erika2610 Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 Well - sometimes the sex is good - what the hell is wrong with that? Life isn't perfect and one shouldn't be so judgemental! I haven't had an affair yet - thought about it - took the steps - but didn't - but I think a lot of people here have and there are people here who are obviously have been cheated on. The last time I checked - this was a support group for OW/MM - so being so judgemental and quite honestly, downright "forceful" about some comments is not conducive or helpful to people who are in these situations. Perhaps those who profess to speak for everyone should w0alk a mile in someone else's shoes before being so judgemental. My h- is cool - nice guy - no libido - so truthfully, if I want great sex - then I have to go elsewhere and after 17 years - I'm a little sick and tired of suppressing that part of me. So yeah, it can be about great sex - and you can be liberated and move on. Worked for me when I was younger and that was one of the best times of my life. No guilt no issues! W - I see no issue with this (and jump all over me - I have a very strong ego and sense of self....and the old adage words cannot hurt applies to me) - you did what you wanted. Half of the world does that - so don't beat yourself up about it - remember the good and move on. You cannot change the past - only your future behaviour. We have walked a mile in other people's shoes. Myself and Guest are former OW. We speak from experience. It's not worth it. It's not worth the people the A hurts. Think about other people - not just yourself here.
Guest Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 "The last time I checked - this was a support group for OW/MM - so being so judgemental and quite honestly, downright "forceful" about some comments is not conducive or helpful to people who are in these situations." Everytime I read this sentiment I think "The last time I checked, this is a support group for heroin users -- we are all here to support each other in our heroin use and we don't need to hear from families/friends of other addicts about the damage we are causing to ourselves and others. Stop being judgemental towards us and bumming us out when we're trying to fix over here. It's such a downer."
EnigmaXOXO Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 Everytime I read this sentiment I think "The last time I checked, this is a support group for heroin users -- we are all here to support each other in our heroin use and we don't need to hear from families/friends of other addicts about the damage we are causing to ourselves and others. Stop being judgemental towards us and bumming us out when we're trying to fix over here. It's such a downer." Spoken like a true addict. For anyone who has even spent one minute in a professional "support group" or counseling session (rather than on an informal forum)… you would already be aware that help and support does not equate mollycoddling and enabling. Helping doesn't mean keeping the addict afloat (treading water) while they are IN the throws of their addiction, thereby making it all the easier for them to remain stuck right where they are. "Help" means encouragement to get out of the current situation they're in even if that means having to open their eyes to the very real damage they are causing themselves and others. To do otherwise, only causes more damage to the addict and enables them to remain locked in their self delusions and denial. You're not "fixing" anything. Especially if you haven't learned the strategies for "fixing" your own relationship addiction, first. A reality check is only a "bummer" to those who are not yet able to face themselves in the mirror and deal with their problems honestly.
lovernotafighter Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 I thought this has been established shameless is a BS?? Gender: Female Biography: I love to pursue married men. I butter them up shamelessly until they feel so flattered they have sex with me. But I can't keep a guy for long. even if she only pursued MM's would she really type she can't keep a guy for very long? anyone with this kind of ego for one would think they could keep a man and 2 wouldn't give a s*** enough to post...let's quit wasting our time on this. shameless...go work on your marriage,and good luck..you'll need it.
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