fooled Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 To recap: So, you all know that my ex called an left a VM for me this past Wednesday that I inadvertantly heard. It said she had something she "really wanted to tell me" and to call her. I didn't. Last night I got an email from her with no subject line. I deleted it without reading it. I figured it would say something like "I know you're not talking to me but (insert whatever she "had" to tell me here), so now you know." Whatever it would be would be to lessen her feelings of guilt or prepare me for somethign or really - whatever. As much as I am telling myself I do not care what is happening in her life, however, my curiousity and anxiety was getting the better of me today. I remembered that all my emails get forwarded to a different business account I rarely check. So, I decided I would go ahead and read it. That I wouldn't just put up the illusion of not caring, but read it and process it so I truly would not care. I assumed it was that she was moving in with a guy or worse - a guy was moving into her place -- that is what I was prepared for. I was surprised by the content. The email read: "I just wish you would call back." Ahhhhh....the power. You know what I wish? I wish she hadn't slept with a dozen guys and lied about it. I wish she hadn't disrespected my feelings for the during of our relationship. I wish I could believe a word she says. I wish she was the woman she pretended to be. She will get no call back from me. And she can continue to wish I would.
riobikini Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 Fooled, -I could hug you! Way to go! (<does anyone say that anymore?) (Big Grin!) -Rio
Dinnj1 Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 You know what I wish? I wish she hadn't slept with a dozen guys and lied about it. I wish she hadn't disrespected my feelings for the during of our relationship. I wish I could believe a word she says. I wish she was the woman she pretended to be. how bad do you wish you could respond to her with the above... Ya gotta man! For all the heartbroken here on LS!!! Let her have it!!! Pleeeease!!! or- I suppose you could be the better person here, and just ignore her.
Author fooled Posted March 19, 2006 Author Posted March 19, 2006 Yum! Whatever I did, I am SO doing it again! Fooled, -I could hug you! -Rio
Author fooled Posted March 19, 2006 Author Posted March 19, 2006 How long was the NC for? Since like the 3rd week of January. I don't remember exactly I just realized that it's been a little over 10 weeks since I was last with her.
Chaser Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 Way to go! (<does anyone say that anymore?) lol, I'm not sure....anyway HIGH-FIVE!!! Seriously fooled, I am so impressed with the way you handle yourself. I've been reading these boards for quite some time and you are one poster whose entries I do not miss. Your strength is an inspiration to those of us who falter with No Contact (in the true sense of NC) and you deserve the feeling of power that your ex's last action has given you. Although this woman hurt you with her betrayal, you can take comfort from the fact that she is now having to deal with the consequences of her betrayal....and not because you are being vindictive, but because you have enough self-respect and dignity to not let her drag you back down. Fantastic stuff
kitten chick Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 I think this will make you feel a bit more vindicated but I can say without even knowing her that you are hurting her. It really hurts when someone you loved won't speak to you. So if that's what you're after then you're doing the right thing.
Author fooled Posted March 20, 2006 Author Posted March 20, 2006 I think this will make you feel a bit more vindicated but I can say without even knowing her that you are hurting her. It really hurts when someone you loved won't speak to you. So if that's what you're after then you're doing the right thing. She never loved me, KC. What hurts her is that the one guy she was sure would always be around is not - and knows why. And knows she can't correct it.
Curmudgeon Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 Since she was obviously manipulative, it naturally follows that she was controlling. Nothing gets under a controlling person's skin more than being extinguished. It's like robbing a fire of oxygen. When they get nothing in return, especially communication opportunities, it drives them crazy(er). I used it to good effect on the ex.
kitten chick Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 She never loved me, KC. What hurts her is that the one guy she was sure would always be around is not - and knows why. And knows she can't correct it. Either way, the fact that she's contacting you shows that she's feeling pain whether it's from guilt or feeling abandoned (even though you did it for good reason), she's hurting.
trone Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 KC, I know how it feels when someone you loved does not talk to you. Because I am in that situation right now. But, I dont agree with you. She is probably hurt but who cares! She would not cheat if she had really been on love with Fooled. She just needs someone, that is why she keeps calling. She is getting what she deserves. Keep it on Fooled! You are strong guy, and someone that deserves you is getting closer to you each day you keep moving on! Cheers!
Dinnj1 Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 Either way, the fact that she's contacting you shows that she's feeling pain whether it's from guilt or feeling abandoned (even though you did it for good reason), she's hurting. Hmmm.. tough spot. But if he chose to acknowledge her email and her pain... then he would only be satisfying HER NEEDS... HER EGO... and where would the lesson be learned??? Where was her concern for his feelings months back??? Sorry... but I'm bitter... And I know the 'power' he's feeling... and how good it feels....
kitten chick Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 She is probably hurt but who cares! She would not cheat if she had really been on love with Fooled. She just needs someone, that is why she keeps calling. She is getting what she deserves. Oh I agree with you 100%. My point is that if she weren't hurting in some way, ie. needing someone and Fooled's not being there, she wouldn't be contacting him. I definitely think she deserves it.
kitten chick Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 Hmmm.. tough spot. But if he chose to acknowledge her email and her pain... then he would only be satisfying HER NEEDS... HER EGO... and where would the lesson be learned??? Where was her concern for his feelings months back??? Sorry... but I'm bitter... And I know the 'power' he's feeling... and how good it feels.... I don't think he should call her back and I don't think she was a considerate person. I'm just sayin that she wouldn't be calling him if she wasn't hurting in one way or another.
Dinnj1 Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 You're right... which is why I believe in Karma... and now, hopefully, she will too
amaysngrace Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 You're right... which is why I believe in Karma... and now, hopefully, she will too i doubt seriously if she'll change her ways. she will most likely just change victims. that's what controlling people do. they don't realize their effect on others. their lives are only about themselves, nothing more. Fooled....i am so very proud of you!!
amaysngrace Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 oooh...one more thing....i think you have officially earned the right to belt out gloria gaynor's version of "i will survive"
jerbear Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 Fooled, you are doing a great job. I'm doing the same now and similar time Jan 11 but started earlier. Since she was obviously manipulative, it naturally follows that she was controlling. Nothing gets under a controlling person's skin more than being extinguished. It's like robbing a fire of oxygen. When they get nothing in return, especially communication opportunities, it drives them crazy(er). I used it to good effect on the ex. Very true, I figured her out that she hates losing control only to get controlled by her bf; plus really lost me this time.
Dinnj1 Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 doubt seriously if she'll change her ways. she will most likely just change victims. that's what controlling people do. they don't realize their effect on others. their lives are only about themselves, nothing more. oh, I don't think she'll change at all... they hardly ever do...
jerbear Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 i doubt seriously if she'll change her ways. she will most likely just change victims. that's what controlling people do. they don't realize their effect on others. their lives are only about themselves, nothing more. Fooled....i am so very proud of you!! from my experience, they change victums and try to keep the old ones around. Chew them, spit them out, find more to chew on. Use whatever means to get it, sex if they need to. Really amazing.
riobikini Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 RE: Gracie: " i doubt seriously if she'll change her ways. she will most likely just change victims. that's what controlling people do. they don't realize their effect on others. their lives are only about themselves, nothing more." Agreed!! What a bolt of lightening your post was!!! ('nother reason they call you 'amazing'....) (Smile) -Rio
amaysngrace Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 thanks Rio. you do make me smile. aren't you so proud of Fooled?? i know you are...dumb question...but i'm so proud of him too!! yeaaahhh for Fooled! who's the MAN???? Fooled's the MAN...yeaaahhhh Fooled!
johan Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 oooh...one more thing....i think you have officially earned the right to belt out gloria gaynor's version of "i will survive" Sorry to kill the mood, but that song could only be justifiably sung by a guy if he was a transvestite. Try "Mannish Boy" or at least something you don't have to use your hips too much to sing. Fooled: Think only future. Not past.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 I don't think he should call her back and I don't think she was a considerate person. I'm just sayin that she wouldn't be calling him if she wasn't hurting in one way or another. She brought it on herself. People that go around committing cruel and deceptive acts against people that love them can't expect Karma not to slap them in the face someday. For her it came sooner than most, and it's well deserved. Fooled should not give her another chance to hurt him or manipulate him. There is someone else out there for Fooled....someone who will respect and love him all the time, not just when it's convenient or advantageous for her.
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