rarchy Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 Hi everyone, Not sure why I am writing this post, I guess I just wanna talk about my situation with people who seem to know something about it! Plus it would be good to get a guys opinion. Sorry if this is long btw I'm at uni doing a course which goes between England (where I'm from) and France, the guy I like does the same except when I am in England he's in Spain (hes French) I liked him 2 years ago, but it was just a distant crush, nothing I was really bothered about and as there are about 100 people in our class we never really spoke. So 2 years on I am back in France and see him again. I hadn't given him much thought whilst I was away, but have now started to like him again. I am always sure he knows I like him, sees me looking at him or whatever, and thought maybe he likes me too. He’s a quiet guy, seems to have quite a few friends, but isn’t too outgoing or talkative.He never speaks to me at school and I thought he didn't like me or just doesn't care. Last week at a party we got talking briefly! I was a bit embaressed as weve never spoke and I'm sure he knows I like him, but was surprised when he said my name enthusiastically (surprised he knew it and as he never speaks to me!). I gave him a kind of strange look as I didn't know how to react, so he introducted himself, and then said "we've never really spoken, I'm sorry its just I am shy" which he repeated a few times. I' m sure we would've got talking more, but at this moment someone else came over to talk to me, so eventually he turned away and talked to someone else. I was so disappointed! I was quite surprised when he told me he was shy, I just presumed he was quiet and not talkative, didn’t cross my mind guys have the same problems! Afterwards I was thinking to myself, why would a guy apologise about not talking to you and say he is shy, because he likes me? Or just because he was drunk and he would say it to anyone who he'd never spoken to at school. He was definfately drunk that evening, and I noticed him talking and being quite flirty and touchy with a few girls which I am sure was the effect of the alcohol as he is not at all like that normally, but I was thinking why doesn't he flirt with me! So last week after the party my objective was to talk to him at uni or at least to get a smile from him. Unfortunately every time we make eye contact I look away instinctively as I am a bit embarrassed (even if I looked at him by accident) so never get the chance to smile. I also noticed him looking at me on a couple of occasions, but he also looks away if I look at him. How do you think you can get someone to notice you, or to like you? (Considering he knows I exist and possibly likes me) I know this all sounds so stupid, but I just want the chance to get to know him! Maybe I'll decide hes boring or something, but before I leave in 3 months I need to at least try! If any guys are reading this what would make you react? A smile? Lots of eye contact (but not staring!)? I want to talk to him but the opportunity is never there as I dont know his friends and visa versa and dont see him much out of uni. Anyway, sorry this is so long but I really need some advice as I'm so rubbish in these situations. Would a guy normally tell a girl he likes that he is shy? Do guys find girls who look at them quite a bit annoying? (I don't stare or anything... ) Does a nice smile really make a difference? I just feel so frustrated as I see him everyday, but its unlikely anything will happen by itself as we never talk!
Praetorian Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 Human relationships lack rules as you already know... so it's hard to determine wheter he's interested in you or not. I would like to say yes, but there isn't anything on what you said that clearly makes me say that. If he's too shy as you said, ask him out to lunch or something, so that you can talk a little and get to know each other. If he's interested in you, he can't possibly refuse! Remember, life's too short! Go easy but go determined. That's your first guy opinion.
magda Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 You should smile at him in class, maybe a little wave. Acknowledge him in a friendly way. Try to plant yourself out in front of the class before or after under the guise of checking your bag for something, etc, and say hello and call him by name. It does sound like he might like you, so don't avoid his glances!
Tenorman Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 I do think he likes you. Assuming that is correct (and I could be wrong!) then I suggest the following: I think the ball is in your court. A shy guy will probably interpret your behaviour thus far as you not being that interested in him. He clearly wanted to talk to you at the party but circumstance (and perhaps your inaction) prevented that. The fact that he wasn't flirting with you suggests to me (in this case) that he does like you. I'd suggest taking a risk- smile at him and if he smiles back go up to him and talk to him and if he doesn't suggest you two go get a coffee, you suggest it. (I know it is scary but just do it anyway - you won't die.) I get the impression that you are both shy, so the situation is likely to be fragile ie either of you could misinterpret the smallest things and back away. Don't let that get you down if that happens. I do think action is called for though. Looking at each other day after day and neither doing anything about it will eventually kill the whole thing.
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