Demi Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 Hi all, How is everyone? I just wanted to post my story and hopefully it will help others...I would also love some feedback. LDRs are not for everyone, but I am glad I tried it. My ex and I were in a LDR for 1.5 years. We met online and travelled 3000 miles to see each other once a month...west/east coast. We spoke on the phone four times a day. About six months into it, he asked me to move to CA and said he wanted to discuss details with me as soon as we were together. For about nine months...he would start the conversation on the phone, but during visits, he would blow me off, block the conversation, change the subject, etc. I felt really stupid and strung along. Then he'd turn around and make me feel like I was pressuring him! What? I asked him not to bring up a move unless he's absolutely sure about it. During New Year's Eve, he said it again and we were going to discuss the issue of the move. By this time, I got a promotion and my daughter was admitted to a great school...so I wasn't moving anymore and was very committed to that. He visited NY for two weeks to research the possibility of him moving instead. Guest What? He broke up with me two days after he returned home, saying he didn't like NY and he couldn't afford the relationship anymore. Unbelievable...I'm still in shock. Please be very clear and realistic with your partners about the move issue. I am glad I stood my ground and didn't move for him. He wasn't willing to do it for me. Take care, Demi
fraidycat Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 Thanks for sharing your story with us Demi, also I'd like to make people aware of the importance of paying attention to red flags when they are waved! You said this guy would always bring up the issue of you moving there but on visits he'd blow it off, turn it around, etc etc..he was waving a big red flag. You'll do better off without him though good luck girl!
Lil Honey Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 Demi: Thanks for the story. I'm sorry that it had to happen to you, but I'd like to point out that you are better off without someone like that. I'd say that you had a guardian angel that showed you his true colors before it was too late. I want to say that I am impressed with the way you stuck to your guns (priorities) and have made a life for you and your daughter. The best thing you can do is teach your child that self-reliance can't be substituted. She sees her mom as a strong woman, so she has a higher likelihood of becoming one herself. Good job!
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