ratzskinakie Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 Have you been in this experience, or if a guy tried asking you out, and you saw it comming because maybe he flirted with you before walking up to you, but you notice that he gets nervous while he is talking to you, then he backs out, do you think of him as a wuss? Normaly I have no problems aproaching attractive girls, but when I try to ask a girl out, ill get nervous and so ill start mumbling while talking, then sometimes the girl will get nervous too when she talks to me. and so i change my mind and dont end up asking her out and later I feel stupid about the whole situation that happened.
prfrogkisser Posted March 21, 2006 Posted March 21, 2006 Are you related to Chandler from the T.V Show Friends? lol Just Kidding!!!! If you worked up the courage to talk to her why not finish? The difficult part is making the first move then the rest shouldnt be much work. I guess you need to practice and dont give up. Take it as a learning experience. You have to keep trying until you feel comfortable enough to not get as nervous. If the girl get nervous that is a good sign. You might have something in common Dont miss out on what could happen. Take a chance and GO FOR IT!!!! Honestly i would be pretty disappointed if a guy came up to me and didnt ask me out:lmao:
qnmc Posted March 21, 2006 Posted March 21, 2006 From a dude's perspective, what you fear is rejection. Who doesn't? This is something that is apparent in all guys at all stages of our lives... we just get better at managing it over time. What I've done over time (I'm 30), is reframe the situation in my head - I am just as much of a catch as she is. It may even help for you to reframe your thinking so that you believe you are actually doing her a favor by asking her out (and I don't mean this in a cocky, superior sort of way). In a way, aren't you doing her a favor? You're a great guy right? Any girl would be psyched to hang out with you. Obviously, you don't convey to her that you think you're doing a favor. Also, don't associate her answer with winning and losing. Even Brad Pitt gets turned down. The key here is not take it personally. Go into it knowing that whatever answer she gives it has nothing to do with you as a person, she has no say over your self-esteem or self-confidence, only you do. The way I tend to think when I start to feel nervous when I want to ask someone out is that this is not a life or death situation, I am not curing cancer here.
Author ratzskinakie Posted March 22, 2006 Author Posted March 22, 2006 I don't necassary fear rejection, which I have experienced in the past. but also ill be thinking things like "what if she says 'yes'"? and I get anxious thinking about that. but I guess I just fear the fact of saying soemthing stupid, the fact of getting nervous, what to say, do it right, the rush and all. but yeah, ill just keep on practicing at it. but I just posted this because I just wonder what goes through a girls mind when she notice a guy gets too nervous talking to her and he wusses out.
blue16 Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 From a dude's perspective, what you fear is rejection. Who doesn't? This is something that is apparent in all guys at all stages of our lives... we just get better at managing it over time. What I've done over time (I'm 30), is reframe the situation in my head - I am just as much of a catch as she is. It may even help for you to reframe your thinking so that you believe you are actually doing her a favor by asking her out (and I don't mean this in a cocky, superior sort of way). In a way, aren't you doing her a favor? You're a great guy right? Any girl would be psyched to hang out with you. Obviously, you don't convey to her that you think you're doing a favor. Also, don't associate her answer with winning and losing. Even Brad Pitt gets turned down. The key here is not take it personally. Go into it knowing that whatever answer she gives it has nothing to do with you as a person, she has no say over your self-esteem or self-confidence, only you do. The way I tend to think when I start to feel nervous when I want to ask someone out is that this is not a life or death situation, I am not curing cancer here. Best post I've read in a long time.
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