ange_247 Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 A guy I have know since HS has recently come back into the pic. He was my HS crush but we never got together back then. 9+ years later we have reconnected. We both have gone through a divorce and when we first met up again the attraction was apparent. We both agreed that we were not looking for anything other than sex. He would call once in a while and we would meet up and have our fun and that was it, we were both ok with that, wierd I know. The last time we were together, after the sex, he seemed bothered, so I asked what was wrong and he mention that what we have is good but it sucks at the same time. He then said that he wondered what things would have been like if we had gotten together but that I had pushed him away back then(this was news to me). I joked and said things would be great if we got together but I also reminded him that this was what we agreed on. After he left that night I felt so bad I wanted to tell him that we shouldn't wonder what things would be like, lets give it a try. But of course in the moment I had a mental block and could not say anything right. About 3weeks later we went out dancing for his bday with friends and had a great time. We danced, laughed, drank, kissed and of course had sex. The entire time I thougth of ways of telling him that I wanted more, a relationship, but then I fear rejection and losing a great sex partner and friend. How do I find out if he in fact wants more, as well, with out the risk of losing him all together? I'm driving myself crazy with this one, any advice i'd really appreciate!
Lishy Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 I think you should take a deep breathe and just say it! Jesus you have sex with this guy and he is your friend - Put it to him like "Honey I was thinking about what you said to me that day, why dont we just try instead of wonder?" The worst he could say is no! Just go for it!
Mary3 Posted March 22, 2006 Posted March 22, 2006 They say its a little late to suggest a relationship when you have the sex first and then get the idea of committment. However, your case is different. You have known eachother 10 years. You have always had an attraction. You have had sex and both now kinda/sorta decided you both might want something bigger. But do not confuse hot lust with something bigger unless you really both feel this is something genuine and not just hormones racing. Good Luck either way !
Guest Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 A guy I have know since HS has recently come back into the pic. He was my HS crush but we never got together back then. 9+ years later we have reconnected. We both have gone through a divorce and when we first met up again the attraction was apparent. We both agreed that we were not looking for anything other than sex. He would call once in a while and we would meet up and have our fun and that was it, we were both ok with that, wierd I know. The last time we were together, after the sex, he seemed bothered, so I asked what was wrong and he mention that what we have is good but it sucks at the same time. He then said that he wondered what things would have been like if we had gotten together but that I had pushed him away back then(this was news to me). I joked and said things would be great if we got together but I also reminded him that this was what we agreed on. After he left that night I felt so bad I wanted to tell him that we shouldn't wonder what things would be like, lets give it a try. But of course in the moment I had a mental block and could not say anything right. About 3weeks later we went out dancing for his bday with friends and had a great time. We danced, laughed, drank, kissed and of course had sex. The entire time I thougth of ways of telling him that I wanted more, a relationship, but then I fear rejection and losing a great sex partner and friend. How do I find out if he in fact wants more, as well, with out the risk of losing him all together? I'm driving myself crazy with this one, any advice i'd really appreciate! No aint that big of deal.. go for it hunny!
lostinmyself Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 My advice: Just ask and tell him how you feel. I recently hooked back up (again) with someone that I've had an on/off relationship with for 20 years (since I was 15). We both went our separate ways for years...marriage/divorce for both, etc. but always seemed to find our way back to each other over the years. We finally hit a point in our lives that we were ready for more..together. If it's right, you won't lose a great sex partner and friend....you get better sex, a greater friendship and all that goes with it!
Noos Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 You've seen each other naked yet can't talk to each other? I don't understand that. But this sounds like a good possibility. Dive in and go for it.
lostinmyself Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 You've seen each other naked yet can't talk to each other? I don't understand that. But this sounds like a good possibility. Dive in and go for it. Yeah, what Noos said!
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