here for 4 or 5 days and im confused, worried, parranoid, jelous and so on. Saturday night she was keeping the night free for us to be together, go for a walk etc cos it was my first night living here. But her friend wanted her to go over her place for some drinks, and so she went. Now my girlfriend is a very social person, and im not. Probably also to the fact that i dont drink or smoke and i left all my friends to come here. So i was sitting at my new home cleaning up, unpacking on what was meant to be my first night here with her. Well the night didnt end up so badly cos we ended up making love b4 we went to bed, mind you it was better for then for me cos she got these condoms that were for "extra pleasure" meaning they dont make u blow as quick and i didnt get to that stage. Anyway she is really moody like one minute she is affectionate, next she is pissed off, next she is...well you get the drift. Next day she had this guy from her work (she is a mechanic so she works in a wrokshop full of guys), i like the bloke, he is an older guy and i get along great with him and he helps my gf with learning mechanics, anyway him and his partner came over for a bake dinner, that was nice. Anyway cut long story's short that night she would be on the phone to him or messaging him or her best friend while im there. Next day she goes to bed early and guess what i hear her talking to the guy from work, she messages me in the arvo and tells me she is going to friends place after work then she comes home grabs something and tells me she is going curtain shopping with the guy from works partner. She comes home and goes to bed, and yet again she gets phone calls and messages all night. Tuesday, i wake up and the guy from work is picking her up to take her to work, after work she had to go work on a car as like abit of extra cash sorta thing with the guy from work and she comes home at abut 8pm and has had a few drinks, she was cool tho she wanted to have a shower and sit down with me and have some milo and spend time with me. She cut her finger last week and cant get it wet and she got it wet when she had a shower so she got out and asked me if i could go down to the chemist and get a bandage so i did, i walk in the door and she is on the phone telling the guy from work how much it hurt and stuff, it's like she tells everyone more about her llife then she tells me. Anyway after that she just went to bed, i had a story to tell her from something that happened suring the day but didnt get a chance to tell her. Wednesday morning the guy picks her up from home again and after work she has another mechanic job, she got home and wasnt in the best of moods, she called her mum, nan and other people and didnt notice any housework i did, any unpacking i did, nothing. she went to bed and it was our anniversary. Sorry for the long story. More to it is, when we first had sex a month ago she said now we wud have more sex in our relationship, well in the last month we have done it 3 times. And on Sunday night i was cuddling her in the kitchen and she said i was too "clingy" that pisses me off. I just get the feeling that now we are living together things in our relationship are very very differant and not in a good way. I mean she spends hardly anytime with me and we hardly talk. Ive got plenty of time for her, she's got none for me. I want to marry this girl, im taking her shopping tonight if she isnt busy to look at jewlerly shops so i know how much im up for with an engagement ring. We have discussed it and she said she would marry me if i asked, mind you we did discuss that a few weeks ago. Can anyone help me make sense of my situation and give me some advice?
MusicWoman Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 Hey, I just want to start bluntly if you don't mind... If you count on her for everything this relationship is not going to work out at all. What I mean is that yes, you moved 100km away to move in with her...you uprooted your life. Now, your not only having to work on this new and different change with your girlfriend of living together..but you don't know anyone else there. I suggest you get busy. Meet some other people around town, get out of the house and do something. Talk to friends from where you were...get involved in work. If you start just waiting for your girlfriend to give you attention your going to be very lonely. Remember, its not just a change for you but for her as well. She is used to having this life that you just kind of moved into. She is probably kind of rebelling a bit as well. So, instead of asking her to stay at home all the time and getting needy...tell her you want to take her out on friday or saturday or something. Make a date even though you live together. Ask to go out with her and the bloke when they go to look at curtans even if its not something you really want to do. Good luck...I know that these transitions can be hard...and you should probably hold off on the engagement ring part....you can wait a few months
Author v8adam Posted March 23, 2006 Author Posted March 23, 2006 Thank you for the reply, last night we went shopping. And guess what, we met the guy from work and his partner there. That gave me the s***s cos once we met up with them i was almost invisable. But something good came out of it, i had a chat with the guy from work cos i do get along good with him and he gave me some good advice so i think ill be right. On the way home last night i asked her if she had plans for tonight (friday night) and she said she was going over to her friends (obviously to get drunk) and she asked why, and i said cos i wanted to do something but it was ok. Saturday night she is going out as well. I think im better though, after the chat with the guy from her work im fine, he has been through 4 marriages and he said me and her will be fine.
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