Guest Posted March 21, 2006 Posted March 21, 2006 Question: I have been in a monogamous relationship for several years. I have never cheated on him, but this past year our relationship has been long distance and for various reasons, we have not been able to see each other for several months. We just got engaged over the summer. Last month I went to a party and got very drunk. I ended up kissing this guy who is friends with my friend but lives in another city. I don't plan on seeing him again, it was totally a one time deal. The problem is, I feel very frustrated about this long distance thing; I had been contemplating doing something like this for awhile. When I kissed him, I actually wanted to go further. Now that I am sober and it's been awhile, I realize what a mistake it was and that I'll never do it again. So, should I live with my guilt and never say anything about it because it won't happen again? Or should I be honest and tell him? Other people know it happened, and although I don't think it would ever get back to him, should I tell him now just in case someone else does?
Sadly Posted March 21, 2006 Posted March 21, 2006 Tough one, there. But, there are two questions your should consider. 1) Wouldn't you want him to come clean if he was to the same? (Would you rather him keep it on the down low?) 2) Is coming clean worth the risk of loosing him?
Minnaar Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 I can't say I see this as a cheating event. Yes you did kiss him. No you didn't have sex with him. BBBBUUUTTT sounds as if you need to seriously take a look at your readiness to settle down. Sounds as if you are not completely ready in this stage of your life to do this. It is not a matter of telling him or not telling him. I am a firm believer that alcohol, although makes things easier will not cause someone to do something they would not do otherwise sober. Hope you do well. Minn<3
Guest Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 Just a brief comment from here. I simply cannot see why you should tell him. It will only be to try to relieve yourself from guilt, and I cannot see why he should feel better because you told him about this quite unimportant incident. So save your relationship from this trouble which might haunt you both anyway for a very long time, and think forward, in my opinion, just tell yourself, that this cheating was not what you really wanted, a mistake, and if you believe in it then stay in the relationship, and if it is really certain that you will stay with your boyfriend forever, and will not be cheating any more your boyfriend should be a lucky man, seriously ... Best regards from here guy in the twenties
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