agnf666 Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 So, I have been talking to this guy I met from an online forum. Now, he is a pretty decent guy... Very nice and sweet... He is 8 years older then me and he is also Jewish... Now, I have no problem with that but my family might have an issue with that... being that I'm not jewish. He has told me that he is not really religious... but what do you do when I celebrate christmas and he must celebrate hanukkah??? Anyone have any advice for this???
whichwayisup Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 You do both. I know many people who have mixed religion marriages and it works out fine. See, he sounds like a jew who isn't 'religious' and doesn't follow all the rules of being jewish. How does he feel about this? Have you talked to him? Also, if you really like him, then your folks should give him a chance and not judge him because of his religion.
Author agnf666 Posted March 22, 2006 Author Posted March 22, 2006 I haven't talked to him about that yet... He never really told me he was jewish I found that out on the forum we talk on... I don't know how to strike up that conversation about that... He doesn;t see all that religious at all... so who knows... Yah I think my parents wouldn't have a problem with that... Is it wierd to have a guy that you never met but talked to for a few weeks say " I know you might think it's crazy but, I see us having a future together!"... It sounds interesting too me... I know he can't be too much bulls*** about that because he is 28 and he should be pretty much mature...
noclobber Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 I personally have an experience with this situation. I once did the mistake of asking out a Jewish girl and these were the exact words that came out of her mouth -> "I can only marry a Jew" Good Luck!
Author agnf666 Posted March 22, 2006 Author Posted March 22, 2006 I think if he was really into his religion the he would have probably asked me already about that... maybe... hopefully...
Walk Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 First off... Just because he's 28 doesn't mean he's "mature". Second.. you've only talked to him on a forum for a few weeks and already he's decided you two have a future together? Little fast.. You haven't even met him, have you? Have you even talked on the phone? Any real, human, interaction with him at all? Other than on-line? Maybe I read your post wrong.. but it sounded like you only know him through the forum.
Walk Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 Is it wierd to have a guy that you never met but talked to for a few weeks say " I know you might think it's crazy but, I see us having a future together... I think it's incredibly soon to be saying that. I'd be weirded out, and think the guy had some problems. So yes, I think it's weird.
hooghie Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 I think if he was really into his religion the he would have probably asked me already about that... maybe... hopefully... His parents/family may care even if he doesn't. The Jewish community is very strong and most of them prefer to marry within.
Author agnf666 Posted March 23, 2006 Author Posted March 23, 2006 I was a little wierded out by it... I haven't talked to him on the phone yet... I'm suppose to this evening... I know that even though he is 28 that doesn;t mean he is mature... I will talk to him on the phone tonight and take it from there... The last guy I was suppose to met online was really wierd and I'm glad that didn;t work out... there is just something about this guy that really interests me and it isn't the fact that he said what he said...
kaneplacegirl Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 I think this is a sad situation and remember think about yourself and your feelings. He loves his family or maybe he can love you too. Best of luck and I hope you win his heart!
AriaIncognito Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 I'm currently in limbo with a Jewish guy who isn't sure about this. I'm not Jewish, and he's always assumed he'd marry Jewish (his parents aren't very accepting of the idea of marrying outside the faith). He's not religious. Might go once a year he said. He's not orthodox. Etc. We're dating and so far get along swimmingly, but he's still not sure what he wants as far as pursuing it on a more serious level. It's still early on, so I'm not pressuring him. We've been seeing eachother for about a month. If you can take the indecision, keep seeing the person. Otherwise, I'd suggest moving on to someone else. Sometimes it can get difficult when the other person isn't willing to commit. Jennifer
whichwayisup Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 Right now you only know what he is showing you online...Offline he could be a completely different person. Until you talk to him on the phone a bunch of times and then actually meet him in person, don't be thinking of having a future with someone you've not met...Things can change very quickly face to face...Not saying that will happen, but don't let the fantasy of "online" feelings get in the way of reality.
Author agnf666 Posted March 23, 2006 Author Posted March 23, 2006 Well...I finally talked to him on the phone tonight... It was a fairly decent conversation...He is very nice and I think I'm going to persue to get to know him more and see how this goes....and if I think it is worth to met then I will do it...
Mary3 Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 I am very glad you did the phone thing. Eventually when you feel more comfortable you both can meet in a public place. They recommend a coffee house and just casual talking.... He sounds like he is in a rush. You may question that rush or maybe he feels such a strong connection and things are moving fast in his mind.
littlekitty Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 Right now you only know what he is showing you online...Offline he could be a completely different person. Until you talk to him on the phone a bunch of times and then actually meet him in person, don't be thinking of having a future with someone you've not met...Things can change very quickly face to face...Not saying that will happen, but don't let the fantasy of "online" feelings get in the way of reality. WWIU has a good point here. Don't invest too heavily in a 'cyber' relationship. I know personally how easy it can be to let your mind run with thoughts and feelings about someone. But the truth is, until you've actually met with that person, you can't know what you have or don't have. I met my SO online though, so things can very much work out. Just get the relationship into real life and don't linger in 'cyber space love'!
Author agnf666 Posted March 23, 2006 Author Posted March 23, 2006 Well considering the fact I have never met anyone from the internet it might take me a little bit in order to go and do it... I'm not in a rush though... I think he got the idea of that last night... I think we need to talk a little more before I met him anyways...
littlekitty Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 The first time you do anything is the most nerve racking!! Just get a place where your comfortable with each other, and try to arrange a meeting. But defaintely take your own time, and do it when it feels right. Remember all the golden rules of meeting people from the internet as well. I'm sure I don't need to say public place, let someone know where you are. Have a get out call arranged. Both my SO and myself commented when we were first talking (before we met) that we seemed to have so much in common and seemed perfect for each other! Good luck and keep up informed!
alphamale Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 Now, he is a pretty decent guy... Very nice and sweet... He is 8 years older then me and he is also Jewish... Yes, Jewish is good. If I had to be reborn I'd request a Jewish mother . These guys tend to be loyal, well-educated and good providers/family men. You cannot go wrong here. Now, I have no problem with that but my family might have an issue with that... being that I'm not jewish. you should actually be more worried about his family.....see, if the kids don't have a jewish mother then they're not jewish. With only about 14 million Jews worldwide they must keep their faith alive. He has told me that he is not really religious... Most Jews are not religious....its more a country-club atmosphere. You need not practice the faith to get all the benefits of the group. As long as you had a Jewish mom you're in the club. Connections, money, resources....they're all at your disposal. but what do you do when I celebrate christmas and he must celebrate hanukkah??? just celebrate Christmukkah, or better yet, Festivus...
blind_otter Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 David Cross has a hilarious bit about how you can be Jewish and Athiest. As long as you pass through a Jewish vagina, anyways. I think that if he's not that religious it probably doesn't matter. Just ask him.
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