gidy Posted March 21, 2006 Posted March 21, 2006 I am wondering how to regain some self esteem after an affair? I dress nicely, wear make up, look good, but still just dont feel attractive. I do see men lookig at me, but it does not seem to matter. I have had men actually tell me I am beautiful, but it just does not matter. What do I do with myself?
mopar crazy Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 I'm sorry that you are dealing w/ this. I felt the same way when I found out about my H's A. My self-esteem was already low and then he had an A. Nothing like making my self-esteem shoot down to nothing. I lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time b/c of his A but I still didn't feel good about myself even though men would whistle at me and notice me. I still didn't feel good about myself. Things got a lot better w/ my self-esteem when I went to my doctor and he put me on anti-depressants b/c of my depression from the A. That helped my self-esteem shoot up. Maybe you are suffering from depression from the A. It wouldn't hurt to get some professional help. GL!
Guest Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 I am wondering how to regain some self esteem after an affair? I dress nicely, wear make up, look good, but still just dont feel attractive. I do see men lookig at me, but it does not seem to matter. I have had men actually tell me I am beautiful, but it just does not matter. What do I do with myself? Whether you seek professional help or not ... get in some serious healing time and gain some perspective. The cheater sent you a devastating set of messages: "Nothing you do is good enough to stop me from cheating / you're not worth my keeping a promise I made to be faithful / this relationship succeeds or fails based solely on my perception of you." You deserve far better than that. Just my personal opinion: In the future, consider holding out for a guy who isn't a makeup/wardrobe/weight/fitness nazi. If guys had to face the pressures of a daily makeup regimen, shell out hundreds of dollars every few months in hair salons, keep up with endless expensive fashion changes, give up all those burgers and sirloins and Doritos and beer for tofu and tiny salads, and agonize over every fraction of an inch/pound, they'd think twice about what they expect of women. FWIW: I'm the guest who started the "on the brink of cheating" thread. Your plight is a perfect reminder of the damage I'd cause my wife if I took that fatal step. Though I'm sorry my thanks has to result from such tragic circumstances ... thanks. {{{{gidy}}}}
giddy Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 FWIW: I'm the guest who started the "on the brink of cheating" thread. Your plight is a perfect reminder of the damage I'd cause my wife if I took that fatal step. Though I'm sorry my thanks has to result from such tragic circumstances ... thanks WOW! I am so glad that my pain has helped you. I am so glad you posted this. To know that through my words you realised your decision would brake your wifes soul, and you actually learned something from that. Turn pain into positive, right? You are a good man, and your wife is lucky to have you.
Recommended Posts