lucky7 Posted March 21, 2006 Posted March 21, 2006 Men- If you saw your friends wife with anither man, would you tell your friend? Even if you knew he cheated on her in the past? Just curious.....
THX2000 Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 I would tell her that she has 24 hours to tell your friend what's going on or you will tell him yourself. Are you sure she's cheating? What was she doing with the guy when you saw them?
portableversion Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 when your friend cheated on her?? Now you are going to tell your friend about his wife? Hypocrite.
catgirl1927 Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 when your friend cheated on her?? Now you are going to tell your friend about his wife? Hypocrite. Seriously. Not to derail, but I have a related questions: If you know your buddies cheat on their wives, what do you say? Do you tell on them? Do you mind your own business? I don't have any friends who cheat, but if they did I would probably lecture the hell out of them, but I'm not sure if I would tell on them or not. What if your wife told you a buddies wife was cheating? What if your buddy told HIS wife that you were cheating and she told her friend, your wife? How would everyone feel about that? Would you tell your wife not to tell if you told her something like that?
Mz. Pixie Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 I'd tell her that I saw her and she had 24 hours to tell her husband. My husband went through this with his exwife. When they were having problems but still living together one of his friends saw her out at a bar with another guy- the guy she eventually left him for. He never told my husband. Recently he told me when he was drunk that he had seen her. He said he and the rest of the guys discussed it and they didn't want to hurt him so they didn't tell him. I'm not so sure that was a good move. It would also depend on how close I was to that particular couple. If it's someone I know casually then I'm not going to get involved. If it's like one of my best friends- then yeah, I'd do as I advised above.
onlyhuman Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 Portableversion beat me to my thoughts. Since you said nothing before I would stay out of it.When this blows the are both going to know about each others cheating,yuk,what a mess. I wouldn't hesitate reaming on someone for cheating.Being a good friend means sometimes you have to do something unpleasant, Usually if the friendship is worth anything they will appreciate it eventually.If your marriage isn't working get out of it.
Owl Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 OK, I've been in a similar situation, and really do regret the way I handled it. MANY years ago, when I was a young owl... My 'best friend' when I was in the Army was one of those guys that women DROOL over. Very handsome, body of a gymnast...and could sweet talk a dying woman in the desert out of her last drop of water. Had a steady GF from high school, who he ended up marrying even though they were seperated the majority of the time. She was actually a very sweet young lady that I felt deserved a much better guy than him. He cheated on her ALL THE TIME. I never said a thing to her. To this day, I regret not having said something. She suspected many times, but he was too slick. Now that I'm older and been through having a cheating spouse, I regret even more not having taken some kind of action. So...if that situation were to turn up now, yes, I'd tell ANYONE that I knew had a cheating spouse in a heartbeat, without a moment's regret.
whichwayisup Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 I think it all comes down to circumstances. I can't remember now, but there was a post about telling or not telling...Because the MM's wife was depressed, and seriously ill too, she didn't work, had nothing except her husband. It would have destroyed her if the OW's spouse had told her.
johan Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 Another option: just put some distance between yourself and them. Their actions are putting you in situations where you have moral dilemmas. Now you have to question to whom you should be more loyal and are you being a hypocrite. Well that just makes these people hazardous friends. It isn't YOU who has the problem. It's them. I'd consider not being in that mix at all.
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